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A skill that can be learned.

10/3/2018

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Do have trouble saying no? Maybe it's to your kids, or your coworkers or at the place where you volunteer. Saying no can be difficult to do. But there are times when saying no can be important, especially when you need to focus on yourself or you have more important priorities. Saying no is something that can be learned, like any skill. Here are seven reasons to say no...and do it confidence.
1,  There's no right way to say "no." Saying no is difficult, especially if it's to someone we really care about. But there are ways that are better and less hurtful than others. You might want to use these scripted responses. practice saying them with authenticity.
a.  “Now’s not a good time as I’m in the middle of something. How about we reconnect at X time?”
   b.  "Let me think about it first, and I’ll get back to you.”  
   c.   “I’m not the best person to help on this. Why don’t you try X?”
   d.   “I can’t commit to this as I have other priorities at the moment.”
2.   Your intuition is the greatest radar you have.  Listen to your gut. it will let you know if it's the right thing to do (or it isn't) long before you're able to express it in words. Tapping into your intuition will help you confidently articulate why you are choosing to say no, both to yourself and to the other person. Remember that some situations just aren't meant to be. try asking yourself this question: What is the best decision that I can make at this moment. Listen for your intuitive answer, not what your head is telling you. 
3.   When we stretch ourselves thin, we're not helping anybody. Especially when someone we love or admire needs help, we tend to say YES rather than being realistic about our time commitments. This typically leads to burnout, resentment, frustration, and doesn't help you or anyone else in the long-run. It takes courage to admit when you're uninterested, not willing, or simply want better.  Remember to keep your focus on your gut intuition...not on the requester's likeability. 
4.   You can't please everyone.  Sometimes saying no means losing a relationship. if that happens, let it go. You're true friends, your family, and colleagues will respectful for saying no and will understand. They've probably been in the same position before.
5.  Practicing saying no will help you clarify your real desires.  You will reach a stage in your life where there are simply more pressing demands; thinks like mortgages, children, aging parents,  a demanding job, etc. "You simply won’t have the bandwidth to say yes, every time. Revisit your priorities and evaluate how this experience will benefit your life," said life coach experts. Dr, Danielle Dowling, a psychologist, and life coach says to try this;
 Grab a piece of paper and write down the answer to this question. What would you like to never ever have to do again? Once you have your list, then burn it in your kitchen sink. When you are clear about what you no longer want to invest your time in, it creates the space and permission to prioritize your desires.
6.   Saying no gives others the chance to shine.n There's no need for you to be the rock star all the time. By saying no now and again, you step aside and let someone become the "lifesaver." You just never know when somebody else is dying to help out.  They'll be grateful to you for letting them have the spotlight. You'll feel good and so will they! 
7.   Boundary-setting is a practice in mindfulness. Saying yes is great. Just not all the time. Being able to say no gives you the time and space allows you to be. Without all the busy work and doing. Saying no can be an exercise in mindfulness. Sure, you might feel a little guilty at first, but acknowledging that feeling, and treating the requester with respect it becomes easier to let that guilt go. Dr. Dowling reminds us, "Living with more confidence starts with drawing our worth from deep within rather than letting the world decide for us."

I hope you found this bit of advice helpful. And while I have your attention, I was wondering if you'd mind coming over this weekend and help me move my refrigerator....
Picture
Even if you say no, I'll still love you! That's what real friends do.
Come on back tomorrow for a fun Friday blog. Until then I wish you
                                                               PEACE.   

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    Land of Lily Pad's first published author. I enjoy writing fun and educational books for kids. My blog is for you parents; the kiddos might like some of them, too. As always, everything I write is family-friendly, so don't hesitate to share my messages with everyone. I hope you find them helpful and maybe even inspirational. Cheers! 

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