Humans do this with good intentions, certainly, but it often comes with the high-cost of of disappointment and resentment. And why is that, you might ask? it's because we're no doing what rings true in our own hearts. We strive to please others because we have been conditioned to think that n order to be a decent person, or frog, we must do so. I must stress here that while it is important that we be able to compromise once in awhile, if it becomes habit for us...or prioritize it over matters that mean a great deal to us, then we risk losing alignment with our true desires. "Our desires are a road map for our life - if we follow them, then we increase our chances of feeling fulfilled. If we ignore them, we can feel a sense of lack or loss," so says "The Bountologist," a website dedicated to improving self-worth globally. Additionally, if our self-esteem is low, that causes us to constantly need approval from others. That's a classic sign that we don't feel as if we're enough, just as we are. But when we deeply love ourselves, we become comfortable with who we are, what we want, and can then be happy with or without the approval of others. We no longer need compliments to feel good. Self-esteem is essentially a relationship with ourselves. That means loving and appreciating ourselves even on those most difficult of days.
So how do we learn to say no and to prioritize our needs, while at the same time remaining kind and fair? Experts say that it's important for us to get in the habit of understanding and prioritizing our own agenda. get really clear on the things that are important to you. Ask yourself what are the items you're willing to be flexible on and which ones are non-negotiable. Then, practice saying a kind, but definite "no." Others may be surprised to hear you say that little word, especially if you're someone who always says yes, but ultimately they will come to respect you for standing your ground. Lastly, practice writing down three things you like about yourself every day. if you're like most of us. this may feel awkward and silly at first but it's very important to become your own BFF. Celebrate all those things that make you, you. We are the only ones who are responsible for our own needs and wants. Expecting others to fulfill and validate us never works our, at least not for long. But when we turn, instead, to our own wonderful and unique selves then a life that is purposeful and deeply rewarding opens up to us.