Do you have people in your life that just seem to suck the life right out of you? Perhaps you see them every day at work or at school. Some you might only have to deal with once or twice a year when they come for a visit. I have relatives like that. A day with Aunt Eggberta and Uncle Gomer Gorf can seem like a week! I am exhausted when they leave. To add insult to injury, they have triplets that are turning out to be just like their parents. Poor little froglets! But whether you see these energy-drainers all the time or just once in awhile, it's good to have a strategy to deal with them. Energy-drainers are the folks who talk non-stop about their every ache or pain...usually in far more detail than is necessary. Or maybe they talk down about everyone and everything they don't approve of or understand. I like to call them energy vampires; it doesn't matter what annoying habit they have, they manage to suck the life right out of you. It's easy to know if you're in presence of one of them because you'll develop a mystery headache, or feel unusually tense, physically/emotionally drained, or just plain irritable! And if you are particularly sensitive to the energy of others, then you have an even bigger problem. "Coined by Elaine Aron, Ph.D, the phrase "highly sensitive persons" refers to people who are especially aware of subtleties in their environment and are highly affected by the moods of others. " An empath, a person with the innate ability to sense what's going on in those around them, are particularly vulnerable to these energy-vampires.
The best way to deal with these folks is to first identify who they are. Ask yourself these four questions. While you can do it mentally, it might be helpful to jot down the answers. They will help you discover those who might be your life and peace-of-mind in an adverse way.
1. What kinds of qualities in other people do you find emotionally draining or exhausting? What kinds of people do you find it difficult to be around?
2. Are there currently any such people in your life with whom you don't feel you have set appropriate boundaries?
3. What would setting firmer boundaries with these people look like? What would be the benefit of setting such boundaries?
4. What keeps you from doing this?
Your answers to these questions can help you discover those individuals who might be draining you physically and emotionally. Then choose one energy vampire in your life and commit to setting firmer boundaries with this person. "This means saying no when you would normally say yes." This could mean limiting the amount of time you spend with them or the amount of mental energy you give them. It might also mean telling them which subjects are distressing to you and telling them to please refrain from discussing them...at least in any great length. And as soon as you begin to feel depleted, give yourself permission to leave without feeling any guilt. "Sorry Aunt Eggberta and Uncle Gomer, I gotta run now."
The best way to deal with these folks is to first identify who they are. Ask yourself these four questions. While you can do it mentally, it might be helpful to jot down the answers. They will help you discover those who might be your life and peace-of-mind in an adverse way.
1. What kinds of qualities in other people do you find emotionally draining or exhausting? What kinds of people do you find it difficult to be around?
2. Are there currently any such people in your life with whom you don't feel you have set appropriate boundaries?
3. What would setting firmer boundaries with these people look like? What would be the benefit of setting such boundaries?
4. What keeps you from doing this?
Your answers to these questions can help you discover those individuals who might be draining you physically and emotionally. Then choose one energy vampire in your life and commit to setting firmer boundaries with this person. "This means saying no when you would normally say yes." This could mean limiting the amount of time you spend with them or the amount of mental energy you give them. It might also mean telling them which subjects are distressing to you and telling them to please refrain from discussing them...at least in any great length. And as soon as you begin to feel depleted, give yourself permission to leave without feeling any guilt. "Sorry Aunt Eggberta and Uncle Gomer, I gotta run now."
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/inspiration/anna-yusim-protect-yourself-from-energy-vampires#ixzz57BFVpKd0m.
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