The other day, I inadvertently offended a very dear friend of mine. I could tell he was hurt; the usual sparkle in his eye was gone, and I felt terrible. Apologizing isn't easy for me, but I knew I owed him a big one and I wanted to make certain it was sincere and heart-felt.
Apologizing is, for most of us, a normal reaction to any faux pas, we make. But oftentimes, we don't want to apologize for fear of looking weak, like we're backing down. But who decided it was weak to apologize? I think it takes real courage to say, "I'm sorry" or "Forgive me, I was wrong." I don't always possess this kind of courage, although I do try. I'd like to think, however, that showing emotional vulneraility is a positive, rather than a negative quality.
For a long time we frogs, and I think you humans, too, used to keep things bottled up inside us. We stored up all of our negative emotions until it felt as if we'd explode. And sometimes we did. These days, most of us are more open to our emotional side and we show more empathy, kindness, and compassion towards one another. Heck, it's even OK, now, to admit to needing help from others. Thank goodness for that!
In this day of enlightenment we can, and should, acknowledge that nobody's perfect (especially us) and that we will all, at one time or another, hurt somebody...intentionally or not. The difference comes in admitting that we've erred, instead of just apologizing as an automatic response. I think that this is where humility comes into play. Can we admit to ourselves that we were, at least, partially to blame and then take the apropriate action necessary? Saying, "I'm sorry" is meaningless unless it is truly heart-felt and comes from a place of empathy; not just empty words that you feel obligated to say.
It's very easy to place the blame on others, but being "grown-up" means taking responsibility for our actions. And as my mom aslways says, "Actions speak louder than words." And they really do. Learning to apologize and owning up to our mistakes is a big part of the healing process both for us, and for the one we hurt.
I will go and see my friend today and apologize for what I did. I hope that he will see my apology as genuine and he will, as always, graciously forgive me. It's never my intention to ever hurt anyone's feelings but, sometimes, I speak without thinking. And it usually gets me into trouble, like it did this time. But I know I'm not a perfect frog, even though my folks tell me I am. They love me, warts and all.
If you owe somebody an apology but have been putting it off, for whatever reason, why not make today the day you say, "I'm sorry." These simple words can change the direction of your relationship. Time has a way of blowing things out-of-proportion. In a month, a year, or in 10 years, we may not remember what we said or did, but the other person will remember the sting of it. Their pain and resentment will linger...unless you elect to do the right thing. Do you want to risk losing that person because you can't, or won't, say three little words?
I'm sad that I hurt my friend and I am going over to see him as soon as I can. I might even bring him a few of his favorite chocolate-covered grasshoppers. Although the gift won't be necessary, I do want him to understand just how much his friendship means to me. Will this day be the day you "man up" and take action to correct a hurt you caused? I sure hope so. Like everything else in life, you may never get another chance to make it right. Your friend, and mine, are waiting....
Apologizing is, for most of us, a normal reaction to any faux pas, we make. But oftentimes, we don't want to apologize for fear of looking weak, like we're backing down. But who decided it was weak to apologize? I think it takes real courage to say, "I'm sorry" or "Forgive me, I was wrong." I don't always possess this kind of courage, although I do try. I'd like to think, however, that showing emotional vulneraility is a positive, rather than a negative quality.
For a long time we frogs, and I think you humans, too, used to keep things bottled up inside us. We stored up all of our negative emotions until it felt as if we'd explode. And sometimes we did. These days, most of us are more open to our emotional side and we show more empathy, kindness, and compassion towards one another. Heck, it's even OK, now, to admit to needing help from others. Thank goodness for that!
In this day of enlightenment we can, and should, acknowledge that nobody's perfect (especially us) and that we will all, at one time or another, hurt somebody...intentionally or not. The difference comes in admitting that we've erred, instead of just apologizing as an automatic response. I think that this is where humility comes into play. Can we admit to ourselves that we were, at least, partially to blame and then take the apropriate action necessary? Saying, "I'm sorry" is meaningless unless it is truly heart-felt and comes from a place of empathy; not just empty words that you feel obligated to say.
It's very easy to place the blame on others, but being "grown-up" means taking responsibility for our actions. And as my mom aslways says, "Actions speak louder than words." And they really do. Learning to apologize and owning up to our mistakes is a big part of the healing process both for us, and for the one we hurt.
I will go and see my friend today and apologize for what I did. I hope that he will see my apology as genuine and he will, as always, graciously forgive me. It's never my intention to ever hurt anyone's feelings but, sometimes, I speak without thinking. And it usually gets me into trouble, like it did this time. But I know I'm not a perfect frog, even though my folks tell me I am. They love me, warts and all.
If you owe somebody an apology but have been putting it off, for whatever reason, why not make today the day you say, "I'm sorry." These simple words can change the direction of your relationship. Time has a way of blowing things out-of-proportion. In a month, a year, or in 10 years, we may not remember what we said or did, but the other person will remember the sting of it. Their pain and resentment will linger...unless you elect to do the right thing. Do you want to risk losing that person because you can't, or won't, say three little words?
I'm sad that I hurt my friend and I am going over to see him as soon as I can. I might even bring him a few of his favorite chocolate-covered grasshoppers. Although the gift won't be necessary, I do want him to understand just how much his friendship means to me. Will this day be the day you "man up" and take action to correct a hurt you caused? I sure hope so. Like everything else in life, you may never get another chance to make it right. Your friend, and mine, are waiting....
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