This famous Bible verse from Corinthians (13;13), sums up my lesson this week with the Dharma Frog. Love. One of my favorite topics. It's the subject of nearly every pop song ever written. The Beetles told us, in1967, "All you need is LOVE." And how right they were! This song set off the hippie flower power movement, and spawned numerous love-ins during the late 1960's and early1970's. But not very much is written, or sung, about the need to love ourselves first. Why is self love so important? I was about to find, out as that was topic of my weekly lesson. This is such an important topic that I will break it down into 2 blogs; part 1 today, and part 2 will follow tomorrow.
Have you ever met someone who makes poor choices? Perhaps you've made a few of your own. I sure have. Lots of people today operate from a place of fear and negativity. It's not that they're inherently bad, it's just they've forgotten who they really are. They've come to believe untrue stories that may been told to them and may have been handed down from generation to generation. These people (and frogs, too, becaise I'm like this sometimes) often will act tough, defensive, and uncaring. They're not really any of these things, though. They're just wearing "protective clothing." Like a utility worker who wears clothing to protect him from dangerously high electrical voltage, these folks are protecting themselves, too, but from from the danger and pain of further hurt. These humans, often referred to as "cold fish" work very hard to act as if they don't care. But it's an act. Most give daily performances that are Oscar-worthy. Some don't believe they are deserving of self-love; hoping that another person can help them heal. They attempt to out-run the pain. Eventually, though, it catches up to them. And when the internal pain becomes too great, they hide behind their appearance and fancy clothes, buy expensive cars and all the latest electronic gadgets...all in an attempt to feel good about themselves. When positive attention can't be found, negative attention will also work. No amount of of hurtful words and actions inflicted on others, done because the pain these cause, feels better than the nothingness inside. But they can sustain them for long. Nothing will change, until their energy shifts. Their focus needs to be directed inside. When that happens, they immediately feel a sense of grounding....as if, yes, even they, too, actually belong to the world. Perhaps they aren't simply an alien lifeform, peering in from outerspace, after all!
Focusing our energies on self-love offers us a sense of connection and self worth. Once this feeling of belonging is felt...whoa! It intensifies and multiplies. We may even want to share it! When this self love is shared with the rest of the world, these formally "cold fish" humans and frogs, begin to morph into their true being. It feels whole. It feels valuable. It feel right.
Coming from a place of self-love makes us feel limitless. And when we feel limitless, we actually become limitless! The more we give, the more there is to share. Instead of working from a place of fear and hate, generated by stories that others have told us. we can now operate from a place of knowing. We begin to operate from a place that is our own truth. The Dharma Frog says that living our truth is the real definition of joy. I believe him. Dharma is never wrong about such things! He says, too, that it's the success everyone looks for. (Better even than having a stellar career with a big title and fat bank account.) Why? Because it has to do with living the life we were meant to live. We can bring our own special light into the world. We become big...and people notice. No, not big in an obnoxious "Look at me" kind of way but in a quieter, more peaceful, more powerful way. It might be said that we have a certain presence. Instead of being cold and distant, we become gentle and accessible. The best part is that when we are able to quiet our negative self-talk, we become, for the first time, able to see and hear other people. Just imagine that!
It's difficult for all of us to look at the things we'd just as soon sweep under the proverbial carpet. But for real healing to occur, we need to take responsibility for our own healing. We so often seek comforting and understanding from others when, in reality, the very best nurse, or caregiver, resides right inside of us. And they're on-duty 24/7. And that gentle, kind, and compassionate inner nurse can do more to transform our pain and anybody else in the entire world! (And there's no co-pay or health insurance needed.) We can't be expected to change all at one...but, rather, by one awareness at at time. Self-acceptance is the key. Our personal change is dependent on our wilingness to look at the things about ourselves that we like to blame on others. The world can only change when we love and accept ourselves completely.
The Dharma frog once said, "A frog who truly loves himself, could never hurt another." And that is where world change needs to begin. Tomorrow, I'll look at some of the ways Dharma Frog teaches as our best resources for learning to have more self-love.
I hope you'll come back for part 2.