Today is March 1st and spring is in the air. Even though it's still technically winter, I'm waking up earlier and it seems I'm getting a lot more done. To prepare for the Dharma Frog's weekly visit, I decided to brew a lighter and more fragrant tea to serve with my freshly baked strawberry scones. Even though I got an early start, I was just finishing up as my wise teacher arrive for my lesson.
As I poured the tea and served the scones, Dharma asked me what would turn out to be a loaded question, "Irwin, do you enjoy learning?"  "Of course I do, master! You know that I'm very fond of learning all kinds of things. Why do you ask?" His reply was simple. "If you like to learn then why is, Tadpole, that you don't like learning from your mistakes?" Oops! I think that perhaps I should have answered his first question a little differently.
"For a frog to be old and wise, he must first be young and stupid. All young frogs and young humans, too, like to think they know it all. As it turns out, they really know very little. It's the lessons we all  learn as youngsters, my little student, that allows us to grow old and wise. Experience is the best teacher."
And with that, Dharma gave me eight important lessons we can, and should, learn from our past mistakes.
1.  Mistakes teach us to clarify what we really want and how we want to live. If we didn't experiment with life when we're young, we'd never know what we want out of like...and what we don't. These mistakes help us to learn more about our true selves and our core values.
2.  Mistakes teach us to accept ourselves, warts and all, and still be loved. No one is perfect. The sooner we learn this, the easier life becomes. Learning to accept our mistakes and our flaws help us to grow. We can learn that its OK to screw up and still love ourselves. We learn that even when we make mistakes, and we all do, that we are still lovable.
3.  Mistakes teach us to accept our fallibility and face our fears. Sometimes even our best efforts just don't work out. We seemingly do everything just right and yet we fail. Sometimes we fail several times. Facing our mistakes often takes us to that very scary place..that we are not infallible. When we get stuck, and admit that we can't do it alone, that's when the door opens up for others to give us a hand. It can be very hard for young people to admit failure, but when they do, that wise older person...the one who's suffered the very same setback, comes along with answers. We learn. We grow. We help others.
4.  Mistakes teach us about ourselves and how to tell our truth. How often, when we do make a mistake, do we want to cover it up, hide, it, or erase it from memory? All the time, right? We are embarrassed by our failures. Being honest about our limitations offers us the opportunity to tell the truth. Admitting these painful truths allows us to expand our knowledge of self - to learn more about who we really are. This increases our capacity to change. And when we can admit our failures, mistakes, and limitations to others...to let them see who we really are...we can move towards letting go of our crippling embarrassment, guilt, shame, and blame so that we can concentrate learning and growing.
5.  Mistakes teach us what works...and what doesn't. Mistakes are a reality check. When we experience the consequences of a mistake, we receive a clear message about which of our efforts are working, and which ones are not. Often, we can trace our mistakes to reoccurring patterns of behaviors and beliefs, thus giving us the opportunity to change these habits. Sometimes, when we do, we may find that other areas of our life improve, too! It can be helpful to ask ourselves, after a mistake has happened, "What can I learn from this experience? How will I be different in future?"
6.  Mistakes teach us to take responsibility. It can be an instinctive reaction to say, "It wasn't my fault" or "I didn't do it" when we do something wrong. Kids say these things all the time.  Believe it or not, it can be empowering to take responsibility for our role in the mistake. No one said said that taking responsibility for a failure was going to be fun. It isn't. But we can learn that our choices and actions have a huge influence on the quality of our daily lives.
7.  Mistakes teach us about integrity. Breaking promises, over-committing, agreeing just to avoid conflict, and failing to fully listen are often the reasons that mistakes happen. Big mistakes often start off as small errors. Over time, these tiny choices that run against  our values and goals, can accumulate into breakdowns. If we pay attention to our choices, even the small ones, we can avoid running into trouble down the line.
8. Mistakes teach us to engage fully in our lives. We are more than our mistakes. Remember, too, that our past does not have to predict our future. Many humans, when faced with a big mistake, tend to withdraw and pull away. Instead, we can view these mistakes as evidence that we are growing, changing, evolving. They help us stretch to meet our full potential. Having others around us, in times of trouble, can sometimes help to give us that boost of confidence we need to continue onward. Hiding our head in the proverbial sand won't help a thing. Mistakes don't equate defeat. Mistakes remind us that we are not content to always "play it safe." There are often few rewards without taking a few risks.
As the Dharma Frog pointed out to me, we can learn and grow from our mistakes. We might even inspire others who are having difficulty. If you are a parent, then you know how valuable it is to teach your kids that it's OK to fail and to let them see your failures and mistakes. They learn from watching you. Children aren't born old and wise. They are born young and without experience. Growing up, falling down and getting, learning from their mistakes are all part of life. These experiences are what make us, if we're lucky to live long enough, to be considered by others as old and wise. Think of mistakes as gifts; ones we don't want at first, but ones we will consider priceless in years to come.

  Here we are, already at the end of February. That means it's time to take a look at all the special days coming up in March. There are so many great things to celebrate this month, besides Saint Patrick's Day. Check out the calendar and make a list of all the special days you want to celebrate or, at least, learn more about. I have a very long list. How about you?
March
1.  National Dadgum That's Good Day; National Horse Protection Day; National Peanut Butter Lover's Day; National Pig Day
2.  National Old Stuff Day; National Read Across America Day (Dr. Seuss Day)
3.  National Speech and Debate Education Day; National Anthem Day; National I Want You To Be Happy Day; National Day Of Unplugging
4.  Marching Music Day; National Grammar Day; National Hug A GI Day
5.  National Cheese Doodle Day; National Multiple Personality Day
6.  National Dress Day; National Dentist Day; National White Chocolate Cheesecake Day
7.  National Be Heard Day; National Cereal Day. It's also the birthday of my amanuensis!
8.  National Proofreading Day
9.  National Barbie Day; National Get Over It Day
10.National Mario Day, National Pack Your Lunch Day; National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day
11. National Johnny Appleseed Day; National Promposal Day; National Worship of Tools Day (for all your DIYers out there)
12. National Girl Scout Day; National Plant A Flower Day; Daylight Savings Time Begins
13. National Earmuff Day (A little late in the season?); National Good Samaritan Day; National K9 Veterans Day; National Open An Umbrella Indoors Day; National Napping Day (A day I can really embrace!)
14. National Children's Craft Day; National Learn About Butterflies Day; National Pi Day
15. National Everything You Think Is Wrong Day; National Shoe The World Day; National Kick Butts Day (stop smoking!)
16. National Everything You Do Is Right Day; National Freedom Of Information Day
17. Saint Patrick's Day; National Ag Day
18. National Awkward Moments Day; National Biodiesel Day; National Supreme Sacrifice Day (This day doesn't JUST honor the military who've given their lives.)
19. National Chocolate Caramel Day; National Let's Laugh Day; National Certified Nurses Day
20. Spring begins! Also national HIV/AIDS Awareness Day; National Proposal Day
21. National Common Courtesy Day (And can't we all use more of that!); National Fragrance Day; National French Bread Day (Pass the baguette, please.); National Single Parent Day
22. National Goof Off Day
23. National Chia Day; National; National Near Miss Day; National Puppy Day
24. Red Nose Day. 
25. National Medal Of Honor Day; National Tolkien Reading Day
26. National Spinach Day (A day you know Popeye loves to celebrate!)
27. National Joe Day
28. National Something On A Stick Day; National Weed Appreciation Day
29. National Mom And Pop Business Day; National Little Red Wagon Day; Manatee Appreciation Day
30. National Doctors Day; National I Am In Control Day; National Pencil Day; National Take A Walk In The Park Day
31. National Bunsen Burner Day; National Crayon Day; National Tater Day
I can't wait to get the party (ies) started! There are so many wonderful days in March, it's hard to know where to begin. But with my shopping list in hand, I'm off to the party store to stock up on supplies for all of my March festivities.

Empathy is a hot topic these days. You read about it everywhere. Perhaps it's because when there seems to be less of it, we realize how important it really it. It's the old, "You never miss something 'till it's gone" syndrome.
Parents want to foster empathy in their kids. Citizens want more empathy from their leaders, and society in general. Being empathetic means to be able to sense someone else's emotions, and be able to imagine what they might be thinking or feeling. And that's a good thing for everyone to be able to do. "So how can I cultivate more empathy?" you may ask. That's a great question! Let's look at what research has found.
For a long time, research has shown that people with certain personality traits, such as agreeableness, conscientiousness, and openness to experience, are more empathetic. And humans can increase their empathy by practicing mindfulness, listening actively (paying attention), reading fiction (that was news to me!), among other things. But a new study, recently published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin suggests that there is another predictor of empathy; our personal beliefs about happiness. More specifically, the authors studied how "people's beliefs about whether happiness is flexible, controllable, and internal, influence their empathy towards others. (empathy at a trait level) But those who felt that happiness is flexible, uncontrollable, and external were more likely to understand a depressed person's thoughts and feelings when viewing empathy from a state level (in a given situation, or state). The authors think that the difference between empathy as a trait, and empathy as a state, has to do with the difference between a human's beliefs and their actual behavior. Those humans who believe that happiness is controllable and internal, when faced with a depressed person's situation, might tend to believe that it's the person's own fault that they're depressed...happiness is controllable, after all. Those humans who believe that happiness is external and uncontrollable will see that same sad person with more understanding and more empathy (Poor guy. he's having some bad luck.). If we want more empathy, then, should we change our beliefs? Science tells us that the answer isn't that simple.
In yet another experiment, researchers tried to influence the test subjects beliefs about happiness, then measured their empathy. This didn't seem, however, to influence how empathetic the participants were. The authors of the study offered several explanations: 1. Perhaps empathy influences beliefs about happiness, rather than the other way around; 2. It is possible that some other human trait influences both empathy and beliefs about happiness; 3. The experiment did not successfully influence beliefs about happiness at all.
Researchers may not yet know whether or not altering their beliefs about happiness can change how empathetic a human is,  but they know that beliefs do matter. We know already that our beliefs about happiness can, and do, influence our well-being and our satisfaction with life. And that's pretty great! But scientists and researchers are just beginning to unravel this this thing called empathy. I'm sure that more studies will be conducted to see if changing our views about happiness can directly affect our ability to empathize. This research is so important, especially now, when there are so many groups out there, all around the world, who feel that empathy is denied them.
Although we frogs aren't always the most empathetic of creatures; after all, many of us eat our our kind, this particular amphibian tries very hard to be as happy and as empathetic as possible. I guess that comes from having a wonderfully kind, caring, and loving mother. And from spending so much time with kind and caring humans. It's rubbing off on me, and I like the way that feels!

This Sunday, February 26th is Tell a Fairy Tale Day. As a tadpole and young froglet, growing up in land of Lily Pad, I used to love having my mom tell me a fairy tale at bedtime. Now, little brother Quigley is enjoying the same froggy tales I enjoyed listening to. I think all kids, everywhere, enjoy these fanciful stories. Most of these wonderful childhood tales have been around for many, many years. Have you ever wondered what makes up a fairy tale or how they got started?  I did a little investigation, in preparation for my Sunday celebration, and here's what I learned.
Talking animals and the presence of magic seems to be common in all fairy tales...no wonder I like them! I learned that not every story with a talking animal is a fairy tale, however. Those where the talking animal is really a masked human is called a fable. And as for the magic, the key is transformation for a tale to fit into this genre. Originally, the stories we now think of as fairy tales were not separated out from other genres. The name fairy tale comes from the German word "Märchen" which means little story. The fairy tale, told orally, is a sub-class of folktales.  
The Brothers Grimm were among the first to preserve the features of these oral tales. Literary fairy tales and oral fairy tales freely exchange, plots, elements, and motifs with other stories, and even with the stories from other lands. The literary fairy tale became fashionable in the 17th century, developed by an aristocratic woman as a parlor game! The oral tradition of fairy tales, however, came along way before the written versions. Fairy tales often appear, mentioned in writings, as early as 100-200 A.D. Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales have fairy tale elements. Even some of William Shakespeare's greatest works can be considered fairy tales, like King Lear for example. The first, most famous Western fairy tales, if we use the broadest definition of what constitutes these stories, are Aesop's fables (6th century BC) in Greece. In the mid-17th century, a vogue for magical stories began to emerge with the intellectuals who frequented the salons of Paris. The salons of that era were usually hosted by aristocratic women and were an opportunity for both men, and women, to discuss the issues of the day....and to tell a good fairy tale!
Interestingly, the original audience for fairy tale was adults just as often as it was for children. But starting in the 19th century the fairy tale became associated only with children. And the adaptation of the fairy tale continued with Walt Disney's influential Snow White and Seven Dwarfs, intended purely for the children's market.
Did you know that Snow White was inspired by the real life of Margarete von Waldeck, the daughter of 16th-century Count of Waldeck? The area of Germany where the Waldeck's resided was known for mining. Some of the mining tunnels were so small that only children, or small people such as dwarfs, could fit through them and work the mines. Margarete's beauty is well-documented, and she did have a stepmother who sent her away, She fell in love with a handsome prince but mysteriously died before she could live her happily ever after. The modern-day version of the fairy tale classics that we all know and love were "rewritten" to be more suitable for children. The original stories were often too violent and brutal to tell to little ones.
So how do you celebrate Tell a Fairy Tale Day? By telling a fairy tale!  Here are some tips on how to best read, or tell, a fairy tale:
Children love to participate so ask them to make the accompanying sounds to help make the story come to life. And give each character its own voice by varying your tone and pitch. Experts say, too, to ask questions as you go along. It helps to keep interest up and is a good way to gauge if the kiddos are listening. Or, make up your very own fairy tale. No one said that there isn't room for new stories! Perhaps it can be a new family tradition...your children will tell their children the story that grandma  told them. Of course, you can use #TellAFairtTaleDay on all your social media on Sunday.
Whatever you do this weekend, I hope it's loads of fun. Stay safe and I invite you back here on Monday. As for me, I'm working on my very own froggy fairy tale to share with young Quigley on Sunday. "Once upon a time, on a lily pad far, far away...."​ 

Each of us was born unique. We are all different and meant to be that way. I guess that's why I love Oscar Wilde's famous quote, "Be yourself. Everyone else is taken." It perfectly states that we cannot be anybody else. If we try, we're sure to be a miserable failure. The"grand design" was for there to be only one of each of us. Variety is indeed the spice of life.
Just think about how wonderful it'd be if we could all live our lives focused on who we are; not on what we do, what we look like, what we own, or what we've accomplished. Wouldn't that take a lot of weight off the ol' shoulders? I do try to focus my attention on who I am as a frog...being kind, empathetic, loving, generous, funny (at least I hope so), and compassionate...and less on the fact that I'm small, green, a writer, and any/all of my failures. I think the big question that we all need to ask ourselves is, "What makes me a valuable frog (or human, in your case)" Many of us do think about it but, sadly, that usually means thinking about externals, like our accomplishments or what we contribute at work. But those have little to do with our worth, and who we really are.
What if we could stop evaluating by those measures and begin using a new "ruler" that would help us expand our appreciation for ourselves? Sounds lovely, to me.
Here are a few reasons why we should stop trying to be ourselves:
1. It's physically impossible. Well, maybe not, if you have hundreds of thousands of dollars to spend on cosmetic surgery procedures but then you'd only look like the other person. You still wouldn't actually BE the other person. You're setting yourself up for failure when you try to become someone you're not. 
2. Being someone else won't make you happy. You were born to be you. And when you try to give that up, well, I don't need to tell you that there's no joy in that. You'll work very hard and still have a big empty hole inside...the hole that's meant to be filled with your authentic self.
3.  Being someone else causes long-term emotional problems. What happens when you constantly fail at something? You get down on yourself. You lose self-esteem. Your self-confidence goes down the drain. And while all those things go down, your stress level goes up! It's a full-time job trying to be someone else. And it doesn't "pay" very well at all.
4.  You push people away. When you're busy being someone else, you push away the people that love and care about you! Why? Because you're not YOU anymore. You seek out new people whom you think will help you get closer to being this "other person." That never ends up well.
5.  You'll become lost. At some point, you'll "wake up" and realize that you'll never be this other person, no matter how hard you try. Then what? You've spent so long working on not being you that it becomes very hard to remember who you used to be. You'll have no idea what you truly want...or what you care about. Some folks never find their way back. They get stuck mid-way between their true self and the other person they tried so hard to be. They become invisible.
6.  You don't know the other person. No matter how much you think you know about your idol, the hard truth is that you don't really know them. Everyone has problems, and fears, and hurdles to overcome. You may see their life as "perfect" but it isn't all sunshine and roses. You can bet on that.
7.  You were made to be you, with your own gifts and talents. Your unique abilities are destined for something and it's up to you find out where to use those skills and talents. I truly believe that we all have a purpose. 
Being fully ourselves takes commitment and faith. It's a process of letting go of many of the false beliefs we have about ourselves. Being ourselves can be scary and counter-intuitive, difficult, off-putting and, at times, very lonely. But, the upside is that when we do the work and find out who we really are using internal measures, finding our authentic self can be exciting and fulfilling. When we have the courage to be our real selves, without any apologies or pretenses, so much of our stress and worry will just simply go away.
Always tell yourself the truth.  Appreciate who you are. Practice just being you. You may find out that you are WAY more awesome than you've ever given yourself credit for!
Love yourself, just the way you are. And you'll find that others will love you, too.

I woke up in a great mood. I was full of energy and, more importantly, filled with joy; it was great to b alive! I prepared tea and got the eggs going for breakfast when Dharma hopped onto my lily pad. He must have noticed my happier-than-normal mood, because he asked me why I was so chipper. I hadn't really thought about it but when I did, I discovered that there wasn't really any big reason for my happiness. When I told Dharma this, he smiled, "That's great, Irwin. But did you feel that way yesterday...and will you feel that way tomorrow?" The answer to the first part of the question was, "no" and as for the second part, how could I know if I'd be happy tomorrow? It wasn't here yet! 
That, of course, wasn't the answer he was hoping for but it did pave the way for our morning lesson. "Irwin, my boy, a frog's happiness is a way of travel...not a destination. We should not seek out happiness as if it were a goal to be achieved, or a prize for a contest won. Rather, happiness can, and should, be a way of living. It's what we were all meant to be. There isn't any need to wonder whether or not you'll be happy tomorrow, or the next day. You are happiness, Irwin. You can chose to feel that way all the time...even when times are tough."
I can? Hmmm. I'd love to feel like this all the time. I don't like it when i feel sad. I don't think anyone does...if they're honest with themselves. So my question to the wise teacher was, "OK, I like feeling happy. But do I make myself happy, even when I'm blue?" Dharma heaved a big sigh and explained that we can't make ourselves happy. If we try, we will experience happiness, but only briefly. It isn't the true kind of happiness that lasts and will sustain us through difficult times. "Happiness, Irwin, has to come from within. It's already inside you. You only need to let it shine through. Start by simply acknowledging that it is there." Then he gave me a few easy tips for becoming, and staying, happy even when there are storm clouds overhead and the forecast is for rain.
1.  Appreciate more. There's a lot to be grateful for, even on those tough mornings. Start with appreciating your bed. You could be sleeping on a pile of straw, or on a sidewalk. And don't forget your friends and family who love and support you, no matter what. Not everyone has a good support system. There are so many things to appreciate and show gratitude for.
2.  Have a morning routine that energizes you. Sip your favorite tea (or coffee), do some yoga, read an uplifting passage from a beloved book. Sure, these things take a few extra minutes but wouldn't getting up a little earlier be so worth it if you felt happier? Do you have a favorite scent, one that evokes good memories? See if they make that fragrance in a body wash and shower with it, or light a scented candle to make your bathroom smell super. Do the things that will make you want to get up and start your day.
3.  Practice acceptance. We all know that things don't always go the way we'd planned. When we can learn to "go with the flow" and accept what is, we feel calmer and happier. After all, everything happen for a reason.
4.  Develop a mindset of abundance instead of lack. When we see lack everywhere, guess what we get? More lack! Yep, it's true. And when we see life as abundant, we get more abundance. It works the same way as gratitude. Whatever we "put out there" is what we'll get more of in return.
5.  Be around happy people. We all know someone who always seems happy and up for anything. When you're having a bad day call him or her and ask them to meet you for lunch or to take a walk in the park after work. I bet that in no time at all, you'll begin to feel happier, too. Happiness is contagious. And don't forget to be that ray of sunshine for someone else when they're having a tough time.
6.  Take time to recharge; take time for play. We all remember the proverb, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." It's true for Jills, as well. We all need time for R and R. Scheduling "me time" into your daily schedule isn't selfish. It's a loving and a necessary thing to do. We can't be good to others if we're not good to ourselves. And your "me time" should include a little playtime, too. Nothing will lighten your spirits quicker than swinging, or playing in the sand. And don't forget coloring. Adult coloring books are becoming very popular. They're fun and can have a very a calming effect. Just watch your kids when they color and you'll see what i mean.
7.  Move slowly. This may make no sense to you, but when humans rush around, they often accomplish less, not more. Lao Tsu once said, "Nature doesn't hurry yet all is accomplished." Busier doesn't mean exceeding. Don't rush through your life; take time to stop and smell the roses, or lilacs, or lilies....
​8.  Soothe yourself. It doesn't so much matter what happens in our life as how we choose to deal with it. When things go wrong, practice self-love and kindness, We are, after all, our own best friend. And if we're not, then we should be. It's a good thing to give ourselves a hug now and again; to tell ourselves that we matter, and that we can get through what ever difficulties we may have to face. I'm OK. And so are you. Actually we're all more than just OK. We're all TOAD-ally awesome!
9.  Attend to the real world. This means setting aside all of our electronic devices and being present. We can't do this all the time, of course, but taking a little time each day to "tune out" the distractions of daily life is important and getting to be more so with every passing day. Living in present moment awareness not only centers us, but has a way of making us feel better.  All we have, for sure, is this one moment. Live in it; enjoy it, appreciate it. And last but not last:
10. Forgive often and let go. Learning to forgive can be very freeing. And part of forgiving is letting go. Holding on to all the past hurts is like carrying around excess baggage. After awhile, our shoulders begin to hurt and when we feel weighted down, we can't feel happy which means feeling light.
It's time, perhaps, to forgive, let go, and move into a new mode of travel; Happiness. The best part of happiness is that it never goes out of style, it doesn't need major repairs...just minor upkeep, there are no monthly payments, and it doesn't require a separate garage. It already has a place to hang out. It's deep inside us already, just waiting to be taken out for a spin. And as Dharma said, as he hopped away, "Once you take happiness for test drive, you'll want to own it; now and forever."

Merci beaucoup. Gracias. Danke. Thank you. These are some of the most repeated words on a daily basis. Parent teach their children, very early on, to say please and thank you. How, then, did humans end up as a species where gratitude is as much a part of their social relationships as, say, gossip? That's a question that's been asked for centuries. Charles Darwin even went so far as suggesting that humans and animals share many of the same emotion, even the more complex ones like jealousy, suspicion, and gratitude. So, do animals feel gratitude? Current research shows that it's entirely possible that we do! 
It's difficult, however, to find evidence of gratitude in species that can't say "thank you"... it's difficult but not impossible. By observing behavior, researchers can discover a great deal. Scientists believe that the behavior that reflects gratitude is reciprocity. Reciprocity is a mutual agreement; a kind of "I'll scratch your back and you scratch mine" arrangement that benefits both parties and helps to ensure that both of them are more likely to survive. It seems, then, that reciprocity may have been fundamental in the evolution of gratitude. Even though animals can't verbally express their gratitude, they do so by "returning the favor" or exhibiting reciprocity. There's a good deal of evidence to back this up, especially from the human's closest relatives, the primates. Studies have shown that reciprocity in food sharing is common among monkeys.  For example, a group of chimpanzees were given a task that required two chimpanzees to pull in a tray of food. The study was designed so that the chimps were free to come and go as they pleased. One chimp was often sitting there, alone, waiting for a partner to arrive to help with the tray of food. The researchers expected that the chimpanzees might choose to help out their friends. But what happened amazed them. "Instead, the chimpanzees were more likely to help out another chimp in need of a partner if that chimpanzee had also helped them in the past." Reciprocity seemed to be more important than friendship, or skill level at accomplishing the task, when it came to choosing who they helped.
The capuchin monkey last shared an ancestor with humans some 35 million years ago so scientists thoughts it might be useful to see how far back gratitude/reciprocity could be traced in primates. These capuchin monkeys were given a task where they could choose between a prosocial option that rewarded themselves and a partner, or a selfish one that only rewarded themselves. The prosocial reward was selected about 60% of the time. But, when the scientists gave them the opportunity for reciprocity, by alternating roles of chooser and partner, the monkeys became significantly more prosocial, now choosing it nearly 75% of the time! Scientists also learned that capuchin monkeys are  highly attuned to whether a situation is reciprocal or not, and can remember if another monkey has helped them, choosing to reciprocate to those monkeys, first.  In yet another study, it was found that both the capuchin monkeys and four year-old children engage in what is called upstream reciprocity...paying it forward. Those that received a favor were more likely to donate a favor to someone else...regardless of whether or not that other person/monkey had ever been generous to them. Some researchers argue that gratitude is behind the motivation to pay it forward. It does seem to be the case in young humans, capuchin monkeys, and more than a few frogs I know!
So do monkeys really feel gratitude? "If you take away the ability to ask people why they are helping, experiments of gratitude in humans look very much like experiments of reciprocity in other species." The tendency to return favors, with gratitude being the driving force behind the action, is strong between both man and beast. When the similarities are this great, it becomes hard to argue that animals don't feel gratitude.
Science and research has come a long way since Darwin first proposed that gratitude may be a universally-experienced emotion. There's still more that can be studied, of course, but it does seem that the human propensity for gratitude does have deep roots. I think it'll be fun, and of great interest to many, to see exactly how deep those roots really go. Empathy, too, is another factor in our shared history. When these traits are discovered in other animals, there is only one conclusion that I think can be reasonably drawn. And that is the goodness of humans goes deep, perhaps back to the very beginning of time.

Do you know someone who is hurting? Perhaps they've suffered a physical injury, or been told they have a serious health issue. Or, maybe, they're going through a rough time emotionally. Whatever their pain, it's sometimes hard to know how to help them. There are times when simply baking a casserole just doesn't seem like it's enough. Here are a few things that you can do to help the person you know who is suffering.
1. Become their wheels. It's often difficult for someone who is injured, sick, or in emotional crisis to get themselves to their various appointments...or even to do simple errands like food shopping. It can mean so much, if they know they can rely on you to be their "wheels." And offer up your services willingly...don't wait for them to ask you.
2.  Break out your special skills.  Do you like to organize things? Are you a closet chef? We all have special skills that others can use. Having a hot meal prepared for them, or getting their house cleaned and organized can go along way towards making your friend's life easier and more pleasant while they deal with their problems...whatever they are.
3.  Email them something uplifting or funny. Most of us spend many hours each day online. So why not put a little of that time to extra good use? Send them a funny video, or an uplifting message/quote every day. You know how laughter is the best medicine...Be the doctor who delivers it!
4.  Just add sequins. A little gift, silly or not, can go along way in cheering up a friend who is in pain. Sometimes, the silliest things can have the most impact. These gifts needn't be a grand gesture, just some small little thing to let them know you're there for them...and that you care! If you've got kiddos around, have them help you with the arts and crafts project. Kids always know what to do with a bottle of glitter and a little glue...
5.  Become the "humane resource" for your co-worker. If it's a co-worker who's struggling, there are a few special ways that you can help them. If your company allows it, donate some of your vacation days so they can stay out longer if they need to. If your company doesn't allow that, then help out with some of her work-related chores, like filing or typing up reports. Helping out with these chores may let her go home on time instead of having to stay late to play "catch up." Another way, is to offer to cook a meal for her family. Just think how wonderful it would be if, when she got home from work, she could put her feet up and relax...or spend time with her kids...instead of worrying about fixing dinner.
6.  Speak up. Tell your friend that you understand and will be their for them. Hearing these words can offer comfort and a little piece of mind during difficult times.
7. Say nothing at all. And then there are times when saying nothing at all, but offering up a shoulder to cry on or a sympathetic ear, is what they need the most.
Everyone goes through difficult time during their life. Be the kind of friend and offer the kind of help that you would want, if the cast was on the other flipper...er, I mean foot. What goes around comes around. And Karma holds true for good things, too, as well as the bad.
Think about what would make you feel loved and cared for, then offer those things to someone who is in pain. You'll never regret it.

As a frog I, of course, like to spend a great deal of time in the water.  I spend my time, normally, in the "shallow end of the pool" so-to-speak. I don't swim out into deep waters and I never dive below the surface...at least not very far below. But this weekend, all that's going to change. A friend is taking me scuba diving! I'm pretty psyched about it, but a little afraid, too. This is a whole new uncharted course for both of us.
There's something exciting about swimming underwater and discovering the unknown. It's quite literally a whole new world! The history of scuba diving goes back a long time, centuries in fact. One of the earliest stories we have about scuba diving dates back to 500 BC when, supposedly, a Greek sailor jumped off a ship and, using a hollowed-out reed to breathe, stayed underwater for several hours. Fast-forward a few centuries and the philosopher Aristotle reported that Alexander the Great found a way to hide under water while the siege of Tyre was taking place. It seemed that Mr. Alexander used a barrel as a diving bell, allowing him to stay submerged. The pressure of the water kept air trapped inside the barrel. This gave him a supply of air while remaining invisible below the water.
After the 1700's, everyone wanted an effective and safe means to breathe under water and there were many attempts at making "rebreathing devices." But it wasn't until the 1940's that the famous Jacques Cousteau, along with engineer Emile Gagnan, created a successful rebreathing device that actually worked. About a decade later, recreational diving became very popular. Soon, nearly everyone wanted to experience exploring the world beneath the water.
In 1966, John Cronin and Ralph Erickson decided that there needed to be a professional organization that would make it easy for anybody to become a competent and skilled diver. And so they created the Professional Association of Diving Instructors, or PADI, as it's known today. Since it was first created, PADI has issued millions of diving certificates world-wide and there are now more than 6,000 Dive Shops and Resorts across the globe. And it is one of those certified shops where my little ducky friend and I will go to rent our gear and learn how to dive before taking the big "plunge."
Even though it's only mid-February, there's a hint of spring in the air. I, for one, am very happy to be getting away this weekend, spending time outdoors, and under the deep blue sea. Scuba diving may be an odd activity for a frog but, then, I'm no ordinary frog. And my rubber ducky friend isn't your average bath duck, either. So, together, we're charting new territories. Whatever your weekend brings, I hope that you have a lot a fun. Perhaps you'll try something new, too, and discover your very own uncharted course.
Whatever you do,  please be safe! I hope to see you all back here on Monday!

Archie Bunker, Frank Costanza, Sophia Petrillo, Arthur Spooner, Fred Sandford, and Oscar the Grouch. What do all these beloved TV characters have in common? They're all grouchy, but we still find it in our hearts to love them.
Webster's Dictionary defines a grouch as "a habitually irritable or complaining person; a grumbler." We all  know a grouch, or two. Maybe it's a co-worker, your boss, a neighbor, even a family member. Perhaps some of us are guilty of being one, at least from time-to-time.  So why am I am writing about grouches today? Because February 16th of each year is National Do A Grouch Day A Favor Day. Even though we may not appreciate the grouches in our lives, we must remember that we don't always know what has caused them to be so unhappy and miserable. There's usually more to their story than we know. And don't we all deserve a little kindness, even those who aren't kind to us in return?
Here are my top five reasons why should be kind to everyone, today and everyday:
 1,  Kindness is inherent. We may choose to be kind but the ability and the tendency towards kindness seem to be inborn in each of us. Children as young as 1 year old can show acts of being kind. Kindness makes us feel good and appears to be part of the human (and frog) experience. Being kind is allowing our true nature to show shine through.
2. Kindness can have a positive effect on the brain.  The effects of being kind can be seen on the neural circuitry of the brain. When we allow ourselves to be kind, regularly engaging in random acts of kindness, new neural pathways are created inside the brain that enhance feelings of well-being and the natural flow of the feel-good endorphins and mood-enhancing neurotransmitters. This may sound a bit like gobbledygook, but just know that when we are are kind, we feel better and our mood is elevated.
3.  Kindness can actually help you live longer. It has been scientifically proven that kindness can help us live a few years more. A 2003 study conducted by Stephanie Brown at the University of Michigan, found that humans "who regularly offered practical help to others had a lower risk of dying over a five-year period than those who did not." I'd take an extra five years...wouldn't you?
4. Kindness is contagious. When we show kindness to others, others become inspired to act in kindness. Multiple university studies have shown that seeing someone else help another person produced good feelings which, subsequently, caused them to reach out and do something altruistic themselves. That grouch you help out today may well benefit from your act of kindness and do something kind for another. It could transform his/her life.
5.  Kindness makes you happier. And who doesn't want to feel happier...well, maybe that grouch in your life. But for the rest of us, happy is what we strive for. Being kind to others, as well as keeping a gratitude journal of the kindnesses that are shown to us, will significantly increase our level of happiness. I feel better already!
Kindness is one of the mot important habits we can cultivate. It is essential for a life lived creatively; one where we remain healthy...physically, mentally, and emotionally. Kindness costs little, if anything, and offers us a huge payback.
How to celebrate today? Do something nice for the grouch in your life, then watch the movies Grumpy Old Men and Grumpier Old men, and use #doagrouchafavorday on all your social media..
                     "No act of Kindness, however small, is ever wasted." ~ Aesop