The fourth Thursday of every June is designated at National Handshake Day. What I like most about the handshake, is that it's pretty much universal. Everybody knows that when you extend your hand, it is a sign of friendship, of brotherhood, and of trust.
Did you know that of all greetings, the handshake is the most ancient? I was surprised to learn that myself!
As a form of non-verbal communication, it may well pre-date written records, making the handshakes's origins hard to pinpoint.  There are many theories, of course, but the one most recorgnized is that it was a way for Roman soldiers, medievil knights, and other men carrying weapons, to check for hidden daggers by grasping each other's forearm in greeting. Archeologists have found statues in ancient Greece that depict two soldiers shaking hands. These statues date back to the 5th century BC. Because women idn't carry weapons, they had no need to shake hands.
Even earlier records, from Egypt, suggest that the handshake had a more powerful meaning; the giving of power. Babylonian records show that kings would take the hand of the gold statue of the god Marduk before taking the throne. This act was repeated annually during the festival of Zagmuk, allowing the king to carry his power over to the next year.
In the US, Brazul, Russia, Australia, and the United Kingdom, the grip of a handshake is generally firm and is accompanied by direct eye contact. While in Asia, the a handshake is done with a much lighter touch and there is never any direct eye contact. In the Phillipines, the grip is light, but with direct eye contact.
Organizations and clubs have long had secret handshakes that are used to identify their members. One of the most famous groups using a secret handshake is the Freemasons.
What is the best way to observe National Handshake Day? By shaking hands, of course! Try to shake the hand of at least one person today that you normally wouldn't. Why not walk up to a stanger, extend your hand, and wish them a good day? It'll make their day, as well as yours.  
​Put it there, friend!

It hardly seems possible, but it's Wednesday again. And after Dharma Frog's very early morning visit last week, I decided that this morning, I'd better get myself up an going before the sun was even awake. And sure enough, Dharma hopped onto my lily pad as soon as it was light. Since the tea was made and scones were warm, all I had to do was sit quiety and listen as he began today's lesson.
Today's lesson was about living with grace an dignity; two values that are often over-looked in today's rushed society. In these modern times, everything is fast, faster, fastest. We've come to to no longer see value in slow and steady.
"Irwin," the wise one began, "the frog who hurries cannot hop with digity. I've noticed, my little one that, lately, you're rushing about and trying to do too much. Are you enjoying yourself? Are you taking the time to expirience all that's going on around you?"
Of course, the answer was a resounding "No." It's true, I have been busier than usual and I am not enjoying all this rushing about. But life is life, and I have things I must do...just as we all must attend to our daily lives. "Well," he continued, "I understand that you're a busy young frog, but that shouldn't stop you from actually enjoying these activites and savoring the expiriences you gain from them."
Dharma went on to explain that dignity simply means knowing that you are worthy of honor and respect. He told me that dignity must be shown to ourselves, before we can show dignity to others. It is difficult to maintain our dignity all the time, but we must strive to conduct our lives with dignity, as best we can, even in the face of fear.
"Grace," said Dharma, "means a simple elegance or refinement of movement. I don't have to remind you, tadpole, that when we hurry, we often bump into things. Sometimes they're small and we can avoid them. But sometimes those bumps are big; illness, death, dispoointments...all things that come with living life. But when we hop with grace, we slow down enough so that those pitfalls aren't as painful. Sometimes we can avoid them altogether. Sometimes, we cannot. And that is where dignity comes into play. Do you understand, little one?" "I think I get it, Dharma," I replied. "What you're saying is that when we hurry, we cannot live our lives with integrity. When we hop around, willy-nilly, we don't take the time to appreciate the little things in life, the things that make life worthwhile.  And when we do "bump" into life's bigger challenges, we don't the time to learn from our hardhips." "That's it exactly, Irwin. Well said," replied the old frog. "Don't be in such a hurry to get where you're going, that you don't enjoy the trip. After all, that's the whole point of life...the journey itself."
Dharma finished his tea and scone. As he prepared to leave, he gave me a smile and said, "Living with grace, dignity, and integrity isn't all there is to life, but they are very important traits and ones that we must work to strengthen. When we learn to conduct ourselves with these traits, life becomes smoother and easier to navigate. Those unexpected bumps that we all encounter, from time to time, don't seem as important. We learn to appreciate what is given to us, even if that "gift" doesn't always meet our own personal expectations."
After I cleaned up from breakfast, I sat and thought a little more about what my dear friend had taught me. I took my to-do list for the day and immediately crossed out a few items. They can wait. Today, i would slow down and do less. Slowing down and doing less isn't easy for most of us. But, in the end, we actually accomplish more this way. Slowing down gives us time to breath and we can enjoy the each of our tasks a little more.

Yesterday,I wrote about the need to develop an action plan. That plan starts off with listing your strengths and weaknesses. So you might be asking, "OK, Irwin, how do I determine what MY strengths and weaknesses are?" Today, I will give you a skill assessment list that will, hopefully, point out where you are doing well, and where you need some work.
Section 1 - Positive thought about yourself

• Acceptence; The ability to accept yourself and your emotions non-judgmentally
• Positive self-views; The ability to see yourself as a good and worthwhile human (or frog)
• Clarity: The ability to understand what you value, how you feel, and who you are.
• Positive reappraisal; The ability to change your thoughts that will help you experience longer-lasting, more intense, or more frequent positive emotion.

Section 2 - Positive thought about others

• Rejection tolerance; (this one's HARD, for me anyway) The ability to perceive the actions of others as inclusive rather than rejecting.
• Emapthy; The ability to put yourself in another's shoes and see the world through their eyes.
• Gratitude; The ability to be thanjful for experiences and people/frogs you have in your life.
• Letting go; The ability to stop fretting and thinking about negative interpersonal situations.

Section 3 - Positive behaviors involving yourself

• ​Planning; The ability to develop effective strategies and take actions that progress you towards your goals.
• Growth mindset; The belief that your strengths can be developed through hard work and dedication.
• Self-care; The ability to resist engaging in unhealthy behaviors to increase happiness.
• Prioritizing positivity; The ability to make time for, and consistently schedule, activities that you enjoy.

Section 4 - Positive behaviors involving others

• Kindness; The ability to be friendly, generous, andconsiderate of others.
• Autonomy; The ability to resist the influence of others, make your own independent decisions, and take action based on your unique values.
• Expressivity; The ability to easily communicate and share intimate aspects of yourself with others.
• Assertiveness; The ability to stand up for yourself, speak up, and communicate your needs.

After you've gone through your lists, find just one skill that is a weakness for you and work on that. If you have more than one weakness (and I think most of us will) try not to improve on too many at a time. Start with one, then move on to the next. Focusing on too many skills all at once will make it difficult to see any improvements. And that gets discouraging.
Once you've decided on which skill to work on, the next step is to schedule a time to practice it. And, of course, it's vey important NOT to skip the practice. You remember what happened when you skipped your piano lesson, right? Nothing. You never learned to play the piano and now you wished you had. So practice, practice, practice.
I hope that you find some, or all, of this helpful. Now that I have my list of skills to work on, it's time for me to hop off....
Wishing you a beautiful and HAPPY day! 

I hope everyone had a great weekend! I know I did. Little Quigley and I had an awesome time camping trip and are already planning next year's adventure.

Because I believe that my subject matter for today's blog is so important, I'm dedicating two days to cover it. I sincerely hope that you'll "stay tuned" for both installments.
Being out in nature makes us all a little bit happier. But sometimes it can be difficult to sustain that feeling, once we return to our real world life. We have lots of daily stressors to contend with and often we lose our joy; that inner sense of happiness. There is a way, however, to become happier and actually stay that way.
Everyone wants more happiness, but it can seem elusive, often slipping through our fingers. I read a report recently that said the key to to increasing happiness is to develope a strategic plan for action! Kind of like you might plan for anything important. You wouldn't bake a cake without a recipe, would you? Or build a home without a blueprint? Increasing happiness needs a "plan of attack." The best way to make a happiness plan is to, first,  focus on the skills that you need to learn. I know what you're probably thinking...and, yes, there are happiness skills that you CAN learn. You probably already have a few of these skills; those that you can use as your plan's foundation. As an example, you might be good with gratitude (put this in the "I'm Already Good at This" column) but not with empathy. Empathy then goes in the "Needs Impovement" column.Go through all the things that are necessary for true happiness. Pretty soon, you'll have your strengths and weaknesses laid out. Then you'll clearly see what areas need your attention. You will become more empathetic by practicing emapthy. Hey, you didn't learn to walk by staying on all fours, did you? NO! You got up and fell down a bunch of times before you got it right. And you had help, too, no doubt. So, like learning to walk, practice being empathetic. If you know someone who excels at this, ask them to be your coach.
We are all good at some things, but need work in others; that's true in just about every aspect of life; from parenting, to our careers, to sports, etc. By turning your happiness weaknessess into strength, you then have more skills and thus can enjoy more happiness!
The field of learning science shows that personalized learning approaches far exceed those that are one-size-fits-all. That's why you need your very own personalized happiness plan. You wouldn't go to the gyn ad ask the person next to them what fitness plan they use, would you? Chances are their fitness goals aren't the same as yours. They have strengths, and weaknessness, that you don't share. We all do bestter with plans that are designed with us in mind. happiness isn't any different.
Tomorrow I'll talk about how to discover your happiness strengths and weaknesses. See you then!

The weekend is finally here and this week, I'm more excited than usual. About this same time every year, I take my little brother Quigley on camping trip. It's a great time for us to bond with important on-on-one time together. As frogs, we naturally love to spend time in nature, so our annual camping trip is one we look forward to all year long.
As I do every year, I'll go out a day early and find us the perfect spot. Tomorrow, Quigley and I will return with all of our gear and settle in for the weekend. There's lots hard work, of course, getting the campsite ready, but then we have fun hiking, swimming and making "worm'mores" over the campfire. When the trip is over, I notice how much better, more exhilerated, I feel. Quigley, too. So I decided to check and see if there were real health benefits to camping...and indeed there are!
There's no doubt that losing yourself, and your cellphone service, in the woods gives us a sense of peace and calm...a real modern-day Ralph Waldo Emerson-type of experience. As we all know, too much tech is not good for our mental and physical well-being. It can lead to increase anxiety, which means more stress, and even some physical problems,like a very real pain in th neck, if you will. When you're forced to ditch the smartphone and tablet, your mind and body will thank you. And did you know that camping can help you sleep better? Research done in 2013 at the University of Boulder (appropriate name, don't you think?) shows that when we keep our schedules aligned with that of the sun, and away from artificial light, we can reset our cardiac rhythms, causing us to feel less groggy. Additionally, being surrounded by nature, helps to improve our mood. We feel happier and more contented. It gives us the opportunity to watch the sun ris and witness the majesty of the night sky. 
Frogs, really all creatures, I think, are wired for wonder. We feel compelled to witness all the beautiful things that inspire awe in us. What better place to find that, then communing with nature?Science believes that awe-inspiring moments make us happier and more inventive...a most pleasurable remedy for our creative rut. 
Need to lose a little weight? Camping (ok all physical activity) can help us burn calories. When we're active, ldoing things ike hiking and pitching the tent, we burn calories and have fewer tempemptations to nibble beteen meals. (An extra plus is that there are no fast food joints out there in the woods.) It seems that "happy trails" really can, and do, make us feel happier.
And, finally, camping gives us a picture-perfect way to connect with the things that are truly important; nature and spending quality time with friends and family.
​

June 23rd is designated at National Pink Day. This is the day set aside each year to celebrate the color pink and all that it comes to represent.
Pink was first used in the 1700's as name for a pale shade of red. In both the US and Europe, pink mixed with either white, or light blue, is thought to convey feminity, childhood, tenderness, and romance. Dating back to the 14th century, "to pink" has meant ' to decorate with a perforated or punched design.'  Seamestresses and tailors often use pinking shears to finish off the raw edges of garments.
During the Middle Ages pink was used, only occaisionally, for women's fashions or religious art. In the 13th and 14th centuries, the Christ child was quite often portrayed dressed in pink; the color used to portray the body of Christ. (I'll need to check that out the next time I'm at an art museum!) During the Renaissance Period, pink was most commonly used by artists for hands and faces.
The color pink hit its stride in the Rococo Period (1720-1777) when pastel colors gained favor with the courts of Europe. Madame Pompadour was known to favor the color pink and wore it frequently for her clothing. It was usually mixed with a shade of pale blue. Ms. Pompadour so loved the color pink that she had a special shade of the color made especially for her.
In the 19th century, men's military uniforms were red. And since boys were considered to be small men, they were given a pink ribbon to put on their uniform. Moving ahead to the 20th century, pink took on a bolder look; in 1931 the color shocking pink was introduced.
Pink is one of the most common clors for flowers. It attracts birds and insects that are necessary for pollination.
Pink is used in many common phrases. How many of these do you know (and use)?

• In the pink - To be in good health; rosy cheeked
• To see pink elephants - To hallucinate, mostly from too much alcohol
• Pink slip - "Your Fired!" The term pink slip is most commonly used in business to be mean dismissed, or fired, from your job. The use of this term was first recorded in 1915, in the US.
• Pink collar worker - Persons employed in positions commonly though of as "women's work." Secretaries, nurses, and retail workers fell into this category (Thankfully, not so much anymore!)
• Pink money - The pink dollar or pink pound is an economic term used to refer to the spending power of the LGBT community.
• Tickled pink - To be extremely pleased

One of the best ways to observe National Pink Day is to donate to one of the charities that uses the color pink. You may also choose to celebrate by eating and drinking pink food and beverages. Or, perhaps, you might want to pick up a bouquest of pink flowers to enjoy, or to to give to someone special. But the easiest way to celebrate this awesome day is to just wear the color pink. And guys, real mean do wear wear pink...​

My wise and dear friend, the Dharma Frog, showed up at my lily pad  this morning before I was even out of bed. As Dharma waited patiently for me to pull myself together, he put the kettle on for our breakfast tea. By the time the kettle started whistling, I was dressed and ready for our usual Wednesday morning lesson.
After a few sips of tea, the Dharm Frog began to speak, "Irwin, I've notice that, recently, you're getting a bit angry, more stressed, and appear to be less happy. Are you being forgiving of others and their transgressions against you?" I was embarrassed to tell him, but the cold hard truth is that, no. I haven't been as forgiving of others as I know I should be. I have been allowing my ego and my emotions to rule my heart. But, he was expecting an answer, so I sheepishly said, "No, Sir. I haven't been as forgiving as you've taught me to be."
Dharma, didn't look at me, but continued to sip his tea. Finally, he said, "I'm disappointed, my boy, but I forgive you." That made my guilt ALL the worse! But Dharma being Dharma made me feel better by saying that if I can learn to forgive others, not only will I feel better psychologically, but also physically, as well. He went on to explain that not being able to forgive others, leads to stress and we alll understand the harm stress can do.
Knowing how much I like scientific facts, The Wise One, stated that current research demonstrated that the single act of forgiveness can virtually eliminate the conection between stress and good mental health. I was impressed! He went on to say that if we frogs, and humans too, don't have forgiving tendencies, then we are more likely to feel the "raw effects" of stress. Forgiveness offers us a buffering system against the damaging effects of stress. It seems, according to the research, that being forgiving helps us develop better coping skills to deal with what we perceive as the transgressions others heap upon us daily.
"So how can I learn to be 100% forgiving?" I asked Dharma. It didn't take long for him to answer. "Irwin, all you do is have to ask for it. Saying a brief prayer, or doing a short meditation on forgiveness, will usually take the edge off the situation long enough for you to think about why this "transgression" is affecting you. The faults we see in others, Tadpole, are usually our own faults reflecting back at us." What you give, you also receive; I've heard that before, but never really believed it, until now.  "So'" I asked, "If I can forgive others for their mistakes, then I will be forgiven for my own mistakes?" Dharma smiled and nodded in agreement. 
As my dear friend and teacher prepared to leave, it became painfully aware to me that I had much to learn and much work to do. Life isn't easy. But it's difficult for a reason. We all have flaws and faults. Learning to accept them im ourself, and others, is one of the most important lessons we can learn during our time on earth. Life lessons, although painful to endure, ultimately lead us to a better place in our minds and hearts. And that makes us feel physically better, too.
I'm not always eager to put in the work; it's far more fun to go swimming or look for worms, but in the end, what I learn makes me happier than the external pleasures I often seek instead.  I will try working on my forgiveness. I need less stress. Perhaps the Dharma Frog's message and advice will work for you, too. I hope so.
​I wish you a peaceful and forgiving day.​

"I believe a leaf a leaf of grass is no less than the journey-work of the stars." These thought-provoking words were written by Walt Whitman, an American poet, essayist, and journalist.  Mr. Whitman's writing was considered controversial for its time, thankfully, not so much these days. We've come to see the beauty and importance of his writings. He is thought to be a humanist, a thoughtful blend of transcendentalism and realism. So, you might be asking yourself, "Why is Irwin writing about a long-dead poet?" The answer is, honestly, I don't really know. I recently reread Mr. Whitman's extraordinary book collection of poetry, "Leave of Grass," and it gave me pause to think about my tiny self in relation to the universe.
We all like to think of ourselves as important, myself included but, in reality, are any of us more important than the person (or frog) sitting next to us? I don't think we are. And if that's true, and everyone/everything is equally important, than doesn't the basic meaning of the word "important" get lost? That's my point exactly...and, I believe,is the point Mr. Whitman was trying to make in his stirring poem, "Song of Myself." Everything/everyone is important and serves a purpose, all the way from the single blade of grass and tiniest bug, to the great and infinite cosmos. Take me, for example. I eat bugs to survive. That's how I was designed. But even though I eat bugs (and I do enjoy eating them) that doesn't preclude me from seeing that those bugs are important and are serving their purpose. I am grateful for them. And I try to remember to give thanks for them before snapping out my tongue and snatching them mid-flight.
No matter how big, or small we are, we are all here for a purpose. That's just the way it is. The faster we learn this, and truly embrace it, the kinder, gentler, more compassionate we wecome. We soon see that the little boy in deepest Africa, the rice farmer in China, and the techno-guru living next door are all one-and-the-same and are all equally important. 
Today in the first full-day of summer...traditionally a time of fun and recreation. But I challenge you, over the next couple of months, to think about everyone you come in contact with...just briefly...and try to see them as  someone beautiful and important. Even the road-rage guy who may flip you off in traffic this afternoon. And when you sit down for meals, think about the food you're eating. Give thanks to the farmer who raised it, the soil that lovingly cradled the seed, and for the rain that quenched its thirst. And if you eat meat, thank the animal for its life. We truly are inter-dependent on one another.
It's easy to get caught up in the "me, myself, and I" school of thougt and that's why it's so important to take time each and every day to fully appreciate the universe, and to ralize that we are no more important than that simple "leaf of grass" that Walt Whitman wrote about over 160 years ago.

Summer's almost officially here and what better way to celebrate than with National Ice Cream Soda Day! These tasty cold beverages can be made from just about any carbonated soft drink; all you need to do is add a scope of your favorite ice cream. Did you know that ice cream sodas have a long and proud history? 
Robert McCay Green, from Philadelphia, PA invented the drink way back in 1874, during the sesquecentennial (150 years) celebration of the Frankin Institute. The Soda Fountain Magazine (yep, there really was one of those) published an article in 1910, written by Green himself, giving his account of how the ice cream soda came to be.
In the article,Mr. Green stated that he wanted to create a new treate, one that would lure customers away from his competitor who had a bigger and fancier soda fountain. He did a little experimenting and decided to add ice cream to soda water. Since it worked out really well, during the sesquecentennial, he offered vanilla ice cream mixed with plain soda water and a choice of 16 flavored syrups. It was a huge success! Not long after, other soda fountains began serving ice cream floats. There are at least three other claimants to the invention of the ice cream soda, including one of Green's own employees.
The icy cold beverage became very popular, especially with young adults. Teen movies from the 1950's and 60's often portray groups of high school students meeting up at the soda fountain after school, often sharing a malt or ice cream soda. The soda fountain of yesteryear was the equivalent of today's mall; the teenager's first choice to hang out with their friends. 
According to early accounts, the beverage was so popular that some governments either ban it entirely, or at least on holy days. In the early days, carbonated drinks were marketed as as "miracle cures" and often required oversight and control, like alcohol and and other controlled substances, and could not be sold on Sundays. Looking for a new way to make a profit on Sundays, owners of the soda fountains began serving ice cream with a syrup topping. These were considered food products and were not controlled substances. Soda fountains coined the term "Sundaes" for their new concoctions that they served on 'soda's day of rest.'
There are many regional variations, and names, for ice cream sodas. Some of the most popular are: the always-tasty chocolate ice crea soda, the root beer float (also known as a brown cow, or a brown toad in Lily Pad), Coke float (or black cow), Boston Cooler (ginger ale and vanilla ice cream), Butterbeer (cream soda and butterscotch ice cream) and the Snow White (Sprite and vanilla ice cream).
Here are a few favorites from around the world:
The Snow White has become very popular in many Asian eateries; Vaca Preta- Brazil and Portugal's version of a Coke float, is the Vaca Dourada (golden cow) - Brazilians mix vanilla ice cream with guarana soda;  and the Helato Flotante - A Mexican drink of Coke and lemon sherbert.
Robert McCay Green's final instructed that the words "Originator of the Ice Cream Soda" be engraved on his tombstone.
No matter how you make 'em, ice cream sodas are a stable during the summer. And since today is National Ice Cream Soda Day, why not invent your own special flavor? I'm thinking of mixing a lemon/lime soda with pistachio ice cream, and adding a drop or two of green food coloring. I'l call it the Little Green Frog. Think it'll catch on?

Today I will finish telling you the story of stories; how reading, or watching, a good story can affect us. Not only are we drawn into the characters and the plot line with our imagination, we also come to feel the story, at our gut-level.
Afer the story reels us in, our fates become intertwined with those of the characters that we now have an emotional connection with. If the story has a happy ending, it will trigger our limbic system. This is the body's reward center. Dopamine will get released and we feel will happy, too. Perhaps even optimistic. We begin to eperience the same feelings and emotions as the characters. This is the big reason why stories based on real life ressonate so deeply with us. I mean, who doesn't love a good Horatio Alger or underdog story. We love anything that gives us hope!
Stories bring us together. We crave them and they make transportation pleasurable.(See yesterday's blog for a short definititon of this phenomenon.) The short reason for this is that we need to know how to solve problems. Nature endows us with the instinct to survive and prosper. Stories give us an entertaining way to learn about problems and how to solve them. They teach us how to live. But science is showing that there may be another, equally important reason: stories increase our real-life empathetic skills. When we become empathetic with the story's character, we can transfer that empathy to the rest of our life; negotiating a deal, sizing up a potential enemy or threat, and discovering what our partner, or best friend, may want or need. As it turns out, even our modern day stories make us adaptive, in evolutioary terms. We can enjoy the story but also learn important survival skills in the process.
Research states that hearing a story has much more impact on us than that having the facts stated to us. As an example, on study shows that when struggling science students were told stories about the struggles of famous scientists, their grades improved. Stories trigger neurochemical processes within the brain that that make certain kinds of resource-sharing possible. This biological change can lead to important behavioral changes including costly acts of "altruism." It seems that the more cortisol and oxytocin a story causes us to release, the more charitable we become! This is the SAME neurochemical process that occurs when we hear a good fundraising pitch and inspires people to mobilize large-scale support for things like political campaigns, building a library, or improving a college. Stories enable us to form relationships with strangers and ask them to make donations, small sacrifices, for something greater than ourselves. Governments do this, in large part, when they ask us for tax money!
But, as you know, storys can also have a dark side. A sudden spike in cortisol can make us aggressive. It's the first half of the fight-or-flight response that we hear so much about. Simply put, stories form groups; a proccess enabled by oxytocin. It's no wonder, then, that stories like Harry Potter, Star Wars, and Lord of the Rings cause fans to form communities; good versus evil. But stories carry us towards ideals that can be destructive. Stories are a form of power over our bodies; and it's a power that we can use, or misuse.
A lot of psychotheapy these days involves getting clients to listen to the stories they tell themselves, then feeling the sensations and emotions that those stories evoke; is the story I'm telling myself allowing me to grow and flourish, or is it deprimental to my wellbeing? But just as importantly, we need to look at how our stories impact others. Are we using our power to help lift people up...or tro drag them down? Do we communicate things that make us feel good about who we are, or do they make us feel worse? Words are powerful. Stories bring us together, but they can also tear us apart. Gossip is a form of negative storytelling.
Stories can bring us joy and they can incite hatred. We are all born with the power to tell stories, even us frogs. Starting today, begin to notice the stories you tell; not only to yourself, but to others, as well. What messages are you sending? We hear enough negative stories on the daily news. Perhaps it's time that we, the citizens of the world, start telling ourselves more good and uplifting stories. Who knows? In time, and if enough of us join in, the nightly news won't have anything bad to report. And wouldn't that be a story with a happy ending!