It almost here; the end of 2016 and, for most of us that means a chorus or two of Old Lang Syne, a toast a midmight and, of course, those obligatory New Year's Resolutions. We all make them but few of us rarely keep them more than a few days, a month or two at most, before falling back into our old habits. Where did the habit of making resolutions come from? I did a little research and found some facts about resolutions that I sure didn' know.
It's pretty common practice for us these days, come the New Year, to resolve to change and improve ourselves. But did you know that the ancient Babylonians, some 4000 years ago, are thought to be the first people to make New Year's resolutions?  They were also the first to hold recorded celebrations in honor of the new year. For them, the new year began in March, not January, and coincide when the crops were planted. It was a massive 12-day celebration known as Akitu during which time the new king of Babylon was crowned, or the reigning king was reaffirmed. They made promises to the gods to pay their debts and to return any objects that they borrowed. Sounds kind of familiar, doesn't it? If the Babylonians kept their word, the pagen gods would bestow favors on them during the coming year. And if they didn't? They'd fall out of favor with the gods and that's not a place anyone wanted to be!
In ancient Rome, a similar practice occurred when emperor Julius Caesar tinkered with the calendar and made January 1st the official start of the new year in 46 BC. January, named for the god Janus, a two-faced god who spirit inhabited doorways and arches, had a special meaning for the Romans. They believed that Janus could look back at the old year as well as look ahead into the future. Early Romans made sacrifices to this deity and made promises to him of good conduct for the coming year. 
Fast-forward to the early Christains and we learn that January 1st was, tradtionally, a day for thinking about one's past mistakes and resolving to do better. and be better, in the future. John Wesley, the English clergyman and founder of the Methodism,  created the Covenant Renewal Service in 1740. It was most often held on New Year's Eve or New Year's Day. Hymns were sung and scriptures were read, giving a religious alternative to the typical raucaus celebrations commonly held.
Despite it's religious roots, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day celebrations have become mostly a secular practice. Now, in stead of making promises to the gods, humans (and frogs, too) make promises to themselves. It is believed that 45% of humans make New Year's resolutions while only 8% are successful at achieving their goals. The numbers aren't much better in the amphibian world, either. But these dismal numbers don't stop us from continuing the tradition of making New Year's Eve resolutions. I mean, after all, it's a practice that has effectively been around for 4000 years! So why stop now?
I wish all the best to each of you in 2017. As for me, I am resolving to write better blogs, to remain steadfast in my search for my true self, and to look for peace and joy from within...and not expect that it will come from others. I think I've grown a lot over this past year and my biggest wish, for all of you is that, together, we can continue to work towards making our planet a kind, safe, compassionate, and caring place for every single living thing. I hope to see you all back here on Tuesday, January 3rd.
Until, I wish you peace. And please stay safe, no matter what you do or where you go this holiday weekend! ​

"Every dark cloud has a silver lining." I bet we've all hear that saying hundreds of times, especially when we've share our struggles with a friend or family member. We're told to look for the good in every situation, no matter how dire it may seem at the time. But is it always a good idea to look for that proverbial silver lining? Research show that sometimes it's good and other times, not so much.
It's called "cognitive reappraisal" when something makes us feel bad and we re-tell ourselves the story in a way that makes it feel less painful; looking for that silver lining. For a long time, this approach has been thought to be a healthy way to cope. Recently, that idea has changed. A new study suggests that this "silver lining" attitude might be helpful in some situations and, in others, can actually be detrimental. Cognitive reappraisal moderates our emotions but doesn't actually change the situation. itself. But what if that bad situation...stressful job, unfulfilling relationship, the unhealthy habits...could be improved? In those situations, cognitive reappraisal might reduce our motivation to make the necessary changes we long for. Previous research has shown that those of us who are skilled at cognitive reappraisal are less depressed, but  only if the stressors in our lives are controllable. Not surprising, a recent study revealed, was that people who have a greater sense of well-being; ie, higher self-esteem and less depression, tended to use cognitive reappraisal more in situations that were uncontrollable rather than in the ones that weren; they strive to always make things better. As the well-being scores decreased in that study, however, that pattern flipped.
“'When a situation can be directly changed, reappraisal may undermine the adaptive function of emotions in motivating action,' the researchers write. If managing our emotions becomes a substitute for taking action toward a better life—for ourselves or for others—it isn’t doing us any good. Negative emotions shouldn’t always be reasoned away; they can provide the indication and the fuel to make a change." So, it seems, that if you're feeling unhealthy or out of shape, it's better to change your eating habits...or go to the gym...than to tell yourself that it's just the way it is, or it's your genetic fate, etc.
There is no one-size-fits-all advice regarding the silver lining approach to happiness. I guess the best way to sum it up would be that cultivating happiness probably requires flexibility.  There are multiple techniques to use. The skill is in knowing which one to use when. I still believe that living in the moment...mindfulness...is the best way to cope with a bad situation; if it can be changed, then do it. Otherwise, ride it out and know that it won't last forever, even when it seems it will. Life is a series of ups and downs. We may not like our "downs" but they are a fact of life. I have found that accepting "what is" is the best way to move through any negative circumstances. Live is ever-evolving and so are we. And that is the best silver lining of all!
I hope you'll join me back here tomorrow for a look at The History of the New Year's Resolution. Until then, I wish you a peaceful day.

It's the last Wednesday of 2016 and, as I suspected, the Dharma Frog had a very important lesson to teach today. It was about character. This isn't something that we spend a lot time thinking about but, as Dharma pointed out, "A frog's character is a victory, not a gift." And it's something we should never take for granted.
What is character? We all have it. Some of us have good character, while others have questionable character. Often, we refer to someone with a flamboyant, or odd, personality as "a real character."  Webster's dictionary defines character; "The complex mental and ethical traits marking and often individualizing a person, group, or nation." Dharma explained to me that no one is born with good character; it's not a hereditary trait. Character, he added, isn't determined by a single noble act, either. Character is, then, established by conscientious adherence to to moral values...not by lofty words or good intentions.  Dharma believes that character is ethics in action. Character is evidenced by your life's virtues and it's the "line you never cross." My wise teacher expands on this to say that character is the most valuable thing we have and nobody can ever take it away...unless we allow it. Character in life is what makes people (and frogs, too) believe in you. It is essential for individual success, as well as for all of society to flourish. Good character equals integrity. Integirty means adhering to a moral code of honesty, courage, strength, and truthfulness. When we don't exhibit integrity, others get hurt...but we hurt ourselves even more.  
Dharma explained to me why character isn't a gift; it's not given to us and we don't inherit it. How, then, is character a victory, I wondered?  Dharma descibed it this way; "A frog's character and a human's , too...whether good or bad, is determined by the path we choose to take. But there are evil forces in the world that will try to lead us astray, Irwin. It's a tough battle and gets tougher as time goes on.  But the way we treat others, especially the ones whom we think can't hurt us, like clerks in the store, secretaries, or the trash man, tell more about our character than how we treat the people we think are important. Thus, Tadpole, character is both formed, and revealed, by how one deals with everyday situations, as well as extraordinary pressures and temptations. We must battle both the outer, as well as our own inner demons all the time. It takes courage and strength to win each battle. Are you able to see now how maintaining a good character, Irwin, is a victory?" It was all becoming crytal clear to me.  
When my lesson was over, as I watched Dharma frog hop away, I gave thought to what my wise teacher had said. I know, now, that character counts everywhere; not simply when we're being observed by others. Good character is, I think, truly formed and solidified when we behave well while no one is watching. The good character of us all, is what will propel the world ahead in a positive way. With so many tempations and evil forces all vying for our attention, it becomes important to be ever-vigilant. We as individuals can win our own small battles, but it will take the good character of society at-large, to win the war.

Pulitzer Prize winner and poet, Mary Oliver, once said, "The most regretful people on earth are those you felt the call to creative work, who felt their own creative power restive and uprising, and gave it neither power nor time." Over the past century, a lot has been written on the theory of how creativity works and what it takes to master it. Yet, with its innermost nature, the call of creativity can be as difficult to hear as it is to answer.
David Bohm, the trailblazing physicist, explored these questions in his 1968 essay, On Creativity . Mr. Bohms's previously unpublished writings on art, science, and orginality, is now available fo all of to read, edited by Lee Nichol. Bohm who had an affinity for art for over 45 years says that both art and science aim at "a certain oneness and totality, or wholeness, constituting a kind of harmony that is felt to be beautiful." Anyone who has ever undertaken a creative venture, even as simple as baking, know that these words are true. There is real joy in the creative process. Mr. Bohm wrote, "The artist, composer, the architect, the scientist all feel the fundamental need to discover and create something new that is whole and total, harmonious and beautiful."  Few of us ever get the chance to try this and, fewer still, ever manage to do actually do it. What we are learning from recent research and studies into creativity is that, deep down, it is probably what very large numbers of people (from all walks of life) are seeking when they attempt to escape their hum-drum daily routine when they engage in various forms of entertainment, thrill-seeking excitement, or even when they change their occupation. All of these activities lead us to an unsatisfying life that remains "narrow and mechanicalness in it' nature." Bohm goes on to tell us that "creativity isn't a matter of mere talent, for there are a tremendous numbers of highly talented people who remain mediocre." Refering to Einstein. Bolm writes. "He possessed something greater than mere talent, for he had a number of contempraries who knew more about physics and were better skilled in mathematics than he himself." What Einstein possessed that made him stand out, I mean besides his wild hairdo, was his orginality. Bohm believed that orginality is the key to creativity.
What is meant by orginality? He explained it this way, "One prerequisite for originality is clearly that a person shall not be inclined to impose his preconceptions on the fact as he seems them. Rather, he must be able to learn something new, even if this means that the ideas and notions that are comfortable or dear to him may be overturned." Elizabeth Gilbert has a rather interesting term for this orientation of the mind. She called it "the state of uninterrupted marvel." Bohm believes that we are all born with it. We can see this with a child who is learning to walk. He tries out different ways of moving about, to see what happens. Then, modifies what he does (or thinks) in accordance to what actually happened. Walking, then, becomes a creaive process; much like a scientific experiment!
According to Bohm, "The nature of originality requires a lively attentiveness to the new and different." This is why pioneers in any given field often end up creating entirely new fields that didn't previously exist; often at great personal expense. Now beloved painter, Vincent van Gogh, comes to mind. He suffered for his art. He refused to give up. He persevered  and, in the end, created something new, different, fresh, and truly original.
Bohm cautions us that creativity is predicated on rising above our mechanical reactions, which are conditioned by society and by habitual forms of thought. Today's cultural climate is one that is dominated by  reaction, rather than creative thought.  Otto Scharmer, senior lecturer at the Sloan School of Management at MIT in Cambridge, Massachusetts has been preaching this similar idea for years. Scharmer believes that we cannot continue to solve the world's probblems by using the same solutions we have in the past; not if we want to see new and better results.
"The times they are a changin'" Bob Dylan told us back in 1964 and it's even truer now. The times we live in require each of us to utilize our innate create power to find new, original, and creative solutions for the problems we all face going forward. 

 Can you believe it? It's almost Christmas. This holiday season has flown by for me. How about you? As promised, today we'll be taking a look at the History of Christmas Trees.
Always a holiday favorite, beautifully decorated trees abound everwhere her in Land of Lily Pad. There are great big trees in the public park and in department store indows...and small little ones that fit nicely on a lily pad. But big or small...it wouldn't be Christmas, for any of us, without the glorious Christmas tree.
Long before Christianity, plants and trees that remained green all year around had a special significance. We traditionally hang boughs of pine, spruce, or fir strees around our homes this time of year, along with our Christmas tree. In ancient times, boughs of evergreens were hung over doors and windows. It was believed that these green branches would keep away evil spirits. Ancient peoples celebrated the winter soltice because it meant that the last sun god would begin to get well. Evergrees signified that plants would grow again and the sun god would be, once again, strong (summertime). The ancient Egyptians and early Romans had similar beliefs and winter soltice celebrations. In northern Europe the mysterious Druids decorated their temples with evergreen boughs as a symbol of everlasting life.
Germany is credited with starting the Christmas tree tradition, as we now know it, back in the 16th century when devout Christians brought decorated trees into their homes.  Some built pyramids out of wood and decorated them with evergreen boughs and candles, if wood was scarce. Martin Luther, the 16th century Protestant reformer. was the first to place candles on a tree...replicating the image of stars twinkling through the evergreen tree branches. 
​Most 19th century Amricans found Christmas trees an oddity. The first publicaly-displayed Christmas tree is on record in Pennsylvania. The German settlements in Pennsylvania had community Christmas trees as early as 1747. Even as recently as the 1840's, Christmas trees were seen as pagan symbols and not accepted by most Americans. It's not surprising really, that Christmas trees, like many other holiday traditions, were slow to be adopted in the States. To the New England Puritans, Christmas was sacred. The Pilgrims's second governor, William Bradford, tried to stamp out "pagan mockery"  of the Christmas observance, and penalized any and all frivolity.  Oliver Cromwell preached again the heathen tradition of singing Christmas carols, decorated trees, and joyful expressions of the season.  In 1659, the general court of Massachusetts passed a law than strictly prohibited, and peanlized, any observance of December 25th that wasn't a church service. That strictly religious observance of Christmas day hung on until the 19th century when the influx of German immigrants undermined the old Puritan legacy. 
In 1846 the popular royals, Queen Victoria and her German Prince Albert, were sketched in the illustrated London News, standing around their decorated Christmas tree. Because Queen Victoria was so popular that whatever was fashionable at court, immediately caught on with her subjects...not only in Great Britain, but also along the eastern coast of America.  The Christmas tree had "officially" arrived.  By the 1890's beautiful ornaments from Germant began arriving in the States and the rise in popularity of the Christmas tree really took off. Europeans tended to prefer small trees, around 4 feet or so, while Americans liked their trees to be tall...reaching from floor to ceiling.
The early 20th century saw most trees in America being decorated with handmade ornaments. German-Americans still used apples, nuts, and marzipan cookies. Popcorn was added, but was dyed bright colors and interlaced with berries and nuts. As their popularity rose, Christmas trees began appearing in town squares all across the US.
And the rest, as they say, is  (recent) history...
I hope you've had as much fun as I have, learning the history all the festive holiday traditions that we associate with Christmas. I'm taking a few days off to spend time with my family and friends. I'll be back here on Tuesday, December 27th with another interesting blog. 
Until then, my Christmas wish for  for all of us is Peace on Earth.     Merry Christmas, y'all!

Today is National ReGift Day which begs the question, "Should I re-gift...or not?"  We've all received gifts, I'm sure, that were not eaxtly "Our cup of tea."  These unwanted, unusuable presents stack up in closets and attics everywhere. collecting dust and taking up space. As an example, a well-meaning friend recently gave me a pair of swim fins. Really, swim fins? It was a lovely thought, but it's not an item that I need or will ever use. So, do I give those swim fins to someone else...someone who isn't a frog, perhaps? Or do I just keep them for an appropriate length of time, then give them to the secondhand store? Or do I simply toss them out? As it turns out, regifting is allowed, but only if you follow certain rules.
Most of us feel guilty if we regift but, according to the Wall Street Journal, this once social taboo is gradually gaining acceptance. One, simple solution to the whole re-gifting question might be for the gift-giver to encourage the gift-receiver​ to use the gift as they please. One study went so far as to say that the gift-giver should tell the receiver that it's perfectly fine if they should want to regift the present. Another study suggests that regifting should be based on the relationship between giver and receiver. Why? Because the gifts chosen by loved ones, or close friends, have a different significance than those given by acquaintances.  Regifting presents from close friends/family tends to have a more negative connotation than regifting the presents received from those folks we don't know as well.
I checked with the website, regiftable.com and found a few rules of etiquette  for regifting than should help cut back on your guilt, as well as the hurt feelings of others.
1. Is the gift regiftable? You never regift handmade or one-of-a-kind items. Signed books and monogrammed anything are definitely off-limits. And, of course, you never regift free or promotional items. A few of the items on the acceptable list include: Unopened bottles of wine, new household gadgets or items, and inexpensive jewelry.
2.  How is the condition? Only regift new, unopened gifts in good contition. Never regift partially-used gift cards. And don't regift items that you've had for a long time. The general rule of thumb is, if you have to dust it off then it's not regiftable.
3.  Is this going to work? Regifters must use common sense. Be very certain you know who gave you the item so you don't inadvertently regift it back to them. And only regift items you're sure will never be seen by the original giver.
4.  Do you have good intentions? Don't regift just to give a gift; that's probably how YOU ended up with said item in the first place. Be sure that the new recipient will appreciate the item. It you feel the item is undesirable, then the new receiver probably will, too....unless you happen to know for a fact that the recipient is dying to have whatever it is you want to "unload." If you're regifting simply because you ran out of time, it's better to go out and purchase a gift card than to regift one of your preseents.
5.   How does it look? When it comes to gift-giving, go for show!  While it maybe alright to reuse gift bags that are in excellent (like new) condition, it's never a good idea to reuse wrapping paper. Always spring for a new card or gift tag, as well.
6.   Can you handle it? If you aren't going to announce to the receiver that you're regifting, can you handle the secret? Never feel guilty about regifting, once you've decided you're going to do it. And lastly...
7.   Have you considered your options?  Regifting or throwing out that unwanted present aren't your only choices. An unwelcomd gift might be a welcomed donation to a charitable organization. It's also an option to "suck it up" and keep the present. It was, after all, a gift.

I hope these helpful rules will make it easier for you to decide whether or not to regift this holiday season. As for me, I've decided not to regift my swim fins, but to donate them to the local YMCA where they will be used to help a child learn to swim. 
Have a wonderful day and I hope to see you back here tomorrow!

As it is on many Wednesdays, the Dharma Frog's lesson was on gratitude. But today, it was a little different. The mesage was this: "Gratitude is a frog's memory of the heart."
Memories of good experiences...those thoughts that warm us from the inide out and bring a smile to our faces...those are the memories of the heart. And those are the things that we are most often grateful for.
My wise teacher explained to me that gratitude is a simple act of personal liberation; it means activity with humility and without deceit. It also means learning to value what's truly important. Gatitude has four pillars; the cornerstones of our personal joy and happiness.
The first pillar is: Emotional Openess. Many humans, and frogs, too, find it difficult to say thank you. It's almost as if we think it makes us seem weak or vulnerable. Yet we've all come to expect a thank you for the things we do even though we, ourselves, find it difficult to say. But  hat we're really looking for aren't shallow words but, rather, we want to be recognized; for the other person to understand that we care. And that we've invested not only our time, but our emotions as well. To practice gratitude, we must be willing to open up emotionally. It's the only way we can really learn about ourselve and others, with an honst, strong, and qn active heart.
The second pillar is  this: Gratitude and Recognition are Gifts. There aren't many values that are stronger than recognizing the people around us through gratitude. It's a universal form of appreciation.  Gratitude helps us create bonds, or unions, with others. It says to them, "I appreciate you for who you are and I thank you for being a part of, and enriching, my life. The next pillar is: Being Grateful is Not Being Indebted. Just because someone does something nice for you, it doesn't mean that you have to immediately turn around and reciprocate. You are not indebted to the giver. If the giver believes that you are, then they didn't give with a pure heart.  Gratitude is an attiude that doesn't push obligations. Gratitude is a way of being, of living, that must transcend all other actions. That being said, even though we don't expect anything in return for our generosity, we do expect to be recognized.  Giving with a true heart should be mirrored by receiving with a pure heart. Giving and receiving creates a bond between the two individuals. The fourth, and last, pillar is: Recognizing the Importance of Personal Gratitude. It can seem like we spend half our life thanking others for their generosity, but when was the last time that you thanked yourself? It may seem silly, selfish, and a waste of time to thank ourselves for all that we do, but it's really not. When we are nice to ourselves; when we eat right, get enough sleep, and when we actually get ourselves to the gym...these are all really good reason to offer ourselves a personal thank you. The next time you do something good, or nice, for yourself, rememer to say "Thanks. You're appreciated!" And really mean it. Showing gratitude to ourselves can boost our self-esteem. Self-recogition crosses no boundaries.
So how about we all decide, right here and right now; 1. To act in a more humble manner; 2. To value the simple things we have; 3. To cherish our relationhips, and 4. To value that cool breeze on a hot summer day and all the small things that makes life worth living.
As 2016 draws to a close, this is the perfect time to hone your "Attitude of Gratitude." It's been a wild and cray year for everyone, worldwide. But even with ALL the bad stuff that's happened, we've still had a pretty terrific year; the sun is still shining, the stars are still twinkling, the flowers still bloom and the bees still buzz. Frogs still croak and birds still sing. Our hearts are filled with many wonderful memories and, as Dharma says, "Gratitude is a frog's memory of the heart." And, I'd like to think, a human's, too! 

Everyone, be they frog or human, operates with some kind of understanding of what is right and wrong, good or bad, scary or safe. But few of us ever stop to ask ourselves why we think and behave the way we do. Oh, you may some some idea superficial idea as to what make you "tick" but most of us work on "auto-pilot" and simply go about our days doing what we've been taught by our parents, teachers, and society at-large.
What are values? Have you ever thought about it? 'Our values are an internal representation, like a picture, feeling, or sound, of what is encoded in your subconscious mind as being the most important things to you in an area of your life,' so says Tish Thorpe, a Master Educator at the Chopra Center for Wellbeing. She goes on to say, 'In cognitive psychotherapy, core values are considered to be deeper than beliefs...they hover at the level of our unconscious, or subconscious, mind.'
I found out, too, that values are imprinted on us long before our beliefs are programmed; as images in our unconscious mind. This happens to us all as young children, or tadpoles. The Imprint Age: (0 to 7) - We absorb everything like sponges. We soak up everything we see, hear, smell, taste, and touch; The Modeling Age (8-13) - We model, or adopt, those behaviors and attitudes of the people/frogs we look up to. We copy other people and try on different ways of being; The Socialization Period (14-21) - This is when we try to figure out where we fit into society. We begin to develop our individuality and start to throw out some of our earlier programming that no longer serves who we are as adults. Then, in our 20's and 30's, we develop our business persona...how we present ourselves to the outside world. This why college degrees don''t always work for everyone. Most of us pick our college majors at age 18 or 19 and then, by the time we're in our mid-to-late 20's, or older, those areas of interest and specialization are no longer valid and then what happens to that degree? It winds up getting put into a drawer and forgotten. We've long-since moved on to another career path.
Ms. Thorpe tells us that it is important to know your values; it can determine 'what you do with your time and how you evaluate the time you spend.' Your top five values are, really, the most influencial when it comes to defining our lives. While all of our values are important, these top five are the ones that shape our behaviors and help us prioritize our time. Not sure what your values really are? I mean the ones that are truly yours and not not those that have been thrust upon you by someone, or something, else. Here's a way to determine your values:
1. Choose an area of your life that you'd like to determine your values; it could health and fitness, or relationships, your career, etc.
2. Ask yourself, "What's important to me about....(that paticular area of your life).
3. Write down a list of words that come to mind.
4. When you've run out of defining words, then number them in order of their importance to you. I know, they're all important, but do your best to try and number them. Remember, we're looking for the top five most important ones.
5. Next, rewrite your list, on a clean sheet of paper, listing those words in their order of importance.
Voila! There you have your values for that particular area of your life. Not so difficult now, was it?
Your values should support your goals in life and vise versa. When you coordinate your decisions to support both your values and your goals you can achieve the things that are most important to you. And it makes decision-making a whole lot easier! If you don't do this, you run the risk risk of living a life that's willy-nilly. Living a balanced life will bring you new-found joy, experience, and satisfaction. And what a great way to start off the New Year!

By this time in the holiday season, we've probably all seen at least two versions of the holiday classic, The Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. There's  lot more to be learned from this timeless story than first meets the eye.
Did you know that more people die in hospital ER's on Christmas Day and New Year's Day than any other days of the year? It's true. This facts also includes other holiday celebrations like Kwanzaa, Hannuka, and Pancha Ganapti...a Hindu holiday that also takes place in December. But of all these special days, Christmas is the most deadly. As Elvis once told us, "I'll have a blue, blue Christmas..." And for many of us this is all-too-often the case. Depression seems to run rampant during what is tooted as the happiest time of the year. So what does all this have to do with Dicken's The Christmas Carol? Plenty. Ebenezer Scrooge was a sad, lonely, and depressed man who, at the end, finds a way to repent for his formally wicked ways.
But the bigger, more important lesson o be learned, is that each of us can find a way to keep Christmas in our heart all year long. The Christmas Carol is really a story about living well all every single day. There's no doubt about it, Scrooge had a right to be a little depressed. The Ghost of Christmas Past shows us his terribly cold and upleasant upbringing. He probably suffered from what we might, today, call developmental trauma. But that can be overcome and a new, happier ways of living can be found. Holidays do, though, seem to have a way of making us depressed. We see the flaws in ourselves and our loved ones; we're not the perfect famy that we see portrayed on TV and in the movies.There always seems to be an abundance of stress and worry in December. For some of us, we find a way to "muster through" but, for others, they simply prefer to sit out on the sidelines until January 2nd. Scrooge's unhappy life isn't really the result of his early trauma, but is caused from his fearful response to it. Afraid of being hurt again, he chooses isolation instead of love...on the surface, that appears to be much safer, but as the story goes on, we learn that lonliness makes things worse. Loads of bad things can, and do, occur during the holidays and if we've ever had any of those things happen to us, we begin to associate Christmas with pain and sadness. Scrooge's hatred of the holiday season isn't about the pain he suffered when his girlfriend "dumped" him on Christmas day, but rather his fear of the world...and this ruled his life 365 days a year.
Like many of us, Scrooge doesn't think of himself as a bad, or evil, person. It's merely the way ones behaves in a world that is perceived as cruel and harsh. We find ourselves becoming harder and harder with every passing year. But the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come shows him, and us, how his tough exterior can't protect him from winding up in a lonely grave. Acting, or reacting, from a place of fear won't protect any of us. We're afraid of getting hurt (again) so we clam up and shut others out.  We think that no one likes us. And to prove them right, we become as unlikeable as we possibly can. We are a self-fulfilling prophecy. So when we prepare ourselves for an unpleasant holiday, that's exactly what we get. For you see wishes, both good and bad, really do come true. But fear and bitterness aren't our only options, you know.
The other option available to us takes a great deal of courage, that which many of us have in short supply. Even at our most vulnerable and scary times, we can choose to be open and loving. And those, too, as we see in The Christmas Carol, can become the very best kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. 
We can't erase all the trauma and bad things that hve happened to us. They are what they are. But we can choose how we want to view our world going forward. We can literally "open" the Christmas present. It's only in the here and now that we can fully live our lives. The past is just that...the past. And worrying about the future is pointless; we can't possibly plan ahead for every possible scenerio. All we have to work with is the present. I know this is easier said than done, but do try not to worry so much about surviving the entire holiday season. Instead, take it one day at a time. Live for today and derive as much pleasure and happiness as you can. If you get stuck in a long line at the check-out today, try complimenting the person ahead of you on their funny Christmas sweater. Strike up a conersation with the family in line behind you. Conversation can go along way to make you feel included. And it's a delightful way to pass the time. Life is a collection of these seemingly random simple pleasure. But they can all serve a useful purpose.
The first thing that Scrooge feels when he's brought back to the present is gratitude. And isn't that what hapiness is really all about? Research has shown that gratitude brings us a both physical an emotional well-being. Being gateful for all the things that do go right in our life makes us more cheerful. Here's an activity that has been proven to be highly successful in fighting the blues. Write a letter of gratitude to someone and hand deliver it to the recipient, if possible. Or write the letter to yourself, gently reminding yourself of all the wonderful things you have to be grateful for. Studies have shown that doing this one, simple act can significantly boost our happiness level...and that boost can last as long as an entire month!
According to Martha Beck, a life coach and happiness expert, "when we give ourselves the present, we find it easier to give to those around us. And before you know it, we have discovered that peace and joy aren't as far away as we thought."
I invite each of you to go ahead and open your present. It's the one gift we can open every single day whether it's Christmas, or not. And who among us wouldn't want to receive a wonderful gift every single day? None, I would venture to say.  And peace, love, and joy are what's waiting inside for us to discover!

For the past couple of weeks, I've been delving into the history surrounding several of the common holiday traditions. Today, I look at the yule log. Like most of our Christmas traditions, the Yule Log pre-dates medievil times. Originally the Yule Log was a Nordic custom. Yule is the name for the old Winter Soltice festivals in Scandinavia and parts of northern Europe, like Germany.
​In its earliest days, the Yule Log was an entire tree that was carefully chosen and brought into the home with great ceremony. The largest end of the log would be placed in the fire hearth while the rest of the tree was sticking out into the house. The log would be lit with the remnants of last year's log which had been carefully stored away and fed into the fire throughout the twelve days of Christmas. Interestingly, it was thought very important that the relighting process was only performed by someone with clean hands. The lighting of the Yule Log wasn't only a cherished tradition, but they also provided warmth during the cold night of late December.
In the southern France region of Provence, it is tradition that the whole family helps to cut down the log and that a little bit is burned each night throughout the twelve days of the Christmas season. And should any of the log remain after the Twelfth Night, it is carefully stored in the home to protect it against being burned accidentally before the next Christmas. This same principle is carried out in some parts of Holland, as well, with the difference being the the leftover log must be stored under someone's bed! 
In Cornwall, UK, the yule log is called The Mock. The wood is dried out and the bark removed before the log comes into the house and lit. Also in the UK, barrel makers, or coopers as they were called, would give their customers old logs that couldn't be made into barrels. The customers gratefully took these free logs and burned them as their Yule, or Mock, log.
The custom of the Yule Log spread all over Europe with different kinds of wood being burned in each country. In England, Oak wood is traditional while in Scotland, it's Birch. In France they prefer Cherrywood. The French like to sprinkle their log with wine (But of course!) so that it smells nice when it's lit. In Devon and Somerset, UK, some folks like to use a large bundle of Ash twigs in place of the log. This custom comes from the local legend that Mary and Joseph were very cold when the shepherds found them on Christmas Night so they gathered up a large bunch of twigs for them to burn. In Ireland, people use a large candle in place of wood and it is only lit on New Year's Eve and Twelfth Night.
For those of you interested in chemistry, different chemicals are often sprinkled on the logs to make them burn with pretty colored flames: Potassium Nitrate = violet; Barium Nitrate = apple green; Borax = vivid green; Copper Sulphate - blue; and Table Salt = bright yellow.
The ashes from the Yule Log are beneficial for plants because ash from burnt wood contains potash which helps plants flower. But don't throw the ashes out on on Chritmas Day. This is said to be very unlucky! 
A chocolate desert log is traditionally served in France during the holiday season. It is called a bûche de Noël. In Belgium, these fabulous desert logs are called Kerststronk. Desert Yule Logs are actually a thin sponge cake that is filled with a yummy chocolate cream filling. They are rolled up, jelly roll-style, and iced with chocolate butter cream. The tines of a fork are run over the icing, vertically, to make markings that resemble tree bark. The log is then often decorated with meringue or marzipan "mushrooms" and dusted with powdered sugar to represent snow. When done correctly, these "Yule Logs" not only taste sensational, but are visually stunning.
Next Friday, I'll give you the history of the Christmas Tree. Have a great weekend everyone and I hope you'll join me back here on Monday.