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Hi friends. This blog is a labor of love and I want to continue writing every day for a long time to come. But I need a little help. The fees to maintain this website are getting costly for a little frog. If you enjoy reading my blogs, will you please donate a dollar or two, or whatever you can, to help me keep this site (and blog) up and running? I'm on PayPal at irwinquagmirewart@gmail.com. Thank you!

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July goes out with a bang!

7/28/2016

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 July has been filled with loads of great days worthy of a celebration. And the last three days won't be any exception. This month is certainly going out with a bang! 
Today, July 29th, is National Talk in the Elevator Day. Most of us exert a lot of energy, every time we ride in the elevator, avoiding eye contact and conversation with our fellow riders. We stare at the ceiling, check our phone for texts, shuffle our packages...anything to avoid having to speak to the person (or frog) standing next to us. National Talk in the Elevator Day is a great opportunity to connect with others and, perhaps, make a new friend...or at the very least, brighten their day. Here are a few funny ice-breakers you can use today to start up an unsolicitated conversation with that "uncomfortable" person sharing the lift with you. 1. When the doors close, announce "Don't worry, they'll open again." 2. Call the Psychic Hotline and ask them if they know what floor you're on. 3. Hold the doors open, as if waiting for a friend, then say "Hiya Wally! How's it going?" 4. Announce to everyone, as they get on that it's National Talk in the Elevator Day and offer them a name tag. You get the idea....
In this day an age when we are all a little more standoffish, this is a great time to reconnect with your fellow species.
Saturday, July 30th is National Dance Day. Moving to music is instrinsic to everyone in every culture. We hear music and we just can't help moving. That's why National Dance Day is so important. It brings awareness to our need to dance. Not only is it a great exercise but it is a form of self-expression that even those of us with little artistic talent can master. You don't need to follow fancy footwork, or even have a partner. All that is required is music that you enjoy and the ability to move...even a little. The movements themselves aren't what's important. What is important is that those movements come from the heart. National Day Day was started in 2010 by Nigel Lythgoe as a grassroots way of getting Americans to embrace dance as "a fun and positive way to maintain good health and fight obesity." So, tomorrow, plan on listening to some of your favorite tunes and do a little dancin'. You'll have some fun and feel great. For me, dance is a most enjoyable way to get a great workout, without feeling like I'm doing work.
Sunday, July 31st, is National Mutt Day. Mutts make the best dogs and are always so grateful to be adopted. This time of year, unfortunately, dogs and puppies abound at all of the animal shelters. And without your love and support, many of them won't live. If you're looking to adopt a new 4-legged friend, please consider adopting from your area animal shelter. Just in case you need a little convincing, here are 10 great reasons to adopt a mutt. #10. They are unique. No two are going to be exactly the same. #9. Mixed-breed dogs are more flexible; they're laid-back and not as high strung as most pure breeds. #8. Mixed-breed dogs can still compete in many competitions, like agility. #7. Mutts can still be trained as service dogs. #6. Housetraining is provided. Many mixed-breed dogs once belonged to someone else and are already housetrained. #5. Most mutts found in rescue shelters are at least a year old. Sure, the puppy stage is cute, and all, but do you really want to mess with chewed up things and potty training? Older, adult dogs are even more awesome because they already know how to behave! #4. Mutts tend to have few health issues. #3. They have a super-cheap start-up. Most shelters charge only $50 to $200 to adopt a dog. Try to find a purebreed for that! And many times, shots, worming, and neutering are included in the price. #2. You're saving a life. As I mentioned earlier, not every shelter is a no-kill shelter. That means many of these wonderful, lovable, and severving dogs will lose their life if you don't adopt them. And the #1 reason for adopting a mutt? They're awesomeness is contangious! Mutts are the adventurer in all of us. They're up for anything and everything. Mixed-breed dogs give the best kisses and you'll never ever find a more loving, happy, tail-wagging, grateful best friend! If you can't adopt a dog, please make a generous donation to a shelter near you. The lives of these animals may depend on it.
With all these reasons to celebrate this weekend. it'll be hard to choose just one. Whatever you decide to do, just enjoy yourself. As for me, I think I'll take my new furry friend and go dancing! Now that'd be something to see, eh?
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Setting my GPS for the GYM

7/27/2016

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Lately, I've been having a difficult time making myself exercise. Do you ever have trouble getting yourself to the gym? I guess most of us do, at least now and again. But that got me thinking. If I can't motivate myself to exercise, which I know is good for my health, I wondered how on earth I could ever get myself motivated towards more complex goals?
Past research has linked mindfulness to better health and scientists have begun to look at whether or not mindfulness comes in to play in both motivating us to excercise and actually doing the exercise. And, indeed, it does seem to. The more mindful we are, the more likely we are to translate that motivation into action (like going to the gym). Frogs and humans who are focused on "intrinsic motivation," as well as mindfulness, are more likely to find exercise fun and satifying over  those who are "guilted" into exercise by famiy and friends. And those who lack mindlessful, but still have the intrinsic motivation, weren't exercising any more than the rest of us. Mindfulness, then, is the link between motivation and the physical activity, or so current research seems to show.
But what happens if you're not one of those frogs (like me) or a human that doesn't find exercising pleasurable? If you're anything like me, even though you know exercise is good for you, it is still a chore to do. Can mindfulness still help us? Sorry, but I can't give you a definitive answer. Researchers haven't analyzed all the data, yet. But what is suspected is that mindfulness heightens attention and awareness, which takes us out of that "auto-pilot" mode. Mindfulness could help us unathletic-types acknowlege our self-doubts and insecurities, while opening the door to a positive change.
Wouldn't it be frog-tastic if mindfulness could help us with ALL of our hidden intentions...to eat healthy, control our temper, stay in touch with friends an family and, yes, take better care of our bodies?
I believe that mindfulness can help us realize our true and better selves. And, no doubt, the scientific research that will back that up, will soon follow. Until then, all I can do is try my best, stay in present-moment awareness as often as possible, and set my car's GPS for the nearest gym.
​                           Stay happy. Stay healthy. See ya'll tomorrow!
​
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Sometimes bigger is better.

7/27/2016

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Dharma Frog showed up extra early last week, so this Wednesday I was up at first light and had the kettle on for tea, by the time my teacher reached my lily pad. He was happy to see that this week I was awake, alert, and ready for the day's lesson. I had caught a couple of juicy worms early and offered one to Dharma, along with his morning cup of tea. He smiled and said, "Irwin, funny you should offer me a worm this morning. My lesson for today is on generosity. The worm you share is always fatter, my boy." I like worms as much, if not more, than any frog so, of course, I was eager to learn how I could make them bigger and fatter!
Then, very abruptly, I had the proverbial wind knocked out of my sails when the Wise One explained that the worms wouldn't actually become bigger; that they would only feel bigger because I shared it with someone else. Still, this idea intrigued me and I wanted to know more. "Irwin, do remember when you got a gift as a tadpole? It didn't really matter too much what was inside, did it? The box was a little mystery and it was just for you. Probably, it was something you wanted, as well." I nodded in agreement. Receiving a gift, even now, makes me feel special and appreciated.
"And Irwin, how do YOU feel when you give a gift to someone else?" "I feel good, Sir. It's as much fun for me to watch another frog open a gift I've given them as it is for me to open a gift that's been given to me!" "Exactly!" he said. "There's something inextricably satisfying in watching another unwrap a gift and respond with amazement and happiness. You've made them smile! Doesn't THAT make the little gift seem bigger?"
I certainly didn't have to think about that question very long. It is an awesome feeling to give the gift of joy and happiness to another. Seeing their smile means far more than whatever little trinket may be in box. My mentor added that these same feelings happen when we give back to the world around us.
Many of us are far more privaleged than others and as soon as we realize that, we often have an innate desire to do what we can to help out. My teacher said that, as a species, we can't move forward if a significant number of us are left in the shadows. Civilizations of "Haves and Have Nots" have never lasted. There needs to be a greater balance for the world to turn the way it was designed to.  When we become top-heavy, our civilization tends to spin out-of-control; we become out of balance.
As Dharma finished his tea and worm, he reminded me, "Tadpole, it is through giving that we truly enrich and perpetuate our own lives, as well as the the lives of those we have helped. And that is how we make the worm we share, bigger. In this instance, Little One, bigger is definitely better."
I didn't have any important plans today and Dharma Frog's message had really hit home. So I decided to catch a bunch of worms and take them to my local bug pantry. I love the way I feel when I do something good; it makes me feel connected to something bigger than me. And I know that whatever "gift" I  am able to give, it'll bring a great big smile to another's face. It doesn't get any better, or bigger, than that!
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Bringing the outdoors in.

7/26/2016

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 I'm fortunate to have a home office that is outdoors. I can enjoy the sunshine, blue sky, birds singing, and snatch the occaisional bug that flies by. Others, who work in an enclosed space aren't as fortunate. I've been doing a lot of reading lately about how nature can influence productivity. It makes me wonder, then, how frogs and humans who work in windowless cubicles ever manage to get any work done!
Much has been written lately about what influences our work. Is it what we eat, how we organize our workspace, or is it more about where we work? As it turns out, our work environment influences not only our well-being, but also our productivity. Employers that offer their employees a "biophic-designed" work space...spaces that offer humans the opportunity to merge with other living systems...will see as much as a 13% increase in employee well-being and an 8% increase in productivity. Bringing elements of nature into the workplace has a long-lasting effect on employees. A recent Gallop poll shows that a much as one-third of all Americn workers are "disengaged and unhappy at work." Having exposure to natural sunlight, and other natural elements, report having better moods, greater job satisfaction, and more committment to their employer. It's been proven that nature helps to reduce stress. And this isn't only true for worker-types. Kids do better in school when they are exposed to more natural surroundings. And patients in hospitals have shown a significant improvement in healing time after surgery, when the hospital offers more natural elements and isn't as "sterile-looking."
If you work at home, there are lots of things that you can do to improve your workspace; put in a small garden just outside your office window, for example. Or paint your walls in the colors of nature. (Hint: beige isn't one of those colors...) But what happens when you work in an office building where you don't have the ability to change your workspace very much? There are still many things you can do to "perk up" the area; like adding a desk-top water fountain, a vase of beautiful fresh flowers, or by hanging photos, or prints, of naturen on your walls.
It's important too, I think, to get outside as often as you can. Instead of having another cup of stale coffee in the noisy breakroom, try enjoying a bottle of refreshing water outside. Even a few minutes of sunshine will make you feel instantly better. And, a couple of times a week, try skipping the crowded and rushed restaurants at lunchtime. A bag-lunch enjoyed outside at the local park will boost your mood, as well as your creativity!
I do realize how lucky I am to work in the beauty of nature every single day. Nature makes us better. Nature is my home. Perhaps it's time for you to incorporate more of it into your daily life,too.
As the famous architect Frank Lloyd Wright once said, "Study nature, love narure, stay close to nature; it'll never fail you." And that's a beautiful feeling!
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Solving conflicts

7/25/2016

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July 25th is Thread the Needle Day. When I first heard about this, I immediately thought about sewing. Seamstresses and tailors, at least today, are a dying breed and certainly deserve a lot of recognition. Fashioning beautiful garments out of nothing but cloth and thread, is truly an artform. But did you know that "threading the needle" also has a second, deeper meaning? And that's the one I am focusing on today.
Threading the needle can mean skillfully navigating your ways through a difficult conflict. Sometimes, I have a little trouble resolving conflict in a way that feels "right" for both parties. Maybe you do, too. So I was excited to have this opportunity to learn more about the art of skillful conflict resolution.
I do know that resolving any kind of conflict becomes more difficult when one party wants to avoid the problem.  Frogs, and humans, who fear conflict, or upsetting the apple cart, stifle their own wants and needs...and that's a tough way to live. My research shows that although navigating difficult conflicts isn't always a "piece of cake" it can be made much easier on everyone if there is a plan in place. When you know you need to have a tough conversation with someone, do a little homework first.
1. Plan ahead. Think about what will be the best time of day to have the talk; is there someone else I'd like to have there...or not be there; what can I do so that the other party will be able to hear and understand me; do I need to prepare for the talk; should I deliver the message in small bites, first, and then have the "meat and potatoes" part at a later time; and if I'm pretty sure I know what the other frog (person) will say, is there a way that I can meet their needs, as well as my own?
2. Be curious. Another key to successful conflict resolution is to deflect the attenction/focus away from winning. That means being open to finding a solution that can benefit everyone, even if there must be some give and take from both sides.
3. Empathize. It's good to realize that the other person's behavior probably isn't being done intentionally. Really, most frogs and humans I know just want to be liked by others. They aren't going out of their way to be "evil." It's important to put yourself in their shoes, too.  Ask yourself how they might be feeling and thinking. Try to see the situation from the other's perspective.
4. Point out shifting perspectives. It's very difficult to resolve problems if the other party needs to be right...all the time. Perhaps they are threatened by your attempts to settle things peacefully. Igor Stravinsky, the famous composer and pianist, said, "One's belief that one is sincere is not so dangerous as one's conviction that one is right. We all feel that we are right; but we felt the same way twenty years ago and today we know that we weren't always right." This might mean asking the other person how their perspective has shifted over time. This can help them see that they, too, aren't always correct in their thinking.
5. Get to the root of the problem. Ever notice that sometimes, the true issue isn't the problem that's actually being fought over? Oftentimes, that's the case. And you can't solve a problem if you don't know what that problem is. Once you get to the actual root cause of the issue at hand, finding an equitable solution will be much easier.
6. Stay calm - or take a break when needed.  When things start getting "too hot in the kitchen" don't be afraid to say, "Let's take a short break and cool down."  If both people/frogs go their own way for even 5 or 10 minutes, it gives everyone the opportunity to re-evaluate what's going on. And time to catch their breath. Often, we perceive conflict as a threat and automatically go to our "figh-or-flight" mode. This prevents us from being rational and thinking logially about new and creative ways to solve the issue. Once you're calm, you can return to the talk and tap into that higher "better" version of yourself. You'll be surprised at how much easier workable solutions will come from that place, than they will from a place of fear or anger.
7. And stay away from abusive people. Understand that you can't fix every problem or every person. Sometimes, the other party just has too much work to do on their own before any real and lasting solution can be found. And that's OK.

Thread the Needle Day is a great time to do a little conflict resolution of your own; perhaps with your boss, your spouse, friend, or children. We all have issues that need to be settled and this is the perfect day to start working on all of the things that can cause relationships to spin out-of-control and, eventually, fall apart. This is your opportunity to "nip it in the bud" beore a valued relationship is lost forever.
And, should you actually know a seamstress or tailor, be sure and tell them you appreciate their work today. It is, after all, Thread the Needle Day, whichever way you choose to acknowledge it
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Ahhhh! It's the weekend.

7/22/2016

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I'm especially looking forward to this weekend. I've had a long and difficult few days. But they're in the past and I'm excited about the Saturday activity I have planned. Little brother Quigley, Jr. is attending a tennis camp and I'm going with him. It's been too hot outside to do much besides swim, so we found an indoor tennis court and we're both taking lessons. How fun is that!
I've tried many different sports, as most of you know; and I'm not very good at any of them. But it's kind of fun to have a working knowledge of each of them. It makes them more fun to watch when you know a little about the history and how the game is played. In my usual fashion, I've done my homework and found a few very interesting facts about tennis that I'd like to share with you.
The game that we call tennis is a direct descendant of the game called real, or royal, tennis. Most historians believe that tennis originated in the monastic cloisters( of monks) in northern France, around the 12th century AD. Originally, the game was played by hitting the ball with the palm of the hand, and was called "jeu de paume" (game of the palm). In the 16th century, rackets came into use and the game started beng referred to as tennis.  The sport of tennis was immensely popular in both England and France. It is said that King Henry the VIII of England was a big fan.
Many original tennis courts still exist today such as the ones in Oxford, Cambridge, Falkland Palace where mary Queen of Scots regularly played, and Hampton Court Palace...all in England. Many of the French tennis courts were decommissioned during the terror following the French Revolution. The Tennis Court Oath (Serment du Jeu de Paume) was an important event during th early days of the Revolution. The Oath was a pledge signed by 576 of the 577 members of the Third Estate who were locked out of a meeting of the Estes-General on 20 June, 1789...days before the storming of the Bastille.
The Davis Cup, an annual men's tournament, dates back to 1900. A comparable women's league (Fed Cup) didn't come into being until 1963.  In 1926, promoter C.C. Pyle created the first professional tennis tour with a group of French and American players, playing exhibition matches before audiences. In 1968, amid commercial pressure and rumors of some ameteurs taking money under the table, the inauguration of the "open era," in which all players could compete in all tournaments, began. The Open Era allowed top players to earn their living from playing professional tennis. Additionally, the Open Era marked the beginning of the professional tennis circuit and revenues from the sale of television rights.
Among other litererary greats, "tennis balles" are mentioned in the play Henry V, written by William Shakespeare in 1599. In England, during the 18th and 19th centuries when real tennis died out, three other raquet sports emerged; raquets, squash, and lawn tennis (the modern game).
With such a long and outstanding history, I can't wait to don my traditional tennis "whites" and grab my raquet. I mean what's not to like about a sport that uses LOVE in scoring! 
                                          Happy Weekend Everyone.
                            Stay safe and see you all back here on Monday!    
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The Pied Piper and His Magic Flute

7/20/2016

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After a couple of days of long and heavish blogs, I decided that today, I would write about something kind of fun. Tomorrow, July 22nd, is Rat Catcher's Day. In order to give you ample time to prepare your celebration, I thought I would give you a "heads up" today.
I initially thought that Rat Catcher's Day was set aside to honor those in the pest-conrol industry, but when I did my research I was pleasantly suprised to find that it had nothing to do with the catching of rats. And thank goodness for that!  July 22nd, or Rat Catcher's Day, pays tribute to the legend of the Pied Piper of Hamelin, or the Rattenfänger von Hameln, in German, during the middle ages. Hamelin is a village in Lower Saxony in Germany. The Pied Piper is also called the Pan Piper or the Rat-Catcher of Hamelin. By whatever name you choose to call him, the story goes that a piper, dressed in multi-colored (pied) clothing was hired by the town's people of Hamelin to lure the rats away with his magic pipe (flute). When the citizens refused to pay the piper for his work, he retaliates and lures the town's children away, just as he had the rats, by using his instument's magical powers. (The story I've been told, since my youth, is that more than a couple of frogs may have also been led astray along the kids.)
The rat and children version of the story became folklore and has appeared in the writings of von Goethe, the Brothers Grimm, and Robert Browning, to name a few.
There are many theories about this tale. One suggests that he was the symbol of hope for the good people of Hamelin who had been attacked by the plague; thus the Pied Pier led all the rats out of town and saved the citizens from this epidemic disease.
The earliest known record of this story came from the Town of Hamelin, itself. The Church of Hamelin had a stained glass window depicting the Piper and his rats. The church dates back to around AD 1300. Although the church was destroyed in 1660, there are several written accounts about the window that have survived.
The earliest written version of this story dates back to 1384 when the account states that, "It's been 100 years since our children have left." Much research has conducted on this story but, to date, no historical evidence exists that the Pied Piper was a real person. At any rate, the rats were added to the story about AD 1559.
Some accounts believe that the children died from disease or from starvation, and that the Piper is a symbolic figure of death. One of the more interesting, and modern, interpretation suggests that the children were lured away by a pagan, or heretic group, to the forests outside of Copenhagen where they were used as part of a ritual dance. The children then perished during a sudden landslide or, perhaps, in the collapse of a sinkhole. Still another version says that the children of Hamelin left to be part of a pilgramage, military campaign, or a Children's Crusdade but were then never returned to their parents.
The story has evolved and changed many times throughout its long history, but it is a well-known tale that even children of today can read. After a brief search on Amazon, I found several copies of this story available for sale. Folklore are stories that get handed down from one generation to another. They are living history. And although I'm not thrilled by this story, it is kind of exciting to read a tale that has been apart of the world's literature, now, for well-over 600 years. 
I wish you all a Happy Rat Catcher's Day!
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I can see clearly now.

7/19/2016

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After my stressful day yesterday, I had decided to sleep in this morning. But that was a wish that wasn't meant to come true. Before the sun was even up, there was a very loud "kerplop" sound that startled me. I woke up with a start, and more than a little damp, only to find that the Dharma Frog had hopped onto my lily pad with such force, he had managed to created waves in the usually-peaceful swamp... and that was the reason I woke up soaking wet! I stumbled to the kitchen, dried myself off, put on the kettle, and began looking for something to serve my guest for breakfast. I hadn't even sat down at the dining table yet, when Dharma began our Wednesday lesson.
"To the frog who cleans the doors of his perception, Irwin, everything will appear as it is...infinite!" That was a lot for me to take in before I'd even had one swallow of tea. "But Dharma," I replied, "My doors and windows are always clean! You know I don't like a dirty lily pad." "Oh Irwin," he said sadly, as he shook his head," I'm not talking about real doors and windows. I don't think you're awake, Son. Go ahead and have some tea...and while you're at please pour me a nice big cup." I did as I was told and then the Wise One explained that he was referring to the doors in my mind, the ones that open onto my perception of the world around me. "I think your's are getting a little smudged," he stated. "It's time to do a little mental housekeeping, Tadpole, before your perception gets any worse." OK, so maybe I wasn't seeing things as clearly as I usually do. I mean, afterall, I did get pretty wound-up over an appointment yesterday. The Dharma Frog sensed that I was ready to begin my lesson in earnest this time, and went to explain how perception colors every aspect of our lives...from the simplest little things to the great big, grandiose events in our lives. Things can be either black/white/grey...or in beautiful 3-D color. The choice is up to us.
How we perceive and interpret events, as well as other external stimuli, colors how we interact with people and with life, in general. Dharma went on to say that if we let our egos...our false sense of self...dominate our thoughts, we will never see things as they truly are. Unfortunately, it becomes more difficult to remove a falsehood (one of those negative perceptions) once it has settled into our mind and we have given ourselves a rationale for it...even when that rationale is erroneous. Frogs, and humans alike,  will retain their invented explanation because our ego is unwilling to consider the possibility that it might be WRONG! This happens, even after the ego's erroneous explantion of and event or circumstance has been thoroughly disqualified. It seems, according to Dharma (and other noted researchers) that it is far easier to create a new belief than it is to change an old, worn-out exisiting one.
"So, Wise One, how do I clean my mental doors so I can see more clearly?" My teacher thought for a moment, then slowly replied, "It's easier, Irwin, to not have misperceptions to begin with, than it is to change your old ones. Changing your perceptions isn't easy, Little One, but with desire and a little fortitude it can be done. You must first decide to be in charge of your life. YOU are in charge. Not your life. You have to set reasonable expectations for yourself. You have to forgive yourself when you faulter. And you will, from time-to-time; afterall, we are only frogs. Then, start talking back, very forcibly in necessary, to that little inner voice inside your head. Everytime it say, 'I cant' you must tell him, 'I can!'  Irwin, we all have good and bad in our lives and it's so important to focus your attention on the good, rather than the bad. Perhaps it'll be hard at first. But start off with being happy and positive about your morning cup of tea. Find joy in the sunrise...you get the idea. Start off small. Too, you need to start acknowledging the all the good qualities you have. For some, that won't won't be easy. Self-hatred is debilitating and clouds our perceptions; that can mean digging pretty deep. But for those you are willing to look, lots of good qualities can be found and appreciated.  And, lastly, my young student, don't settle for anything less than feeling happy. If you take care of yourself, it will help everything else fall into place. Do you understand?" "I sure do! This has been a very helpful lesson. Thank you, Dharma."
As my friend and mentor hopped away, I felt as if a great weight had been lifted off my tiny frog shoulders. I CAN see things clearly. All I need to do is to wash my mental "door and windows" regularly. And that will be easy for me to do. I am, after all, a very tidy frog. I want my mind to be as spic 'n span as my little lily pad.
Our personal perceptions color our world. I know I don't like living in beige, brown, grey, or black. I LOVE color. It makes me happy. It's good to know that all I have to do is give my perceptions a good daily clean. Then I can clearly see all the beautiful and vibrant colors that really do exist out there.​ And they are infinite.
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Fighting Fear.

7/18/2016

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I have an appointment later today and, I must admit, I'm afraid to go. Fear is a terrible, crippling emotion. It can eat us up alive. Even though we know that things rarely, if ever, turn out as bad as we think they will, we continue to fret over the "what if's" in life. Most of the time, I can handle the stress OK, but every now and again, the fear takes over and I become a blob of green goo, unable to function or think clearly.
Why do we become afrain and what can we do to overcome it? These were my questions this morning. I did a little research on the subject and here's what I learned.
Emotions have a powerful effect on the mind and fear, considered a strong survival instinct, is particularly potent. The instinct of fear is held primary in our amygdala, a small almond-shaped structure that's centered deep within the brain. The amygdala is essential for our ability to feel certain emotion, as well as to sense them in others. I'm sorry to say, but my fear-center has gone haywire these past few days and I need to get it back in balance. For those of you who've known real fear, I don't have to tell you that a life lived in fear isn't a good one.
But fear can be overcome. It just doesn't happen overnight. And when we overcome fear, we grow and become a better tronger version of ourselves. We learn that it's OK to expand our possibilities which, in turn, gives us more options for a better happier life.
Lots of frogs, and people too I suspect, like to "play it safe," which limits the amounf of happiness that we can experience. We must learn to step out of our comfort zone and take a change. And it's those chances that will often bring us our greatest joys and rewards. Everyone has tips that they can offer us to overcome fear, but I've these three that are pretty effective for me.
1, Develop accurate perception. This is not easy for many of us but with time, and patience, we can learn to view any person or situation with more objectivity and with an open mind. That starts with with being honest with yourself about what you're really afraid of. Put your emotions aside and see that fearful thing from a new perspective; independent from your feelings. This means seeing the situation/person/event in a clearer, more accurate way. When we look at things without the fear, we can see the situation honestly. We can see what is actually at stake and then make the decision that is best for us.
2. Believe in yourself. The best way to overcome fear is to believe that you can do it. I recently read that "Doubt is like cancer. It feeds on all the happy, positive thoughts you may have. Nothing kills a dream faster than doubt." Boy Howdy! This is so true! It becomes a lot easier to take a risk if you can believe that you can achieve your goals.
3. Surrender the outcome. What usually causes people the most fear is fear of the unknown...fear of the outcome. Just like me, with my appointment tomorrow. I am scared of what might happen. But none of us, frog or human, can predict with certainty what the future holds in store. And therein lies the beauty of life...with all its glorious (and often scary) twists and turns. The biggest reason we all want to know what the future will bring, is knowing that we'll be OK. And even though we don't know for certain what the future will bring, it's a pretty safe bet that we'll be alright and that we'll land on four flippers...or feet. We all have what we need, at any given moment. We may not always get what what we want...and that can be a blessing. But we will always get what we need; what is right for us at that time.
Life has an interesting way of working out. We all start off as tiny acorns (or tadpoles) but then we grow into beautiful, mature oak trees (or frogs). And our job is to give the best we can in every moment. Plant the seed, water the seed, then stand by and watch it grow! Fear and risk are a part of everyday life. And fear only becomes real when we believe it is.
I am reminded of a childhood story about the little engine that could. This little train engine was determined to pull a trainload of toys to waiting children who lived on a mountainside. A big engine might have said, "I can't do that. It's too scary and the hill is too high!" But not the little engine. He successfully over came his fear and brought the toys to all the happy children. How did he do it? By telling himself, over and over, until he believed it, "I think I can. I think I can. I think I can,"
And that's exactly what I'll do with my appointment. I know that I can go and that whatever happens, it'll be for the best. Why? Because just like that little engine, I'm the little frog who thinks I can.
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Now you see it. Now you don't.

7/18/2016

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As froglets (and as human children) we see magic in everything. I remember thinking, when I was about young Quigley, Jr's age, that all the shows I watched on FROG TV were being created by tiny frogs that lived inside the family television set. I believed in Santa Frog and the Easter Frobbit and so many other things. The world was filled with magic and I often wondered why adults couldn't see, or understand, that these things were very real. I never wanted to grow up and lose the magic.
But grow up I did, and as an older frog I've come to realize that my fantasies,as a froglet, were just that...amazing and wonderful figments of my imagination. The ability to create those fantasies are what allow me, as a somewhat grownup frog, to create the stories for my books. I know the difference between illusion and disillusion...ok, well, most of the time anyway, and I try to keep my imagination from running away from me. But is it wrong to believe in magic? I say NO.
Magicians create illusions that look very real. We leave their shows, scratching our heads wodering how they did that! They're fun to watch. Sometimes, though, we can't ever figure out how they performed the trick and then it does seem very real and we begin to wonder if there is such a thing as magic.​ Science likes to disprove magic and has done a preety good job of explaining how illussions are actually created in the mind.
But the kind of magic I'm referring to aren't illusions at all. The magic I believe in is really the sense of awe that we're born with but that, somehow or other, seems to get lost as we mature and grow up. There are many mysteries in our world that can be scientifically explained, but even knowing how the mountains got created or what makes birds fy, doesn't lessen the impact they have on us. And thank goodness for that! 
The really good news coming out of the science arena is that the awe we feel when we see, hear, and touch the wonders of our universe, is sending numerous health benefits to our minds and bodies. Not only does awe feel good and serve as inspiration for us, it fosters kindness in us, connects us to others and the world we live in, and can actually help kids and adults (amphibian species included) thrive in life. For me, I know that by loosing my sense of wonder, I am resigning myself to the known and comfortable. I am assuming that there's nothing left to surprise me. I can't speak for you but, for me, that's not how I want to life my life. Far from it!
Since there's no going back to childhood, unfortunately, how can we bring wonder and awe back into our life as adults? We can learn to feel that magic and wonder again, by allowing ourselves to not overthink things all the time. See things as they are...beautiful, magnificent, awe-inspiring. These things can be big, like shark-eating dinosaurs or tiny robots that can help cure cancer. Our world, and all of it's technology, gives us loads of reasons to be filled with wonder. but there are little things, too. Like how dry ingredients blended together and then baked, result in perfectly moist and beautifully fragrant blueberry muffins. If we want more magic in our everyday life, all we simply need do is open our eyes.
And yes, Virginia, there really is a Santa Clause. It's the spirit that miraculously fills the air each year, beginning around December 1st, and it makes humans nicer, kinder, and more generous. There are so many reasons to believe in magic and no real reasons why we shouldn't. I'm sure there are more than a few psychiatrists out there who might disagree with me, and they're entitled to their opinions. But, for me, I like believing in magic; it makes me happy. It makes my world a little nicer. Magic and wonder and awe...they're all pretty much the same thing and how much, or how little, we choose to experience is up to each of us.
I want all the wonder and awe I can get my little froggy flippers on, today and everyday. I like the way I feel when I'm awe-inspired. How much of this this good stuff will you choose to experience today? I hope it's lots...it'll be good for you and good for your health.
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    Land of Lily Pad's first published author. I enjoy writing fun and educational books for kids. My blog is for you parents; the kiddos might like some of them, too. As always, everything I write is family-friendly, so don't hesitate to share my messages with everyone. I hope you find them helpful and maybe even inspirational. Cheers! 

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