Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. There's no pressure to shop for the perfect gift or too much food to prepare. It's all about pretending to be someone, or something, else for a day, having fun, and loads an loads of Halloween treats...and maybe a few tricks! Today, I thought I write about pumpkins and pumpkin carving; two things that have become synonomous with this time of year.
Carved jack-o'-lanterns peer out from nearly porch, garden, and yard each October. These pumpkins, decorated with ghoulish faces, are a sure sign of that Halloween can't be too far off. But did you know that the practice of decorating jack-o'-lanerns comes from the Irish folktale about Stingy Jack? And the orginal canvass wasn't a pumpkin at all, but were turnips and potatoes. Irish immigrants brough the tradition to America, home of the pumpkin, where it quickly became an integral part of the Halloween festivities.
According to the legend, Stingy Jack  invited the devil to have a drink with him. And true to his name, Stingy Jack didn't want to pay for his drink, so he convinced the devil to turn himself into a coin that jack could use to pay for their drinks. Once the devil did that, jack prompty put the coin into his pocket where he also kept a silver cross, which prevented the devil from changing back to his original form. According to the tale, Jack eventually freed the devil, under the condition that he not come back and bother him for one year. And in the event of Jack's death, the devil would not claim his soul. The next year, Jack tricked the devil into climbing a tree to pick a piece of fruit. While the devil was up in the tree, Jack carved a cross in the tree so the devil would not climb down, until he promised Jack to leave him alone for another ten years. Soon after, Jack died. The legend then goes on to say that God would not allow such an unsavory character into heaven. And, the devil, upset by Jack's trickery, and keeping his promise not to claim his soul, would not allow Jack to enter hell, either. He sent Jack off into the night with only a burning coal to light his way. Jack put the burning coal into a carved out turnip and has been wandering the Earth ever since. The Irish began calling him Jack of the Lantern then, simply, Jack O' Lantern.
In Ireland and Scotland, people began carving scary faces into turnips and potatoes, then placing them on their window sills, in hopes of scaring off Jack and other evil spirits.  In England, large beets were used. These immigrants, upon arriving in America where native pumpkins were grown in quantity, found them perfect for carving their own Jack O' Lanterns every fall.
A few halloween facts of interest:
1. Halloween started as a feast before All Saints' Day.
2. The favorite holiday traditions came form the Celtic holiday of Samhain.
3. Halloween first became popular in the American southeast, but it wasn't widespread until the wave of Scottish and Irish immigrants in the 19th century.
4. "All Hallows Eve" was popularized as Halloween, thanks to a poem by Robert Burns in 1785.
5. And, as we just learned, the original carved jack-o'-lanterns were turnips. I can't even imagine those, can you? They just wouldn't be the same.
I hope you ahve a wonderful and safe Halloween...one that's filled with lots of treats and ony a few tricks!

Today is Frankenstein Friday, a day set aside to celebrate the birth of Frankenstein and his creator. Dating back to the 1800's, Frankenstein is one of the world's most famous horrow characters of all times.
Created by Mary Shelley, at the age of 21, the story was first published in 1818. The most famous film version of the character was played by Boris Karloff  in 1931. I wondered what would cause a young English "rose" to write such a terrifying tale so I researched author Mary Shelly and found a few interesting facts.
Shelley, at the tender age of 17, traveled throughout Europe. She journeyed down the River Rhine, in Germany, and made a stop in Gernsheim which was only 10 miles (17 kilometers) away from the Frankenstein Castle. In 1673 Johann Conrad Dippel was born in this casrle and later worked as an alchemist there. It is interesting to note, here, that Dippel created an animal oil (Dippel's Oil) which was supposed to be "the elixir of life." Too, it is alleged that in addition to alchemy, Dippel also studdied anatomy, performing experiements on dead bodies. Although there is nothing to confirm this, it is believed that Mary Shelley may have been influenced by Dippel, and his science projects, when she wrote the Gothic novel, Frankenstein.
Later, Ms. Shelley travel to Geneva, Switzerland where much of the Frankenstein story takes place. During this time, there were many conversations with her peers regarding the topic of galvanism...the contraction of a muscle that is stimulated by electrical current. Percy Shelley, poet and Mary's future husband, found this topic of great interest. Mary, Percy, Lord Byron and John Polidori had a competition to see who could write the best horror story. After several days of trying to come up with ideas for her story, Mary had a dream about an scientist who created life and was horrified by what he had made. her dream later evolved into the story of Frankenstein.
Brian Aldiss, famous writer of sci-fi novels and short stories, has argued that Frankenstein could be considered " the first true science fiction story because, in contrast to previous stories with fantastical elements resembling those of later science fiction, the central character 'makes a deliberate decision and turns to modern experiments in his labratory' to achieve fantastic results." (Mary Shelley on Wikipedia) 
Frankenstein has had an incredible influence on literature and popular culture. it has spawned a complete genre of horror stories, films, and plays.
Since the novel was first published, the monster is referred to as Frankenstein, but some consider this to be erroneous since the monster's creator was Dr. Frankenstein and the monster is never referred to by that name. In the book, he is called  wretch, creature, monster, demon, and "it". The monster refers to himself as "Adam of your labours."
Agust 30th is sometimes referred to as Frankenstein Day and is the birthday of Mary Godwin Shelley.
What are some fun ways to celebrate this special day...AND get in the mood for Halloween? Here are a few of my favorites.
1. Watch a Frankenstein film...or two
2. Read the orginal Frankenstein book.
3. Dress up as Frankenstein and "roam" your neighborhood.
National Frankenstein Friday was created in 1997 by Ron MacCloskey of Westfield, New Jersey. It is thought that MacCloskey chose Friday for his celebration because of the FR connection (FRankenstein and FRiday). Conveniently, the day is always celebrated on the last Friday of October...just before Halloween!
Enjoy the last weekend of October. I hope to see you all back here on Halloween Monday!

Frogs are complex creatures...but not nearly as complex, multidimensional, and multifaceted as you humans. Yet frogs, and humans alike, try to label others and put them into nice, neat little categories. When we apply labels to others, it's like we put on blinders. All we see is the label we've given them. And for most of us, even with all the possible labels we can have, togethey they still won't add up to who, and what, we're all about.
Some labels are fairly generic; male and female, for example, but most others are unfair and hurtful. We've probably all called someone stupid, or a jerk, at one time in our life; we've all probably been called a few unsavory names ourselves. as well. It never feels good. Words can be hurtful, even when they're well-intentioned. 
Labels, we think, make it easy to pigeon-hole others; we can separate the ones we like from the ones we don't. But when we label others, we often miss some of their more delicate and subtle attributes. I read once where the Inuit can tell the difference between dozens of different kinds of snow. To you and me, we simply see snow; it all looks the same. The Inuits, though, are able to see tiny differences. Why? Because they take the time to look; to really see the snow. They get to know it before they decide what to call it. What if we did that? What do you think would happen? Would we start seeing others as they really are and not as we think they are? I believe we would.
Labels shape our perceptions of all kinds of things; race, financial status, religious affiliation, and sexual orientation. The more labels we give a person, the harder it it for us to see them for who they are; they become, in our eyes, either very small and inconsequential, or so large and scary that we begin to see them as dangerous and life-threatening. Sometimes, however, labeling others isn't much of a concern. Those kinds of labels allow us to categorize the tons of information we need to process every day; friendly, harmful, safe, deceitful, tasty...are jut a few that come to mind.
We label out of fear; fear of those who are different from us. We tend to judge others before they judge us. Hurt or get hurt. That's the motto of labelers.
Here are 10 labels that we all need to quit using to describe our fellow beings:
1. Illegal immigrant 2. Slut 3. Retard 4. Socialist 5. Tranny 6. Crazy 7. Plus-size model
8. Homo 9. Addict/Alcoholic 10. Republican/Democrat
I have a few more that I would ad to my list. I'm sure you have a few that you think should be banned forever, too. If we lived in a black and white, right and wrong, and good and bad  kind of world, a world where we all looked and thought the same, then labels might be ok. But we don't. Our world is full of color, of grey areas, and many different perspectives of what is right and wrong. In the real world, labeling others serve no useful purpose. Each of us is entitled to our live our life the way we see fit; the way that's right for us.
Labels make me sad. Labels make me angry. My wish for today (and, really, every day) is that each one of us makes a vow to stop using degrogatory labels on one another. And if you hear someone else slinging the mud...walk, or hop, away as quickly as you can. Don't become a part of the problem.
We are all far more alike than we are different. Once we get that, it's much more difficult to call others by disrespectful terms.
Labels are for jars...not for people (or frogs!)
                                               Respect and dignity for all.​

Today is Wednesday and that means my wise old teacher, the Dharma Frog, will soon arrive for my weekly lesson in living. I look forward to his visits even though they can be taxing on my brain so early in the morning. But, after all this time, I can't imagine a Wednesday morning not spent with my tusted teacher. Just as I put the kettle on for tea, and begame warming up some French croissants for our breakfast, Dharma arrive and was ready to get right down to business. That usually means our lesson is a very important one.
"Irwin, the frog who wants to become full must first let himself be empty. Are you empty, my son?" I was, indeed, feeling empty; my stomach was growling and I was very hungry but, somehow, I don't think that's what he meant. "Probably not, Sir," was the only answer I could come up with. In his usual manner, Dharma went on to explain what he meant by being empty. He told me to think about looking at life through a clear pitcher; there'd be nothing in the way of seeing people and situations clarly. Quieting the mind, he reminded me, is just like that. It allows us to see things in a new pespective, free from the color and drama of everyday life. When the mind become clear, it opens up new pathways for creativity to enter. New seeds of wisdom begin to germinate. Suddenly, where there were no answers, we now have wonderful and creative ways to solve even our most challenging problems.
"Who were you before all those thoughts got crammed into your head? Who would you be without them?" asked Dharma. "Think about it, Tadpole. When our vessel, or pitcher is full, we see life through the same old patterns, behaviors, and belief systems. Emptyness can leave us sitting on some very unfamilair lily pads." This was something I'd never thought about before, but I could see that it might raise more than a few interesting answers.
"But, Sir, how do I become empty? My little head is full, all the way right up to my bulging eyeballs!" Dharma smiled, then gave me a few ways to begin emptying my overflowing pitcher.
1. Remember this essential truth; emptiness is our true nature. We came into the world this way. By living authentically, we can return to a place of space, potential, and limitless possibilities.
2. Being empty invites us to befriend the unknown. This is a very scary thought for most of us. But when we allow old patterns to fall away, change happens. It's normal to feel fear when there are big changes, but we can learn to meet the fear lovingly.
3. Be careful not to confuse emptiness with boredom. Boredom feels flat and numbing. True emptiness gives us the capacity to be fully awake each moment. When we empty ourselves out, we feel less drama and less stress. In it's place is a kind of inner peace and knowing that all is well. Emptynes is an enegizing force.
4. Be compassionate with yourself. Remember that every moment spent in exploration and letting go is a moment of freedom. And when you fall back on old behaviors and ways of thinking, and you will from time-to-time, take a deep breath and begin to empty again. Dont remind yourself of all the others times you've already done this. All you need to be concerned with is the here and now. Each day starts new.
As Dharma finished up his tea, he quietly said, "Irwin, I want to leave you with this thought: Becoming empty opens us up to greater potential; to begin living from our inner intelligence rather than from the mind where our thoughts have been distorted by others througout our lifetime. Emptiness brings a sense of harmony with all life."
I hopped to edge of the lily pad and watched my teacher swim away. I was sad to see him leave but, as always, I was greatful to have him in my life. His lessons aren't always easy but they do help to make me a better frog. And now it's time for me to begin "draining my brain". I want to experience as much of life as I possibly can. And, thanks to Dharma, I know that in order to do that, I must first become empty.

Most of the world's wisdom traditions tell us that pride is wrong; that it's a sin. I take great pride in my work so, does that make me bad? I believe that pride, like most emotions, can be useful as long as know how to keep it in check.
What is pride anyway? I looked it up and found several definitions. My favorite on is from Wikipedia; "Pride is an inwardly directed emotion that carries two antithetical meanings. With a negative connotation pride refers to a foolishly and irrationally corrupt sense of one's personal value, status, or acomplishments, used synonymously with hubris. With a positive connotation, pride refers to a humble and content sense of attachment toward one's own or another's choices and actions, or toward a whole group of people, and is a product of praise, independent self-reflection, and a fulfilled feeling of belonging. Pride can be both good and bad.
Philosophers and social psychologists have noted that pride is a complex secondary emotion which requires the development of a sense of self and the mastery of relevant conceptual distinctions through language-based  interactions with others." That's a very long, but I think important, desciption. Here's why:
Ok, so we know that pride can help us and it can hurt us. Let's look at the good aspects of pride. Pride can be useful when we're trying to maintain high standards, like me when I say I'm proud of my work. Pride keeps me want...and trying...to do my best. But pride in an accomplishment is only one way that pride is helpful. We can take pride in others, both as individuals and as groups. We can take pride in our religion, our nationality, and our language. Pride can also be a manipulation tool. Governments often take advantage of citizens' pride in their country in order to get them to join the military and fight for their country. Pride most often occurs, though, after we work hard, peristing through adversity, to achieve a success. And we should feel pride in our accomplishments!  Pride can be a great motivator. Pride, however, can turn nasty....
When pride makes us feel superior to others, causing us to look down on them, it is often referred to as being prideful. The dark side of pride can rear it's head when we start comparing our accomplishments to the accomplishments of others. This, as I'm sure you know, can lead to either feelings of superiority or inferiority. When we find ourselves feeling inferior, we can become venegeful and spiteful, saying and doing things that are hurtful. These dark actions only serve to hold us back from being the best we can be.
We all have things to be proud of and one particularly good use of pride is to help others feel pride in the things that they do. The key here is to do it honestly; don't use it as a tool of manipulation! In and of itself, pride is neither good nor bad. It's what we do with it that determines it usefulness. And we never want to let pride go to our head...that can be very distracting. It can give us an over-inflated sense of self importance. It can turn from honest pride to boasting very quickly.
I looked for an interesting quote on pride to use as the end of this blog. I found literally hundreds of them, mostly saying how terrible pride is. I did find this one quote, though, that beautifully expresses how pride can benefit us. Unfortunately, it wasn't referenced and I don't have clue who said it. "Take pride in how far you've come and have faith in how far you can go." We must never rest on our laurels...that is negative pride at it's worst, but using pride to push us farther along our true path is pride as it's very best.

We all have days when we simply don't feel our best. We're full of self-criticisms...woulda, coulda, shoulda. Our self-steem is a low. I've had a few of those days here recently and I know it's time for me to get off my pity-pot and look for some new ways to feels better.
Positive self-views emerge from self-esteem, self-acceptance, and self-worth, among other things. Our general belief about ourselve is the best predictor of our happiness; more than 19, or so, other predictors which include gratitude and having strong personal relationships. OK, I can kind of understand this but, I wanted to know, what makes our sense of self so essential to our well-being? Here's what I found out. Our self-views not only affect how we feel, but they also influencs our actions and behaviours. When we feel bad about ourselves we unconsciously act in ways that that become self-fulfilling prophecies. A perfect example of this is when we feel that we're not good enough for the job we have. We sabotage ourselves and begin caring less; we become sloppy, disengaged, and crabby. And then what happens? Yep. You guessed it. We loose our job and fulfill our own predicitions of failure. But there are ways to stop to stop the negative cycle. Here's how.
1. Figure out your needs. When we don't feel good about ourselves, it's often easy to believe that there's something fundamentally wrong with us. But that isn't true. What's happened is that we've forgotten to clarify what makes us feel good; what are needs are. This can make us feel pretty powerless.  It's important to note here, that this doesn't mean that we should expect others in our lives to fulfill our every desire. Look deep inside and find out what your personal needs are. Is it to travel? Or, maybe, it's to love doing your job....whatever it is. For some, that need is have children, or to work with the elderly. It's up to each of us to figure out what we need to feel good; what makes us happy and will give us a fulfilling life. For me, I think, it's to travel and learn about other customs and cultures.
2. Live authentically. If you already know what your needs are, this step is easy. It just means not straying too far from those things that make us feel good...that give us our authentic life. But what about if our needs aren't being met? How do we learn to communicate those needs to others and to start creating a life that meets those needs? And what will you do if the people (or frogs) in your life cant't fulfill those needs? Sometimes we feel that it's just easier to go with the flow' than it is to risk rocking the boat. We all have deal breakers, those things that we just can't tolerate, and the trick, here, is to stick to them. You can't let others run you over. It's amazing how fast your self-esteem will begin to sore when you stick up for yourself and begin living a life that is authentically yours.
3. Forgive yourself. For many of us, myself included, this isn't easy.  So, you've figured out your needs and laid out a plan to achieve them...but what about your mistakes? Those naggings boo-boos that occurred in the past. These are the things that we're usually not so proud of. Can you forgive yourself and move on? Experts tell us that our mistakes should ot define us. Mistakes, and we've all made them, don't make us good or bad. We can learn from them and grow. Then we need to forgive ourselves and move forward. It can be difficult to to do, but once you've forgiven yourself, pat yourself on the back...you, know, for having the courage to forgive and for trying not to make those same mistakes again. And this last one is my favorite...
4. Celebrate your quirks.  We're each one-of-a-kind; unique and special. And thank goodness for that! Imagine a world where veryone was cookie-cutter. How boring would THAT be?  Practice self-celebration. This means learning to embrace your laugh which, until now, you'd thought of as embarrassing. Or learning to love your large "family nose."  Maybe your flaw is your inability to remember names or your crooked smile....
The key is to celebrate those things that make you YOU. But, while you're doing all that celebrating, don't forget to keep growing. Remember to trust the folks in your life...they really do care about you. When they tell you that you need to work on this, or that, don't see it as criticsm. They only want want what's best for you. Often, we can't see what's right in front of us. Thank them for pointing out the flaws we might have overlooked. And remember they, too, have personal needs that they want to have met. This is crucial to keep us from sliding out of self-love and into complacency.
Feeling positive about ourselves takes work. It's better to do a little clean up each day, I think, than it is to wait until you're feeling really bad. Then the motivation is harder to muster up. I do know, though, that when we change our views about ourselves, we can change our circumstances...and our world...in big and impressive ways.
          Hope you had a great weekend! Please come back again tomorrow.

October 21st is set aside each year to observe National Reptile Awareness Day. This is a day for all reptile lovers to celebrate but, more importantly, it's a day for everyone to see the value and beauty in these amazing and diverse creatures. This day promotes conservation, education, and appreciation for all reptiles.
Reptiles are always cold-blooded and are always covered in scales. Being cold-blooded means that their bodies react to the temperature of their suroundings. Reptiles are born on land and have very strong insticts from the start, which means that they are on their own from birth. Reptiles are one of six classifications of animals; amphibians, birds, fish, invertebrates, mammals and, of course, reptiles.
Reptiles are divided into 4 groups. 1. Crocodilians are a large group that include crocadiles, alligators, gharials, and caimans. Crocodilians first appreared over 84 million years ago. Today, there are 23 different species of crocodilians on the planet. 2. Squamates are the most diverse of the reptile family with nearly 7,400 different species. This group consists of snakes, lizards, and worm-lizards. Modern squamates arose about 160 million years ago, during the late Jurassic Period. The earliest lizard fossils date back to between 185 and 165 million years ago. 3. Tuataras are reptiles that are lizard-like in appearance but are different because their skulls are not jointed. This group was once wide-spread but is now down to only 2 species. The first tuatara appeared 220 million years ago, about the same time period as the first dinosaurs. 4. Turtles are among the most ancient of reptiles alive today and have changed very little in the 200 million years they've been around. It is believed that the turtles of today closely resemble the turtles that roamed Earth during the days of the dinosaurs. Pretty cool, eh?
Ok, so why should be care about reptiles? Reptiles play a fundamental role in our ecosystem. These wonderful and helpful creatures impose an important check on insect and rodent populations. Some of the most venomous snakes in the world prevent the spread of disease-carrying rodents, making their usefulness more important than their danger. Crocodiles and alligators can prevent the overpopulation of fish along coastal area. This helps to keep the aquatic ecosystem healthy and balanced. Many reptiles feed off dead animal carcasses, which are called carions. This is especially true of the Komodo Dragon. They play an important role in cleaning up the environment of dead, rotting animals that can spread disease. Reptiles themselves are also prey, meaning that they can become for other animals and humans, as well. 
Reptiles,  just like us amphibians, are bioindicators. The health and abundance of reptiles is used to  gage the health of the ecosystem. Reptiles and amphibians, both, are monitored for changes. This gives scientists a better and clearer understanding of how how the planet is doing. When we're not doing well, neither is Mother Earth! So it easy to see why reptiles are important!
I hope you'll tak a little time today, or over the weekend, to get to  know reptiles. When you become familair with them, and understand their their value, it is easier to see their beauty, as well. Reptiles, like most animals, won't bother you unlss you bother them. And, just like you, they want to be healthy and cared for; to be treated with the respect and dignity that all living creatures deserve.
                                             Happy Reptile Awareness Day!

"Money can't buy happiness." This is a statement that we've heard time and again. And, for the most part it's true. But what IF we could buy happiness? What would that look like...what would we buy?
We're taught, as young children and tadpoles, to spend our money wisely. That, we think, refers to getting the best value for the dollars we spend. Comparison shopping is one way that we can accomplish that. Our cell phones and tablets are filled with apps that notify us as soon as the best deals, on everything from food and fuel to automobiles and sporting goods, become available. We all love saving money on our purchases and, for many of us, it's a necessity if we want to make ends meet. But what about those lucky enough to have disposable income? Those folks might define spending wisely as buying those things which will increase their happiness. That's a whole new way of looking at spending!
More than a decade of research has shown that what we buy can make us happy...or leave us feeling disappointed. The key is to spend money on those things that bring us closer to other people...or, in my case, other frogs! Look at these six "happy speding" categories and you'll see what I mean.
1. Spend money on experiences. This can mean seeing a Broadway play, attending a concert, traveling...even spending money on having coffee with a friend. Research shows that spending on these types of purchases will increase our sense of well-being far more than if we spend our money on new possessions.
2. Spend money on experiences you share with others. Social experiences, rather than solo ones, will increase our sense of satisfaction. Having dinner out with friends, or spending money on a "girl's or boy's weekend" are great examples. Even if you can't immediately share the experience with someone close to you, having a great story to tell afterwards goes along way in making the purchase rewarding. Studies show that the more we can talk about our experience the happier it makes us. And you aren't going to get that from chatting about your new pair of shoes over dinner! Making memories make us happy.
​3. Spend money on other people. If you want to bond with others, you can buy an experience to share with them or, you can spend money on them directly.  In 2008, a study was conducted where participants were given $200 to either spend on themselves or to spend on others that same day. At 5 p.m. they were asked to report back on how they felt regarding their experience. Those who chose to spend the money on others reported being significantly happier than those who spent it on themselves. The same holds true for employees who spend at least some of their bonus money on helping others. Research shows that this effect doesn't just apply to the rich. But that doesn't mean that ALL generous spending results in happiness. We're learning that prosocial spending gives us the most happiness, or bang for our buck. When we treat others and we are there to participate as well, such as inviting someone to lunch and picking up the tab, we gain more happiness than if we give someone a gift certificate to take themselves to lunch. As social creatures, both humans and frogs, enjoy being a direct part of the giving experience.
4. Spend money on the right people. When we spend money on those close to us, we are happier than we spend money on someone who's simply an aquaintance, recent research has shown. Interestingly enough, "early humans who enjoyed helping out other family members were more likely to see their DNA survive," say Lara Aknin, an assistant professor at Simon Fraser University. So how does this impact charitable giving? Good question. It seems that those who can see the impact of their donation are happier than those who can't. Giving locally is one way to see your donations at work.
5. Express your identity through spending. Happiness resulting from experiential spending, is greater in women than in men. It is also higher among young people, the better educated, and the city dweller. Spending habits, and happiness, can be influenced by personality types. Obviously, those with less empathy derive less happiness from prosocial spending than they do with selfish spending. Too, it was shown, that introverts gained more happiness from spending money in a small quiet places, like the local bookstore, while extroverts gained happiness in spending their money in noisier, more crowded establishments...like a bar. And, I would hazzard a guess, that spending money on those charities that we're personally drawn to, will give us more satisfaction that giving money to  cause that's further down our "preferred list." It's all about spending on our personal choices. And, lastly:
6. Spend less time thinking about spending. Several studies have shown that adults are happier around the Christmas holidays when they concentrate on their family and their religion, rather than concentrating on giving and receiving.  A new study out just this year showed that people who value time over money tended to be happier, over all, with the status of their lives. They had more positive emotions and fewer negative ones. (Good to remember as we are nearing the approach the 2016 holiday season.)
It's probably a misconceived idea to pin happiness on purchasing. What we've learned, however, is that ignoring the role buying plays on happiness will, in itself, make us happier. if you concentrate on buying that next big purchase, you aren't as likely to be as happy as the person who is, say, anticipating spending time over the weekend with his/her family. 'Money enables us to lead a life we want,' says coauthor Sandra Matz, a PhD student at the University of Cambridge. As she and her coauthors write, 'Finding the right products to maintain and enhance one’s preferred lifestyle could turn out to be as important to well-being as finding the right job, the right neighborhood, or even the right friends and partners.'
Money isn't inherently evil, although it can sure seem that way sometimes. It is strictly something we use to exchange for goods and services. In and of itself, money has no value; the value comes in what we can do with it. I still believe that money can't buy real happiness, but it's nice to know that we can actually become even happier by spending money on making great memories with those we love.​ Might this be something to keep in mind when you begin your holiday shopping?

By now, most of you know that Wednesday is the day my esteemed teacher, the Dharma Frog, shows up and offers me unique lessons on how to live a better life.  This morning, as usual, Dharma showed up on my lily pad and while I prepared our morning tea and toast, he asked me a question, "Irwin, my boy, do you truly value your principles?" I had to stop and think for a moment about what, exactly, my true principles were. I know they guide my every action and most of my thoughts, but I hadn't ever given any real consideration to what they are. I rely on them automatically, but never stop to give them much thought. But I do value them, so I nodded yes in response to his question. "A frog who values his privileges over his principles will soon loose both. And that, Tadpole, is our lesson for today.
Merriam-Webster defines principles as a rule of conduct of what is right and wrong...a code by which we live; a deeply-held belief that guides our actions. A privelege, on the other hand, is a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available to only a particular person or group of people. We could say that education, for one thing, is a right not a privilege, while driving an automobile is a privilege and not a right. If pivilege supercedes principle, the priciple ceases to exist. Case in point, someone might say that they believe that helping others who are less fortunate is one of their guiding principles...yet they choose not to volunteer or to help out in any way, In other words, the" principle' is only talk, and not a deeply-held believe that guides their actions.
According to Dharma, there are two sources of privilege: external...those granted to us by others, and internal...those that we have because of our principles. If the principle ceases, then the privilege does, too. Example: If one of our principles is to live modestly and save money for a rainy day, should we suddenly become a spendthrift then our privielge of having financial security will soon disappear. My wise teacher and mentor continued to say that if the privilege is extended by an outside source such as a boss, government, or even our friends...that the privilege can quickly disappear once the granting entity gets what they want. Privilges come and go. But deeply held principles can, and should, guide us throutout our lives.
"My young student," Dharma concluded, "Life here in Land of Lily Pad is nearly perfect. We are very fortunate, indeed. But the rest of our planet is in turmoil. Holding on to our beliefs is even more important today. If we let go of those things that truly matter, in exchange for a few extraneous privileges, then we're left with nothing of substance. If we choose to abandon our principles for privileges...soon enough, we will lose both."
This is really common sense, but it's good to be reminded. In a world where we're constantly being bombarded with sentiments that bigger, better, newer will make us happy, it's extra important to remember our basic and guiding principles...those things that will always keep us on our true path and will, ultimately, make us the best version of ourselves that we can be.

As a writer, I know how important it is to find just that right word...
But, often, when we speak, we fall back on our normal vocabulary, totally unaware that the words we use can reflect our implicit biases. We may not think we are prejudice, but our words may say otherwise; that men are stronger than women, or that blondes aren't as smart as brunettes, or that blacks are more violent than whites....
This subtle form of prejudice can be devastating and may influence the way others think about themselves for the rest of their lives. In the past, I've written many times about mindfulness and how we can use it to improve our behaviour and our thoughts. Mindfulnss, it turns out, can lso help us learn new and less hurtful ways of speaking. Researchers call these hidden biases "linguistic intergroup bias"  or LIB. Basically, what this means is that we expect those in our "in-group" to behave positively and those in our "out-group" to behave negatively. This reflects back as a form of "stereotyping" and, as such, may influence the way we speak...and the words we use. These same researchers then wondered if mindfulness could change our perceptions of those in our "out-groups."  Could we, if we thought about what we planned on saying before we said it, actually lessen our biases?  The answer is "YES!"
Often our biases...our stereotypes...are deeply engrained; many times being handed down to us by our parents and grandparents. Mindfulness seems to be a very effective antidote to LIB in the short-term. Researchers are hopeful that, with practice, mindfulnss and language can be lead to long-term changes, as well. We may not have the intention to verbally hurt others, yet the words we choose to use often do just that. Growing evidence suggests mindfulness can reduce 'stereotypical and prejudicial cognition.'
Interacting with people (or frogs) from our "out-groups" can be stressful. This is where mindfulness can, at least partially, play a role in making a difference in how we see these "others." Mindfulness interrupts our initial thought patterns. It could even affect our physical response. Mindfulness, it seems, may not only reduce those "clammy flippers/hands" we get when we're uncomfortable, it may also reduce the prejudice words that come out of our mouths. And who wouldn't want to stop staying hurtful things?
My opinion is that taking even a small step towards seeing "we" instead of "us" and "them" will go along way in making not only our communities, but our world, a better, happier place for all of us. Mindfulness can be that first, small step. So, in a nutshell, "Think before you speak." Do you really mean what you're about to say?  If you're anything like me, then probably not. The words we use are automatic. Words hurt. Becoming more mindful of our language can offer us a quick and easy fix to lessen our biases and the stigma we place on others.