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Hi friends. This blog is a labor of love and I want to continue writing every day for a long time to come. But I need a little help. The fees to maintain this website are getting costly for a little frog. If you enjoy reading my blogs, will you please donate a dollar or two, or whatever you can, to help me keep this site (and blog) up and running? I'm on PayPal at irwinquagmirewart@gmail.com. Thank you!

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October Calendar of Special Days

9/29/2016

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October is here and that can only mean one thing...Halloween. But October has lots more reasons to celebrate than just the spook-tacular 31st.  Check out October's specials days and plan your festivities. There's lots to choose from!
October
1. National Ghost Hunting Day' National Fire Pup Day; National Homemade Cookies Day
2. National Name your Car Day
3.  National Techies Day; National Child Health Day
4.  National Taco Day; National Golf Lover's Day
5  National Pumpkin Seed Day; National Do Something Nice Day (This is a day I can really get behind. Awesome.); National Apple Betty Day; National Walk to School Day
6. National Mad Hatters Day; National Noodle Day
7.  National LED Light Day; National Frappe Day
8.  National Fluffernutter Day (I like mine with peanut butter and jelly); National Touch Tag Day; National Costume Swap Day; National Motorcycle Ride Day
9.  National Leif Erikson Day;National Moldy Cheese Day; National Chess Day
10.  National Angel Food Cake Day; National Handbag Day (Or purse, if you prefer); Columbus Day
11.  Naional Sausage Pizza Day
12.  National Freethought Day; National Farmers Day (Let's celebrate these folks all day every day for keeping us all fed!); National Take Your Parents to Lunch Day; National Fossil Day; National Bring YourTeddy Bear to Work/School Day (Or, perhaps, your frog???); National Stop Bullying Day (This is an awesome day to celebrate!)
13.  National Train Your Brain Day; National Yorkshire Pudding Day
14.  National Dessert Day; Be Bald and Be Free Day
15. National I Love Lucy Day; National Cake Decorating Day; National Grouch Day; National White Cane Day; National Sweetest Day
16.  National Dictionary Day; National Ferel Cat Day (One of my favorites!); Department Store Day (A little retail therapy anyone?)
17. National Edge Day (Straight Edge is a subculture of hard core punk folks who refrain from using alcohol, tobacco, and other recreational drugs); National Mulligan Day (for all you golfers, but for the rest of us it's a do-over day...and we can all use one of those!)); National Pasta Day; National Alternative Fuel Day (Yippee!); Black Poetry Day, Boss's Day; National Clean Your Virtual Desktop Day (Need to unload some junk of your laptop? This is your day to fill up the virtual trashcan...then remember to empty it!)
18.  National Cupcake Day; National No Beard Day
19.  Hagfish Day (a most unattractive species...but the day was set aside to remind us all to look beyond the exterior and see the beauty within.); Support Your Local Chamber of Commerce Day; National LGBT Center Awareness Day; 
20.  Get Smart About Credit Day; Get to Know Your Customers Day
21.  National Pumpkin Cheesecake Day (Yum!); National Reptile Awareness Day (I love this day...snakes need love, too!)
22.  National Nut Day; National Color Day (My favorite's green...I'm just sayin'); National Make a Difference Day (Something we can all strive to do.)
23.  National Boston Cream Pie Day; National Mole Day; Swallows Depart From San Juan Capistrano Day
24.  National Food Day (It's kind of necessary...); United Nations Day (Why not celebrate the two by making/serving different foods from around the world?)
25.  Sourest Day; Chucky the Notorious Killer Day Day (I don't plan on celebrating but perhaps you might.)
26.  National Pumpkin Day; National Mincemeat Day
27. National Navy Day (A day to salute all the men and woman who have served, or are currently serving, in the US Navy.)
28.  National Chocolate Day (I vote this be celerated EVERY day!); National Frankenstein Friday
29.  National Cat Day (Meow); National Hermit Day (This doesn't make sense to me; hermits don't like people so, do they party alone? That can't be much fun...)
30.  National Speak up for Service Day (A day set aside to teach young people the value in participating in community service; volunteering, running for office, clean-up, etc); National Candy Corn Day (Stock up on this for tomorrow!)
31.  National Caramel Apple Day; National Knock-KnockJokes Day (You know I'll have a frog joke...); National Magic Day; Girl Scouts Founders Day and, of course, HALLOWEEN!
                                Have a Great Month Everyone and Party On!
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Learning to appreciate neutrals, and other stuff

9/29/2016

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How often have you heard...or, perhaps, even said, "Go big, or go home." Yet we all know that bigger isn't always better. In fact, "The best things in life are free" said the ever-fabulous Coco Chanel (which is an odd thing for her to say, given the price of her clothes and accessories...but I digress). It seems like everyone and every thing is conspiring to make us appreciate the simple pleasures even less by constantly drilling it into our heads that everything must be bigger, better, newer...or it's no good.
There's nothing wrong with big...after all, some of my best friends are humans (and you're all HUGE)...but let's just not put ALL of our emphasis on size or cost. And what about forget about color? Humans, and frogs, too, love colors...bright yellows, greens, red, oranges, blues, and violets. Admittedly, they are stunning colors. But there's something to be said about the neutrals, too. Case in point; most frogs are beautifully colored but the humble toad, for the most part, is brown, or some version of brown. And toads are good, aren't they? Sometimes we just need neutrals to balance out the picture. We can't all be at the top of the heap and not all of us want to be. We know that the air up there is rarified...and it can get pretty loney. Besides, when you're at the top, there's no place to go but down. 
Learning to appreciate the simple things in life makes us happier and feel more appreciative. In reality, the things most of us remember as the years go by, are the fun things we did with our childhood friends. We remember the giggle of children and look of awe on their faces during Christmas, as they gaze at the beautifully decorated shop windows. And what about that sunset when your beau kissed you for the first time? These are the things that make life worth living...not the cars, boats, houses, and BIG jobs. Your bright shiny new cell phone will be long forgotten, as well, when the new version comes out six months from now. Appreciate that life is made up of moments, not things. If this makes sense to you, but you're not enjoying the simple pleasures in your life, here are a few tips to help shift your focus.
1. Every day, even those bad ones, has one or two good moments. Focus on those...not the bad ones. 2. Take some time each day to stop and smell the roses...or coffee..or whatever pleases you. Really drink it the beauty, smell, sounds of the things you love. 3. Listen to the music that truly moves you. Dust off the ol' iPod and play some tunes. Music is very uplifting. And nowadays, tunes are pretty cheap. You can purchase a new song for a couple of dollars, or less. 4. Spend time with family and friends and appreciate your time together...cook, then share, a meal, go for a walk, play hooky from work and take a leisurely bubble bath. 5. Listen to music or watch a favorite old film.
Need a few other suggestions? Nature is FULL of wonders for all to enjoy.
Enjoy your lunch outdoors - the feel of sunshine on your face can be uplifting; watching children play and laugh; a smile from a stranger...or give one and see them smile back; a small victory, like fixing theleaky faucet on your own; indulging in a snack, or beverage, you enjoy but rarely ever have; playing a game you loved as a kid; a half hour extra sleep; an opportunity to be creative - start a journal, scrapbooking, etc; a long phone or Skype conversation with someone you haven't seen in awhile; petting your cat or dog.
There are loads of little things to enjoy, and all of them are free! (compliments of Mother Nature) Sunrise/sunset, birds singing, frogs croaking, wildflowers, the rustling of fallen leaves as you walk through them, snowflakes, just to name a few.
Come to think of it, they aren't such little things after all...They're really pretty awesome.
The world is a bountiful place. And when we come to appreciate all those things we usually take for granted, we begin to realize that every single one of us is rich beyond our wildest dreams.
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Giving and Receiving vs. Doing and Taking.

9/28/2016

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With the cooler weather of fall, I'm having a difficult time getting out of bed in the mornings. It's still dark outside when my alarm goes off and my bed is toasty warm and comfy. Getting up just isn't as much fun as it was even a few weeks ago. But, it is Wednesday and I must prepare for my weekly lesson with the Dharma Frog. As I stumble out of bed, I realize that I don't have much to offer him for breakfast so, after I put the kettle on for tea, I hop next door to my neighbor and borrow a few slices of bread and a couple of eggs. Dharma seems to really enjoy my French Frog Toast, so that is what I decide to make. Just as the tea kettle begins to whistle, the Wise One hops onto my lily pad. And without any fanfare, he begins my lesson just as soon as the tea is poured.
"Irwin, a frog who will take must first give - this is the beginning of intelligence." I'm not awake enough to quite comprehend the full meaning of this but I smile anyway, as if I get it. I know evetually the meaning will become clear. Then Dharma begins to explain. He starts of with a simple definition of intelligence; "Intelligence has been defined in many ways including one's capacity for logic, understanding, self-awareness, learning, emotional knowledge, planning, creativity, and problem-solving; to preceive information and retain it as knowledge." So what does this have to do with the act of giving and receiving, I wondered. Dharma must have read my mind because be gave me the answer.
We often say the, "He/She is a wonderful person...a real giver." But giving isn't a solo activity. My teacher said that in order to give, there must be a receiver; both parts must be present in order to complete the act. We often forget this. It's important, too, to learn the difference between giving and receiving vs, doing and taking. Dharma explained to me that if we feel empty by our giving, giving, giving...and often feel that we are getting nothing in return, the act is probably doing...not giving. And when we "do" there are always an abundance of "takers."  The act of giving and receiving involves circulation; what goes around eventually comes around. Everything in the universe circulates; a river must circulate to keep everything alive and vital. So, too, the blood in our bodies must circulate. If it doesn't, clots are formed and, eventually, the clot will kill us. The universe "operates in a dynamic exchange; giving and receiving are different aspects of the flow of energy," says Deepak Chopra, an expert in mind/body medicine. So, if giving and receiving must travel hand-in-hand why, then, does it feel good to give and feel uncomfortable to receive? "Tadpole, we often equate receiving with shame and weakness; traits that both humans and us frogs, believe make us inferior in some way. There are only a few who truly ever master the art of receiving."
To receive, requires us to open up; to let go, become humble, and trust the giver. This isn't an easy procss for anyone. But, thankfully, Dharma has given me a few, simple exercises to help encourge receiving. For without the ability to receive graciously and humbly, we cannot really know how to give.
1. Accept all compliments. Be thankful for the compliment and say "Thank you."
2. Have gratitude. Be grateful for all you have; count your blessings.
3. Allow yourself to be YOU. Learn to love yourself...all of your strengths and weaknesses. It's important to learn to love our warts as much as our "beauty marks."
Try not to pretend to be perfect. Your not. No one is. By showing only your strengths, you aren't being real. Being real facilitates both giving AND receiving. It allows us to see ourselves in others.
4. Stop complaining. What we are really saying, when we complain, is that we're not happy with what we're receiving. Have you ever given someone a gift and they "blew it off" because it wasn't what they really wante? it didn't feel good, did it? Complaining is just like that. When we complain, in essence, we're blowing off the universe who's given us a gift. It may not always be what we want, but you rest assured, it's what we need.
If someone is capable of receiving, the act of giving is complete and both sides benefit greatly from this process. But if the receiver is unable to accept, then disappoint, powerlessness, and guilt ensue. This only makes the situation bad for everyone involved. Giving and receiving is Yin and Yang; perfect balance. 
Receiving is much harder for us to learn than is the art of giving. But it is a most important lesson. When we can both give and receive, gratitude, love, and empathy grow immeasurably. And there is no greater intellence; no greater knowledge.
As I was tidying up after my lesson, I remembered a quote from Buddha.
"Before giving, the mind of the giver is happy; while giving, the mind of the giver is made peaceful; and having given, the mind of the giver is uplifted." We can take this one step further and add that the receiver is also happy, peaceful, uplifted, and filled with gratitude. And when this happens, it becomes the perfect act.
Normally, I would close and say to go out and give to everyone you meet today; a flower, a smile, a compliment. Instead, I will suggest that we all try to work on receiving. Be gracious and humble for every gift you receive. Even the ones you may not want.
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Sick as a frog....

9/27/2016

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Back in the late 1990's, a man named Peter Levine developed a new therapy for dealing with PTSD and other types of traumas. It's called Somatic Experiencing. It's main goal is to help resolve the physical symptons of trauma that reside in the human body long after the traumatic event has ended. It's based, in large part, on his observation of animals in the wild and the way they instinctively know how to deal with and recover, physically and mentally, from life-altering situations. Minutes after being chased by a predator, the animal can be seen leisurly munching grass as if nothing bad had happened. The trauma has been "shaken off" and the wild animal simply continues on with the business of living his life. Humans, though, tend to hang on to the stress and tension in their bodies; where it can cause all kinds of physical problems years after the traumatic event occurred. Most humans don't know "to shake it off." But you can learn. One needn't suffer from PTSD, or other trauma, to utilize the benefits of Somatic Experiencing; it can be helpful with every big decision or tough situation we encounter. 
Many ancient wisdom traditions tell us to tap into the wisdom of our bodies. This thinking, of course, made me wonder why, if the human body is so smart, it doesn't know to automatically shake off the residual trauma after the threat has past. My research shows that it's because humans don't ever get in touch with what their bodies tell them. There's a huge disconnect between the head and the rest of them. 
The human mind speaks in words, making it easier to understand exactly what it's trying to tell you. The body, on the other hand, speaks a wordless language all its own...churning stomach, tightness felt in the neck and shoulders, a quickening of the heartbeat and pulse...
These are are the "words" your body uses to convey it has a problem. More often than not, I bet, you don't take the time to listen and simply reach for an antacid, or other OTC medication, and continue on your merry way. But the body won't let you ignore it forever and, eventually, it'll start screaming at you in the form of serious pain or with a chronic disease. And you'll wonder where THAT came from all of a sudden...But it isn't really "all of a sudden. It's probably been lingering on the back burner, simmering away for a long time.
The body and mind have key, but different roles, in helping you make major life decisions. Usually, however, when making that final big decision we rely on our body for the deciding vote...that gut-level feeling we always get whenever we are about to embark on a life-altering path.
The human body can alert you when you are "out of integrity"...that means when your heart, mind, and feet are all moving in the same direction; your true alignment.  Sometimes, unconsciously, humans and us frogs, too, will drift off course. If we listen, our bodies will send us an early warning system. Our bodies will let us know that something is wrong speaking to us with physical sensations, like illness or pain.  By listening more closely, we can save ourselves some needless trouble down the line.
But what happens when those "feelings" come faster than we can "sort out" and vocalize? Experts say that the best way to make ourselves more sensitive to our body's language is to stay clear of those things that desensitize us; alcohol, drugs, and food (over-eating) and by cutting back on behaviors that tend to numb; things like watching too much TV and spending too many hours "chillin' out" in front of mindless video games. Science tells us that when we become properly and fully sensitive to what our bodies are trying to tell us, they won't allow us to remain in situations that aren't good for us for very long. We'll receive their message loud and clear and then, hopefully, make the necessary corrections.
But sometimes the human body can be wrong. It's important to learn how to interpret the messages it sends. In order to clearly hear and tap into the wisdom of your body, and thus understand it's true intent, two things are necessary to learn.
1. Learn to differentiate between feelings and emotional reactions. Feelings are the body's natural response to what is going on around us in the present moment. Emotional reactions are the body and mind's way of living out past history and placing those fears and uncertaintities onto what we think may happen in the future. I read, recently, a super anacronym for fear; Fantasy Expectations Appearing Real. 2. Even when we may not be in a situation that is bad for us, we often have sensations of fear or anxiety...this is due to homeostasis.  That is the body's way of staying the same. It shows up as the desire to stay in "our comfort zone" even when it's clear that a change is needed, thus causing anxiety, stress, and uncertainty about the future. The larger the change and the faster it happens, the stronger the reaction. 
Learning to listen to, and respect, the clues you body gives you can provide you with valuable information in every uncomfortable situation. When humans pay attention to their body's language, it becomes easier to deal with, and accept, changes rather than revert to the old automatic, knee-jerk responses you've relied on for years. Just because it worked then, doesn't mean it'll work now.
The human body and mind can be wonderful allies; friends that inform and support our decision-making process. It is very important, however, to learn how to maximize this wisdom and come to know the strengths and limitations of your body and mind. So the next time you get a little ache or pain that seems to come from nowhere, take a few minutes and tune in to see what's really going on.
​Life is meant to ebb and flow, and it will do that much more effectively...and with a lot less stress...if everyone will simple will take the time to learn their own unique body language. This is one "foreign language" that you'll actually use once you master it...and with no passport required. 
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OMG! It's Monday already.

9/26/2016

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Generally speaking, I like Mondays. It’s the beginning of a brand new week; a fresh start full of hope and promise. Monday’s are a blank slate filled with possibilities. Generally speaking. But this Monday is different. Perhaps it’s because I spent most of the weekend outside, enjoying the majesty of autumn and now I’m back on the lily pad trying to concentrate on work. To add insult to injury, the weather today, here in Land of Lily Pad, is awful. It’s cool and raining very, very hard. If truth be told, I’d much rather crawl back into bed and go to sleep.
But, in typical Irwin fashion, instead of crashing and letting the day get the better of me, I decided to “hop” online and do a little research, looking for ways to lift myself out of my Monday funk and get me back to my usual chipper self.
Science show that more heart attacks happen on Monday than any other day of the week. And we weigh our heaviest on Mondays…probably due to all the extra food and beverage we consume on the weekends. Too, our sleep patterns get thrown off. We tend to stay up later on Friday and Saturday nights and sleep in later in the mornings. This can lead us to feel unhappy. Since humans, and frogs alike, tend be our happiest on the weekends it follows, then, that on Monday we would feel the least happy…if only by comparison.
So how do the experts say we can counteract the dreaded Monday Blues? Here are the top 10 ways to make Monday a great day!
  1. Get enough sleep. This means going to bed a little earlier than normal. Don’t stay up later, thinking that it will help make the weekend last longer. It may, but on Monday morning you’ll feel even worse.
  2. Meditate, or sit in silence, every morning and center yourself, You’ll be surprised at how much brighter the world will look.
  3. Allow more time…for everything. Rushing around and sitting in traffic when you’re already running late, will do very little to improve your mood. Give yourself extra time. You’ll be glad you did.
  4. Eat a balanced breakfast. Your body needs fuel to function well so remember to eat nourishing foods. Grabbing a sugar donut and an extra cup pf coffee may taste good, but it won’t make your body run at its peak. And you'll be even more sluggish after the sugar-high wears off.
  5. Rethink your commute. If you drive to work, or school, the shortest way possible it’s very likely that everyone else is doing the exact same thing. Try going a longer, less crowded route. Use the extra time to listen to your favorite tunes, books on tape, or an interesting podcast.
  6. Plan your day. I find it helpful to organize myself on Mondays. It helps me to accomplish more and sets me on a clear path for the entire day, as well as the rest of the week. If I don’t organize myself, I find it easy to get off-track and that can lead to feelings of frustration and the sense that I’m “spinning my wheels.”
  7. Clear the clutter. Every Friday afternoon, before I finish up my official work week, I like to spend a little time clearing up my desk. Sitting down to work on Monday with a nice clean desk and workspace, makes me feel good about starting a new project…or finishing up one that I’ve already begun. Adding a vase of fresh flowers, on Monday, can certainly make the day more appealing, as well.
  8. Be positive. If you keep telling yourself you hate Mondays and always get the blues, you will create a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you think about the great things you can do with your day and the new week ahead, you’ll feel happier and more uplifted.
  9. Schedule and exercise. Yep. Every day is a good day to get exercise, but Mondays are especially important. Why? When we get our blood pumping and get moving, it boosts our serotonin levels, making us feel better, happier and, thus, we become more productive.
  10. Count your blessings. Use gratitude to lift yourself out of the doldrums. There’s never a bad time to be grateful for all you have. And Monday is no exception.
I hope these tips will help you feel cheerier. I know I feel better already…just from doing a little of what makes me happy; writing and sharing interesting stuff with you, the reader.
​                           Enjoy your week. I know it’s going to be a great one!
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Fall or Autumn?

9/22/2016

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Fall is officially here...at least in the Northern Hempisphere, and it feels glorious! The air is beginning to feel a little crisp, the leaves are beginning to turn brilliant colors, and the farmer's markets are filled with apples, fresh-squeezed cider, and pumpkins of all shapes and sizes.
While Labor Day signals the unofficial end of summer, fall officially arrives on September 22nd or 23rd, and ends with the winter solstice in late December. Meteorological autumn begins September 1st and ends sooner.
As I mentioned earlier, the fall season brings about much appreciated cooler weather after the intense heat of summer. Fall also brings about other changes,too; fog, hurricanes, floods, tornadoes, frosts and freezes and, sometimes, the first snow of the colder seasons. But what actually happens to makes these weather changes occur?
On the fall equinox, the sun's direct rays strike along the equator and the earth's axis is equidistant from the sun, meaning we're not tilted towards...or away from...the sun. Earth is pretty much straight up and down.  This happens to be true, too, on the spring equinox; the difference comes from how our planet faces the sun. Since Earth travels eastward around the sun, on the autumnal equinox the Northern Hemisphere is transitioning from direct to indirect sunlight...causing cooling temperatures.
As soon as late August, you may begin to notice that mornings aren't as bright as they were in July. And the days start getting shorter. To coordinate our lives with the changes in daylight, we adjust our clocks. We "fall back" and gain an hour as we switch from Daylight Saving Time to Standard Time
 This time of year is the only season to have two names; fall and autumn. the use of the term autumn dates back to the 14th century when it was adopted into the English language from the French word automne. The word fall which refers to the dropping, or falling of leaves around this time of year, dates back to the 17th century. Although both terms have been used since the 18th century, the term fall is more popular in the US while autumn is used more in Great Britain.
I came across several interesting facts about fall...or autumn...that I sure didn't know. How many of these fun fall facts do you know?
1. Since ancient times, autumn has been classified as one of the most important times of the year, because a bountiful harvest is necessary for survival. 2. Autumn babies, those born between September and November are twice as likely to reach age 100 as the rest of the population. 3. Men think women are more attactive in the cooler months. 4. The harvest moon is the full moon closest to the fall equinox. Before artificial lighting, the farmers relied on the brightness of the harvest moon to give them enough natural light to harvest their crops. 5. In response to cooler weather, trees stop producing chlorophyll, the green pigment that gives leaves their color. As the green fades, other pigments become more prominent, thus the yellows, golds, reds, and oranges appear before the leaves turn brown and fall off. 6. Scientists believe global warnming can affect autumn's colors and may alter the habitats of certain trees. 7. Each fall, the black-capped chickadee's tiny hippocampus enlarges by 30% which enables it to remember where it collected seeds in different trees and on the ground. 8. According to Greek legend, autumn begins when Persephone returns to Hades in the underworld. Heartbroken, her mother the goddess of grain and harvest, allows the crops on Earth to die until her daughter returns again in the spring. 9. Heart attacks and auto accidents increase after the start of daylight saving time in the spring, and decrease the Monday after daylight saving time ends. 10. According to superstition, catching falling autumn leaves brings good luck.
This weekend, little Quigley and I will go for a hop through the woods and I will marvel at the lovely fall foliage. Later, we'll warm ourselves with a cup of hot mulled cider at the local Farmer's Market. This is such a super time of year to enjoy the great out-of- doors!
​Whatever you do this weekend, have a great time, stay safe, and I hope to see you back here on Monday!
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When the boss apologizes.

9/22/2016

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Learning to forgive is an important lesson. For some reason, it seems to be harder to forgive those we work with than it is, say, our family, friends, and even strangers. As I writer, I don't normally work with others; writing is a solitary occupation. But many of my friends work in large office buildings in downtown City of Swamp. And they tell me that apologies from supervisors and bosses often don't ring true and are difficult to accept. Why? Because power is a tricky thing.
Forgiveness, for those in power positions, is hard to come by. Most of us are cynical of our bosses; we like to believe that they have a hidden agenda. Not accepting apologies from those "higher up" can cause long-term issues for both the boss and the subordinate. For businesses and corporations, this can be very bad news.
Studies show that employees who harbor grudges are less productive, less collabrative, and less engaged. Instead, these workers will be more stressed and more aggressive...when apologies for transgressions from superiors are not readily accepted. Interestingly enough, subordinates were more likely to be forgiven by their bosses when they apologized, but those in power were not. They were less likely to be forgiven, in general, and apologies seemed to only muddy the waters.
So what is a well-intentioned leader supposed to do after offending, or harming, a subordinate? Recent studies have shown that the simple, "I'm sorry for what happened" isn't effective, or believable, when managers offered it to their subordinates. It must go deeper. The most important elements for any apology to be effective, should always include: empathy, remorse, taking responsibility, and offers of reparation. And this can be said of every apology, no matter who's apologizing or what's being apologized for. 
Forgiving allows us to overcome our feelings of resentment, anger, and revenge. The steemed medical institution, The Mayo Clinic, tells us that the act of "not forgiving" can be more detrimental to us than to the transgressor. Holding on to a grudge and resentment can: bring anger and resentment into relationships, weakening them and causing them, in many instances, to disintergrate; cause us to live in the past and not enjoy the future; make us more depressed and anxious; leave us feeling uneasy and lacking purpose; and we lose valuable connectedness with others by being cynical and wary of other's motives.
Consider the value of forgiveness in your life. Actively choose to forgive the other person, when you're ready, and move away from your role as victim; thereby releasing the power and conrol the offending person/situation has on you and your ability to enjoy your life. 
Forgiving others can difficult, especially when the apology comes from someone in a position of power. But it's always in our best interest to try. We often make our lives more difficult than they have to be. Learning to forgive, and then putting it into practice, is one of the best ways we can "lessen our burdens" and move forward with grace and dignity.
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This is an exercise routine for everyone.

9/21/2016

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It's Wednesday again, already. And that means my beloved teacher, the Dharma Frog, has stopped by for my weekly lesson. I had received an email from him earlier in the week, saying that our lesson would focus on strength-training. I thought this an odd topic for Dharma, but I figured he must have his reasons. Now anyone who knows me well, knows that I'm not much of a gym rat; lifting wights has never been my thing. But I dusted off my barbells anyway, put on my athletic clothes, and got ready for my workout. I'm tired already...
As soon as I had put on my spandex shorts, Dharma hopped onto my pad and began to giggle. I felt a little self-conscious, I know my legs are little on the thin side, but I soon learned that he wasn't laughing at me, as much as he was laughing at the preposterous notion that I actually thought we were going to engage in a physical workout! "Irwin" said the master, "today, we are going to learn how to conquer ourselves. And for that, we need mental stength and agility." I replied, happily. "Thank goodness, Dharma! You know I'm not very athletic...even though I try to stay fit." And with that, our lesson began.
Conquering ourselves begins with knowing who we are. Oddly enough most frogs, and I dare say most humans, don't have a clue as to who they are. Often our self-image differs greatly from how others see us. I know I like to come acoss as strong and confident but the truth is, like many others, I don't always have an easy time knowing how to behave or how to make decsions that are best for me. This can cause success, and even happiness, seem very elusive. As Dharma explained it, this is caused by inner conflicts.
These days, we struggle to find our true path; we are pulled in many different directions. Why? Because many different entities are competing for your identity. Some of those may be real frogs (or humans) in our lives...parents, friends, relatives, co-workers, bosses...while some of them are the positive, or negative, role models that we've adopted.  Then, let's not foget all those nagging voices in our heads. They're always relling us what we should, or shouldn't, do, say, and think.  Yep. The mind of the average frog, and human, too, is a very busy place! And just like going to the gym, working out our inner "kinks" takes practice and lots of hard work. But the Dharma Frog assured me that it'll be all worth it. And I trust what he says.
Some of the more common inner conflicts humans face are good vs. bad; no, I don't mean evil bad but little stuff like playing hooky when you should be working. I grapple with this one all the time...should I goof off and go for a swim, or should I sit at my keyboard and get some work done. Another conflict that arises in most everyone is, "Have I set the bar too high for myself?" This often means that if we don't reach that goal, or dream, will we feel disappointed in ourselves and unable to forgive our shortcomings? And the third most common inner-conflict is, "What kind of leader am I? Am I inspirational and motivational...or super-driven to WIN at all costs?" This conflict can range from leading a team at work,  to your son's little league team, or even just the way you are parenting your children.
My wise teacher has given me three relatively simple ways to conquer ourselves; to quiet those fears and doubts that prevent us from living our true and happy life. They may be simple, but that doesn't make them easy. Aything worth doing, takes a little hard work.
The first one is: Grow Up! You may think you are already a grown-up, but there is a big difference from living in an adult body and living with a mature mind. Being a true grown up means being happy in your skin, mastering your emotions, and living a happy, relatively stable and balanced life. Until you can master your emotions and become happy and contented with who and what you are, not much else can change. Growing up, then, becomes the single, biggest hurrdle any of us has to face. Next on the list is Go easy on the role models and mentors. We run into problems every time we put someone up on a pedestal and say, "I want to be just like him/her."  Let's be realistic, no one is perfect...not even Dharma frog, although he comes pretty close! It's best, my teacher advises, to stick with specific goals and attributes that you aspire to, rathe than wanting to be like someone else. Be you and the best version of you. Stay clear of unattainable goals. A goal of 'being as rich as Warren Biffet' or 'being able to boss loads of people arounf like Donald Trump' well, let's just say, those goals will never serve you well. And, lastly, Identify those voices in your head. Spending time with yourself is a great way to learn who you are. Are those YOUR voices? Or are the voices of people from your past? Understand those voices and where they are coming from. Get to know them and understand them. In time, you'll be able to conquer them. When those voices are vanquished, you'll be more comfortable with your behavior. This will, in turn, make your decision-making easier; your decisions will reflect who you truly are. Dharma Frog has told me that when I learn to conquer myself, I'll be able to look in mirror and see (and LOVE) the real me and not some made-up complilation of other people; their thoughts, aspirations, hopes, and dreams. Nobody has everything worked out all the time. The best that we frogs, and you humans, can hope for is to do and be the best we can, each and every day. The wise old frog reminded me, "Remember, Tadpole, the frog who conquers others is strong. But the frog who conquers himself is mighty."
As soon as Dharma finished his tea and hopped away, I rushed to take off my athletic gear. Pretending to be something I'm not...like one of those weekend gym warriors...isn't going to help me grow up. I know the kind of workout routine that both my mind, and my body, need to become strong and powerful. So, I'm off now to try and be more of my authentic self. And that just MAY require an afternoon nap...and I'm OK with that.
Thanks for reading and I hope you'll come back tomorrow. You are always appreciated!
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Those annoying, blood-sucking pests!

9/20/2016

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I'm going out on a limb here, today, and talk about someting I thoroughly enjoy, but most humans hate....and that is the lowly mosquito. There is no love-loss between humans and this delicious-tasting insect. And the current spread of the Zika virus isn't helping their cause any. So, is there any reason to like mosquitoes, I mean if your not a frog or a bird? The answer may suprise you.
Humans, and many animals alike, have found these buzzing, biting, blood-thirty creatures to be nothing more than an annoyance. This brings to mine an old frog joke. Why are frogs always so happy? Because they eat whatever bugs them. But humans aren't blessed with a super-long, sticky tongue as we frogs are. Many humans see mosquitoes as having the evil intention of wiping out the entire human race. At times, it can seem that that way.  Did you know that that small, arm-chewing blood-guzzling insect is actually considered to be the dealiest insect on Earth? It is! Insects spread diseases like malaria, dengue fever, yellow fever and, now, Zika. And let's not forget our 4-legged friends. Mosquitoes breed heartworms. With so many strikes against them, it can be difficult to imagine that mosquitoes fulfills any usefull purpose. But they do.
Mosquito larvae are aquatic insects and, thus, play an important role in the aquatic food chain. Mosquito larvae are "filter feeders that strain tiny organic particles such as unicellular algae from the water and convert them to the issues of their own bodies which are, in turn, eaten by fish," states Dr. Walgbauer in his book "The Handy Bug Answer Book."  Mosquito larvae, as it turns out, is a protein-rich snack for fishies and other aquatic animals. But their role on the bottom of the food chain doesn't end at at the larvae stage. The adult mosquitoes becomes tasy treats for birds, bats, spiders, and the occaisonal frog. No matter how much humans loathe mosquitoes, they represent a considerable biomass of food for wildlife on the lower rungs of the food chain. Their extinction, were that even possible, would have an extreme adverse effect on the ecosystem. You may not like mosquitoes but they do, in fact, serve a useful purpose. And admit it, you do like the birds, bats, fish, and other aquatic animals that need mosquitoes to survive.
Here are the top 10 facts that you may, or not, know about the irritating mosquito:
10.  Mosquitoes can detect carbon monoxide from 75 feet away!
9.  An adult mosquito, if not squished by a human or eaten by me, may live 5-6 months.
8.  All mosquitoes require water to breed. Some species can bred in puddles that form after a good rain. If you truly want to rid your house/property of mosquitoes, you must be vigilant to dump ANY standing water.
7.  Salt marsh mosquitoes can travel up to 100 miles from their larval breeding ground.
6.  A mosquito's mate synchronizes their wing beats to perform a "lover's duet."
5.  A mosquito flaps his wings 500-600 times per second!
4.  Mosquitoes fly at speeds of 1 to 1.5 miles per hour.
3. Some mosquitoes don't bite humans but prefer other "delicacies" such as amphibians or birds. 
2.  Only female mosquitoes bite humans; males feed on flower nectar.
And the top fact about mosquitoes...and I mentioned this one earlier, but it bears repeating...
1.  They are the deadliest insects on Earth!
So, whether or not this information has swayed your viewpoint on mosquitoes is up to you; but mosquitoes are an evil necessity.  Rather than trying to kill them off, let's look at learning to live with them the best way we can. That means emptying all standing water and wearing a really good insect repellent whenever you're outside. And don't forget to protect your dogs and cats! They need protection, too.
Now it's time for me to hop off and catch a few of those irritating bugs for my breakfast. (Yet another reason to love frogs...)
See you tomorrow!
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It's all over social media.

9/18/2016

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Social media. We all know what it is...or think we do. We see articles all the time that warn of the dangers that social media can inflict on young, impressiononable children. We are told to limit their expose to it. But what abou us adults? Even though we know, by now (hopefully), what we think, believe in, and how we should act, is it possible for social media to sway our grownup minds? You bet.
Social media has done much to make the world a smaller place; by keeping us all connected by this or that electronic gadget. Social media does, indeed, offer many positive benefits. We no longer have to subscribe to a morning paper to get the latest headlines. Blogs and forums offer a variety of information and viewpoints. We can now meet our potential mate without ever having to leave the comfort of our easy chair. But it can have devasting and depremental effects, too. News is the perfect example.
Take any big media story; wildfires, terrorism, natural disasters...any one will do. Depending on the angle/viewpoint the media uses to cover it, we can think about only the negative aspects of the event, or we can can see some good. Case in point: Hurricane Katrina. The news media focused a great deal of attention on the fact that African Americans were looting all of the storm-ravaged businesses...stealing them blind. Not nearly as much attention was given, unfortunately, to the countless volunteers who worked day and night rescuing people, saving stranded pets, and giving aid to the sick, injured, and dying. There's no denying that Hurricane Katrina was a brutal act of nature, we all got that, but why focus on things like only a few individuals, from a certain minority group. that may have been doing something bad? Why? Because it fosters racial tension. And gets higher ratings. Social media can not only influence our believes, but can also turn us into something we're not; hate mongers. If we hear things over and over again, it becomes very easy to start believing what we're told; and lose sight of what we know, at our core level, to be true. Mind control isn't anything new; it just that know it's a common everyday occurence and not something that's only used in war, or by dictorships and fascist governments to control their citizens. We can fall victim to it, unwittingly, every time we turn on our computer or TV.
Media influences our spending, our views on politics, sexual attitudes, body image, as well as race relations, celebrityism, and just about every aspect of our lives. So, does the good  outweigh the bad? Each of us has our own opinion on the subject, and it's not up to me to say yes or no. We each have to decide for ourselves what we want to do with all the social media that abounds these days.
There are ways, however, to use the many benefits of social media and still not get sucked into their hype:
Limit the amount of social media that you use everyday. Too much of a good thing, in this case anyway, can be bad...really bad. And watch or listen to several different points of view before deciding who or what to believe. Think about it, what version of the story fits with your closest, true beliefs about the world and who' way out in left field?Monitor what you watch. By now, we all know who the good purveyors of news are and who are the ones that tend to promote bad stuff. Why watch negativity when there is positive and good things happening all the time? To find it, we may jsut simply need to change the change or find a new "app." I don't mean we should become like the proverbial ostrich with it's head in the sand. Watch what you need to watch to get a well-rounded view of the event, person, or situation. Then, make up your own mind. There's no need to focus solely on the negatives. That isn't going to help make anything better. Learn to decipher what's true and what's someone's point of view. That isn't always easy but, with a little practice, we can tell who's giving us "just the facts, m'am" and who's spounting their own beliefs and trying to convince us to change our's to their's. And if you're in the market for a new social media outlet, talk to friends and family about which ones they use and seem to enjoy. With so many choices...all vying for our attention, we have many, many options. And some are WAY better than others. Support the ones that are legitimately trying to do good or, at least, not purposefully trying to cause harm. Finally, and this is a big one, learn to trust your own judgement. Just because Celebrity XYZ believes something or other, doesn't mean we have to, as well.
We each have been given a mind that is capable of great feats. One of which is deciding what we want to believe, what our points of views are. We have an GPS syatem that guides us, if we listen to it, to do and think the right things. Having a clear sense of self and what we stand for, at our very basic core, can help us immeasurably when it comes to sorting out the angles and devils on social media. Just because it's on social media, does not make it true!
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    Land of Lily Pad's first published author. I enjoy writing fun and educational books for kids. My blog is for you parents; the kiddos might like some of them, too. As always, everything I write is family-friendly, so don't hesitate to share my messages with everyone. I hope you find them helpful and maybe even inspirational. Cheers! 

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