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Hi friends. This blog is a labor of love and I want to continue writing every day for a long time to come. But I need a little help. The fees to maintain this website are getting costly for a little frog. If you enjoy reading my blogs, will you please donate a dollar or two, or whatever you can, to help me keep this site (and blog) up and running? I'm on PayPal at irwinquagmirewart@gmail.com. Thank you!

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July's Special Days.

6/28/2019

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If you ask me, this summer and especially this month are just flying by. And here we are at the end of June, looking ahead to all the wonderful things to celebrate in July. With the kiddos out of school and many of us, both frog and human, taking vacations, I know you'll find plenty of reasons to party outside during the coming month. So without further ado, here is your July Calendar of Special Days.
JULY
1.  National Postal Workers Day, National US Postage Stamp Day, National Gingersnap Day, National Creative Ice Cream Flavor Day.
2.  National Anisette Day. This is also a great day to find something of your own to celebrate!
3.  National Fried Clams day, National Eat Your Beans Day, National Chocolate Wafer Day.
4.  Independence Day (USA), National BBQ Spareribs Day, National Caesar Salad Day.
5.  National Apple Turnover Day, National Graham Cracker Day, National Bikini Day.
6.  National Hand Roll Day (If you love sushi, this day is for you!), National Fried Chicken Day, Hop-a-Park Day (Sounds like fun to me!).
7.  National Father Daughter take A Walk Day, National Strawberry Sundae Day, National Macaroni Day.
8.  National Chocolate With Almonds Day.
9. National Sugar Cookie Day.
10. National Clerihew Day.
11. National Cheer Up The Lonely Day, National Rainier Cherry Day, National Blueberry Muffin Day, All American Pet Photo Day.
12. National Simplicity Day, National Different Colored Eyes Day, National Pecan Pie Day, Paper Bag Day, Eat Your Jello Day, Collector Car Appreciation Day.
13. National French Fry Day, National Beans 'N' Franks Day.
14. National Tape Measure Day, National Nude Day (it's one way to beat the heat...), National Macaroni And Cheese Day, Bastille Day.
15. National Give Something Away Day, National I Love Horses Day, National Tapioca Pudding Day, National Get Out Of The Dog House Day, National Pet Fire Safety Day.
16. National Corn Fritter Day, National Personal Chef Day.
17. National Lottery Day, National Peach Ice Cream Day, National Tattoo Day, Wrong Way Corrigan Day, National Yellow Pig Day, World Emoji Day, National Hot Dog Day.
18. National Sour Candy Day, National Caviar Day, Get To Know Your Customers Day.
19.  An open day for you to rest or maybe celebrate your own thing!
20. National Lollipop Day, National Moon Day, Toss Away The "Could Haves" And "Should Haves" Day.
21. National Be Someone Day, National Ice Cream Day.
22. National Penuche Day, National Hammock Day, National Rat Catcher's Day.
23. Gorgeous Grandma Day, National Vanilla Ice Cream Day.
24. National Thermal Engineer Day, national Drive-Thru Day, National Cousins Day, National Amelia Earhart Day.
25. National Merry-Go-Round Day, National Hot Fudge Sundae Day, National Threading The Needle Day, National Hire A Veteran Day, National Wine And Cheese Day, National Refreshment Day. National Chili Dog Day.
26. National Aunt And Uncle Day, National Bagelfest Day, National Coffee Milkshake Day, National All Or Nothing Day, National Talk In The Elevator Day, National Get Gnarly Day.
27. National Love Is Kind Day, National Creme Brulee Day, National Day Of The Cowboy.
28. National Milk Chocolate Day, Buffalo Soldiers Day, National Waterpark Day, National Parents Day.
29. National Lasagna Day, National Lipstick Day, National Chicken Wing Day.
30. National Cheesecake Day, National Father-In-Law Day, National Whistleblower Day.
31. National Avocado Day, National Raspberry Cake Day, National Mutt Day.
With the special food days this month, I think I'll need to most of my party shopping at the grocery store and farmers market! Have you figured out what special days you plan to celebrate? There's a lot to choose from, i know.
This wraps up my week so I'll close by wishing you a pleasant and safe weekend. Please stop back by on Monday. I'll miss you terribly, if you don't.
                                                                        PEACE.​
Picture
https://nationaldaycalendar.com/july/
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Go ahead. Put her there!

6/26/2019

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The fourth Thursday of every June is designated as National Handshake Day. Of all the forms of greeting others, the handshake is probably the oldest.  It's hard to pinpoint the exact origin of the handshake because non-verbal forms of communications existed before the development of language. And the handshake may fall into this category. But whenever it started, we do know that's been around a long time.
Archaeological ruins in ancient Greece supports the theory that the handshake is ancient. An uncovered funerary stele, or monument, from the 5th century BC depicts two soldiers shaking hands. Older records from Egypt suggests that the handshake held a different kind of power...the power of giving. According to Babylonian customs, kings would grasp the hand of the statue of the god Marduk before taking the throne. This act was repeated annually at the festival of Zagmuk to carry his power over into the next year.
Although some version of the handshake is practiced nearly everywhere in the world today, many countries have their own customs regarding this greeting. To celebrate National Handshake Day, I thought it would be fun to look at a few of those customs. First impressions mean a great deal, so knowing how to shake hands appropriately can be a big asset, especially when you are traveling abroad.
China - Age matters here so always greet the oldest people first. (I'm pretty sure that goes for greeting frogs, too!) Lightly grip the hand and bow slightly, avoiding direct eye contact. And hold onto the person's hand for a moment or two after the handshake is completed.
Brazil - Expect a firm handshake and one that lasts longer than you're probably used to. use strong eye contact. And greet women with a light kiss on either cheek. Repeat this process when you leave.
Philippines - Most Asiatic countries follow China's lead; the exception being in the Philippines. Here, you want to look the other person straight in the eye and do not bow. A weak grip is a must, however.
Australia - if you're a woman shaking a man's hand, you must offer your hand first. Typically, women there don't shake hands with other women. Use a firm, fast shake. And don't ever use both hands, as do many politicians.
France - Whether it's the first time you meet someone...or the 101st time, shake their hand quickly and lightly. If you're close, a kiss on both cheeks is appropriate.
Russia - Never shake hands with the opposite sex unless it's a business situation. Traditionally, men kiss the hand of a woman. If you are shaking hands, make is very, very firm...like bone-crushing firm!
Turkey - Firm handshakes here are considered rude! In Turkey, handshakes are held for a long time. Don't be concerned, though, it's a sign of friendship!
South Korea - The most senior person should start the handshake, and the grip should be soft. Feel free to clench their right arm with your held hand, too.
Morocco - Only shake hands with people of the same gender and be gentle. If a woman wants to shake your hand, she will offer hers, first.
United Arab Emirates - Start by shaking the hand of the oldest, or most senior person first. Greet them with their title and expect the handshake to linger awhile. Let them be the first one to disengage. 
Kenya - When greeting elders or those of high status, grab the wrist of the left hand and say "Jambo" which means "How are you". Afterward, ask them about their family or business. Here, that's not considered rude or inappropriate.
Mexico - Expect a lasting handshake. If you're a man, a hug may be in order. Women, generally, kiss each other on the cheek.
Norway - Here, you are expected to shake hands with everyone...no matter how many there are in the group. Address each person with their first and last name. Never ask, "How are you?" To a Norwegian, it's meaningless conversational fluff.
Thailand - Don't shake hands here! The other person will place their palms together, at chest level, and bow. This is called a "wai."  Return the gesture. If you're a man, greet them with "Sawadee-krap." If you're a woman, then say, "Sawadee-kah." Both mean a polite "Hello." You shake hands only is a "wai" is not offered.

The best way to celebrate National Handshake Day is by shaking the hand of at least one person you would not have, on any other day. And wish them a good day, while you are doing it. Of course, use #NationalHandshakeDay on all your social media.
It's hard to believe, but June is already winding down; the first half of 2019 has flown by. Join me here tomorrow for a look at the July Calendar of Special Days. With so much of summer left to enjoy, I know you'll find all kinds of great things to celebrate. So let the partying begin!
                                                                        PEACE.
Picture
http://mentalfloss.com/article/54063/what-proper-handshake-etiquette-around-world
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It's a dangerous path to walk.

6/26/2019

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The weather has turned very hot and sticky here in Land of Lily Pad as we head into the heat of the summer. And with this current heat wave, I must admit that I've had a little trouble sleeping. When this morning rolled around and it was time for me to get up, I found I did so with great difficulty. After a quick swim to wash away the night's perspiration, I prepared a light breakfast for my wise friend The Dharma Frog who was about to arrive for my weekly life lesson. When we sat down to dine, I think my friend was more than a little surprised, and probably a bit disappointed, to find that I was serving iced tea breakfast in place of my usual steaming pot of his favorite brew. What can I say...It's HOT here! Note to self: Don't serve iced tea to Dharma again at breakfast.
After taking a few bites of food, I casually mentioned to Dharma that I was a little concerned about a friend of mine. Lately, he's been expressing quite a bit of jealousy over the job promotion that another friend of ours recently received. I can see that his jealousy is impacting all of our friendships but is having the worst impact on himself. He is becoming sullen and withdrawn. "Dharma, how can I help my friend feel happy and not jealous of the success our friend is having? I mean, after all, he's worked very hard for it and is deserving of the recognition." Dharma thought for a few minutes then replied, "Tadpole, a jealous or envious frog is troublesome to others but a torment to themselves. Do you know, my boy, if he's simply jealous or is he envious? There's a difference." I gave out a huge sigh. "Gee, Dharma, I'm not really sure. I thought they were the same thing." "Irwin, my boy, you're not alone. Most frogs and humans as well, think jealousy and envy are the same. But if you'll permit me, I'll explain the difference." "By all means, teacher, go right ahead."
Dharma explained that while envy and jealousy are often used interchangeably, they actually do have different meanings. Jealousy, as Dharma explained it, is "solicited anytime there is a threat to something that is of value to an individual. In other words, it's that icky feeling you get when you are afraid something will be taken away from you. While envy is the emotion solicited when somebody has something that you want for yourself." After listening to Dharma's explanation, I'm pretty sure my friend is envious. But either way, he's been held captive by that ugly "green-eyed monster." According to the wise old frog, "With envy, "the gap is between what you have and what the other person has -- the other has something you want to have but don't have. So the goal becomes to reduce this gap by bringing the other down (through harming them), or bringing yourself up. But with jealousy, the idea is to protect yourself from having something taken away from you." I was beginning to see things a little more clearly now. "Okay, so Dharma, how do we cope with these emotions and prevent them from ruining our lives?"
According to Dharma, and I believe him, jealousy and envy can both result in aggression which only makes the jealousy or envy harder to recognize. "My boy with envy, you want to harm the person because you don't want them to be superior over you. In jealousy, you harm because you don't want them to take something away from you. to make matters far worse,  jealousy is often -- though not always -- accompanied by envy." 
"Yikes! I can see that my jealous friend is heading down a dangerous path." "Yes, Irwin, he is. But knowing a little bit about where these emotions are rooted can help us, and them, move past them before things escalate even further."  Jealousy, say the experts, is often rooted in self-esteem problems. W
hether it's high or low, is to a great extent predicted by the quality and strength of our relationships. "Since jealousy and self-esteem seem to be so related, focusing on our positive attributes can help to boost the latter. It all has to do with a term in psychology: the "working self-concept." This is the idea that there are many ways to define yourself -- for instance, you can be a brother, a career professional, and an athlete, all at once -- but you're not always going to be working all of these aspects of yourself at one time." On the upside, according to Dharma, jealousy is a sign that we value a relationship. "Sure, jealousy can get out of control quickly -- and it often doesn't look pretty. But at the end of the day, jealousy is about protecting a relationship. It signals to others -- not only the relationship others but also the rival -- that you're going to fight for the relationship."
Envy, however, is emotional pain and that can often lead to physical pain. "The goal of the envious person is to reduce the pain, and they will do everything that will help them reduce the pain, even if it involves doing something nasty like spreading a rumor or backstabbing someone. Envy is considered a bad emotion...one of the 'seven deadly sins, Tadpole. There seems to be a strong connection between envy and competitiveness.  It can help to create some distance between you and the envied other."
In closing, Dharma explained that envy is far worse than jealousy...it can eat us alive and torment in unimaginable ways. But that if we take the difficult first step of admitting that we are envious, we can move away from this destructive emotion. Reminding ourselves that while we can't be the best at everything, each of us has our own skills and talents were we excel. Envy is about a specific thing or aspect of life and not about our entire existence. Thanks to Dharma and his wise words, I know that I am now better equipped to help my friend deal with the envy he is feeling.
Tomorrow is National Handshake Day and I'll be taking a look at the meaning of and proper etiquette of the handshake around the globe. I know you won't want to miss that! Until then,
                                                                        PEACE.
Picture
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/jealousy-envy_n_5186248
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Similar but not the same.

6/25/2019

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English is a hard language to learn. One of the reasons it's so tough is because of words that are very similar in spelling and yet have different meanings. Today I thought we'd take a look at a pair of words that fit this description perfectly.
Words that sound the same but have different meanings are called homophones. I know, it's a weird name. The homophones we'll look at in this blog are compliment and complement. Tea and toast complement each other. Or should it be they compliment each other? If you've ever had a problem with these two words, as many humans do, I think I can be of help.
Complementary is an adjective that means "serving to complete or supply mutual needs: two or more parts that come together to make a better whole." Example: Certain colors complement each other while others clash and are displeasing to the eye. So going back to my tea and toast example in the previous paragraph, the correct word should be complement, not compliment, 
Complimentary is also an adjective but this words means "flattering or favorable or given free as a courtesy." Example; The bed and breakfast in our town offers its guests complimentary tea and toast for breakfast. 
Here's an easy way to remember the difference.
When you want to describe something that is "complementary," two or more parts that work together well, think of the word "complete": "Complementary" things complete one another, and both have an "e" in their second syllable. "Complimentary," with an "i," means containing a "compliment," which is "an expression of esteem, respect, affection, or admiration."
I sure hope that this short lesson on the homophones complimentary and complementary was useful to you.
After an entire day of pouring down rain yesterday, I have a bunch of things to get done today so this is an unusually short blog for me. And please don't forget that tomorrow is Wednesday and that means a visit from none other than the Dharma Frog, my wise and wonderful teacher. Please "hop" back by then.
                                                                          PEACE.
Picture
​Nordquist, Richard. "Complementary vs. Complimentary: How to Choose the Right Word." ThoughtCo, Mar. 10, 2019, thoughtco.com/complementary-and-complimentary-1689348.
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Isn't it romantic? Not necessarily!

6/24/2019

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Well, I must say, this has been quite the morning and it is just now turning 7 a.m. here in Lily Pad. But, after a couple of computer issues and technical qlitches with the website, I am now finally able to begin writing my vlog. Whew!
Monogamous relationships in the animal kingdom are rare, it's true, but a few do exist. Today, I thought we'd look at a few species that do mate for life.
1. Swans - You've probably noticed that when swans put their beaks together, they form a heart. Swans form monogamous pair bonds that last for many years, and in some cases, these bonds can last for life. Sounds romantic, right? But it is really more about the survival of the species than love or sense of attachment. "When you factor in the amount of time swans need to migrate, establish territories, incubate, and raise their young, it makes sense that they wouldn't want to waste any extra time attracting a new mate each season."
2.  Wolves - While this species might not spring to mind first, wolves are loyal to their mate for life. "Most wolf "families" consist of a male, a female, and their pups. Just like a human family. Alpha males share dominance within the pack with their alpha female, except during mating season, when the alpha female is in charge."
3. Albatross - Humans think of these only in terms of something weighty that "hangs around their neck." While many bird species mate for life, the albatross takes things up a notch by learning "
advanced moves to keep the romance alive with their mate. From a young age, albatrosses learn how to woo their mates using an elaborate system of preening, pointing, rattling, bowing, and dancing. They may try these moves out with many partners, but once they pick "the one," they are faithful mates for life."
4.  Gibbons is next up on our list - "Gibbons are our closest animal relatives that mate with their partners for life. Males and females are roughly the same size, making grooming and relaxing together a comfortable fit. New research shows that there may be some philandering going on within gibbons packs, but overall, pairs stay together for a lifetime."
5.  French Angelfish - Most humans think of the French generally as great lovers. And the French angelfish are no exception. These fish are very rarely—if ever—alone. "They form close, monogamous pairs from a young age and then do everything with their mate for the rest of their lives. They live, travel and hunt in pairs and will even defend their ocean territory against neighboring pairs of fish."
6.  Turtle Doves - These birds always come in two. I guess that's why they are often released at weddings. These birds mate for life. Their faithfulness even inspired Shakespeare, who wrote about them in his poem, The Phoenix and the Turtle. And let's not forget the holiday classic, The Twelve days of Christmas. It's always two turtle doves.
7.  Prairie Voles - These cuties are romantic rodents. "Most rodents are not monogamous by nature, but prairie voles are the exception to the rule. They form lifelong pair bonds with their partners and spend their lives nesting, grooming, mating with, and supporting their mates. In fact, they are often used as the model for faithful monogamous relationships in nature."
And this last one will no doubt come as a HUGE surprise!
8.  Termites - Yep. Termites. "When one thinks of faithful animal couples, one doesn't usually call to mind termites, but that's just what they are. Unlike ants, where the queen mates once with a male or several males before their death, termite queens mate with one termite "king" throughout their lives. Thus, entire termite colonies are really just a mom dad and thousands of their offspring." Awww...aren't they an adorable family? Okay, maybe not.
You might have noticed that frogs are not on this list. And it's true that, in general terms, frogs are not the most monogamous of creatures. But in their defense, I would like to say that all of my family, from my parents to my aunts and uncles, and including my grandparents, have all mated for life and remain happily together to this day.

This morning may have had a rough start to it, but all's well that ends well, eh?
I hope you'll plan on joining me back here tomorrow for a look at two English words that can be very confusing. Until then, I wish you 
                                                                         PEACE.
Picture
​Savedge, Jenn. "8 Animals That Mate For Life." ThoughtCo, Jun. 13, 2019, thoughtco.com/animals-that-mate-for-life-1140803.
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It was started by surfers.

6/21/2019

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I so excited that the weekend is finally here! This week has kind of felt like it was 14 days long. But now that it's finally Friday, I'm making plans to spend some quality time with my little brother. Quigley has been pestering me to take him skateboarding. Now I know what you're thinking, how can the Great Swamp have any place to skateboard? It may be hard to believe but a skateboard park was recently built near little brother's school. The grand opening is tomorrow and I promised to take him. But since today is Go Skateboarding Day, I thought it might be fun to look at the history of these little rolling pieces of lumber. Here's what I learned.
​"Skateboarding has been shaped and influenced by many skateboarders throughout the years. A 2009 report found that the skateboarding market is worth an estimated $4.8 billion in annual revenue with 11.08 million active skateboarders in the world. In 2016, it was announced that skateboarding will be represented at the 2020 Summer Olympics in Tokyo." But skateboarding as we know it today was born back in the late 1940s or early '50s. And it will come as no surprise that the idea of skateboarding was developed by surfers in California who wanted something to do when the waves were flat. back then, it was called "sidewalk surfing." 
The first manufactured skateboards were ordered by a Los Angeles, California surf shop, meant to be used by surfers in their downtime. The shop owner, Bill Richard, made a deal with the Chicago Roller Skate Company to produce sets of skate wheels, which they attached to square wooden boards. Early skaters emulated surfing style and maneuvers, and performed barefoot. By the 1960s, a few surf board manufacturers in Southern california began manufacturing skateboards that resembled small surfboards. One of the earliest skateboard competitions was held in 1963. Some of these same teams of skateboarders were also featured on a television show called "Surf's Up" in 1964, hosted by Stan Richards, that helped promote skateboarding as something new and fun to do. As the popularity of skateboarding began to grow, the first skateboarding magazine popped up, too. In 1964, John Severson published the first edition of The Quarterly Skateboarder. The magazine lasted only for issues but resurfaced again in 1975 but was renamed simply Skateboarder. 
One of the earliest sponsored (paid) skateboarders was Patti McGee. She traveled around the country holding skateboard exhibitions and speaking on skateboarding safety. Ms. McGee was featured on the cover of Life Magazine in 1965. She even appeared on several popular TV shows of the time including, The Mike Douglas Show, What's My Line?, and The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson. All this, of course, fueled interest in this new sport. Soon after, kids everywhere were begging their parents for skateboards. Skateboard competitions offering prizes and money were held all over the US. 
Skateboarding is still very popular today and most boards are still made of wood, usually maple which is known for being very hard. While the early skateboarders preferred riding barefoot, most of today's enthusiasts wear a "sticky-soled slip-on skate shoe that was popularized by Sean Penn in the film Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

You may be shocked to learn that skateboard stuff (memorabilia) regularly sells for "big bucks" at auction houses. In January 2019, Sotheby's in New York auctioned the full set of the 248 skateboard deck designs ever sold by Supreme, collected by Ryan Fuller. The full set sold for $800,000 to 17 year old Carson Guo from Vancouver who plans to exhibit them in a local gallery. New York based SHUT skateboards had a gold-plated skateboard for sale at $15,000 in 2014, then the most expensive skateboard in the world. In 2019, artist Adrian Wilson created the SUPREME Mundi, a cross between an artist palette and a skateboard as a commentary on the record bids at auction of the Supreme decks and the restored Salvatore Mundi which was sold by a New York art gallery for $20,000.
​Quigley, jr. and I will have a lot of fun, I'm sure, on Saturday, trying out the new Lily Pad Skate Park. My biggest goal is to not fall off and break my typing digits. Whatever you plan on doing this weekend, I hope it includes spending time outdoors with family and friends. Today marks the official beginning of summer and the fun kicks in to hi9gh gear. 

I hope to see you back here on Monday.
                                                                         PEACE.
Picture
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skateboarding
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The Miracle-Gro our world needs right now.

6/20/2019

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We live in a crazy world. I doubt that many will disagree. Most of what I've read on this subject of late seems to indicate that what is needed most to heal the divided world we all live in, is exactly what's in short supply. That is, of course, empathy.
It's not just a divide between strangers half a world away, but increasingly, it's becoming a divide between friends and neighbors. Maybe it's happened to you. You see posts by friends and family on social media and you ask yourself, "Who IS this person? It's not the person I've known for years. What has happened to them?" Their posts have become angrier and more reactionary. Meanwhile, you've become mellower, perhaps more politically correct. Maybe you've even "snipped" at each other in these online chats. People that you've long held as friends and loved ones suddenly seem to be at odds with you. Well, if this has happened to you then, you're not alone. The human divide is widening, not shrinking. It's striking close to home. But there is a fix, and that is good news! ​Empathy can be used to nurture individuals, relationships and even heal teams...whether it's work or play. But empathy is also a fragile thing. It needs constant care.
"Just 30,000 years ago, humans were unremarkable, medium-sized mammals—not particularly strong or fast, lacking sharp teeth, claws, and wings. We weren’t even the only smart ape; five other large-brained species shared the planet with us. But humanity did have something that set us apart: each other. More than any other species, sapiens worked together cooperatively. This helped us become super-organisms who quickly took over the planet," says Jamil Kazi in his book, The War for Kindness.  And it does often feel like we're in a war with each other: human against human and human against nature. But humans do have a capacity for collaborative empathy to share, understand, and care for what others are feeling. "Empathy encourages generosity toward strangers, tolerance for people who look or think differently than you do, and commitment to environmental sustainability. Yet for all its benefits, empathy often goes missing just when we need it most. [T]hese days, the rules that encourage empathy are being broken. More than ever, humans are urban, isolated, and anonymous to each other. We meet irregularly, often in online spaces that privilege outrage and leave cruelty unpunished. We are increasingly tribal, and sometimes view outsiders not as human beings but as symbols of ideas and groups we fear and hate. And when we learn about tragedy, it’s often as an abstraction. We might hear about thousands of people affected by a disaster or civil war, but think of them only as faceless statistics, without any way to access their emotions." And I think we can all agree that these aren't the ideal conditions for empathy to flourish.
But there are a few human exercises that can utilize help your own empathy flourish. Think of these tips as the (plant) food that is desperately need in the world's soil right now to encourage the good stuff like empathy, to grow and blossom...a kind of Miracle-Gro that the world needs loads of right now. Empathy works as a weed-killer, too, helping to drown out hate and violence.

1. Meditation - "Contemplative practices such as loving-kindness meditation were developed specifically to help individuals sharpen their empathy, and an increasing amount of evidence suggests that they work."
2.  Storytelling - "Where statistics can fail to move you, stories often succeed. They bring you into one person’s perspective, allow you to resonate with their joy and pain, and are steeped in humanity. In fact, even fictional stories help to empathize with real people." And as a writer and avid reader, I can agree with one, 100%. Books are magical things.
3.  Friendship - "Empathy dissolves when we see the world in terms of “us and them,” but it recovers just as quickly when we return to “you and I.” Decades of research demonstrate that when people make close, personal contact with members of other groups, under the right conditions, they experience less prejudice. This is in part because they find it easier to empathize with that individual’s perspective and—by extension—with their group as a whole."

Everyone wants to be heard and accepted. The easiest way to achieve this through open dialogue. But talking only works when both parties agree to be civil and actually listen to the other's point of view. Talking may not solves all the problems but it does open doors. We won't, and can't expect, to change another's perspective. But being open to "hearing the other side" can go along way in improving empathy.
Knowledge is power. We've heard that saying a million times. I found this quote from Bill Bullard that says, "The highest form of knowledge is empathy." Want to be smart AND powerful? Empathy is the answer. It is transformative.
That does it for me today. Please stop by tomorrow for a look at the history of skateboarding, It's going to a lot of fun!
                                                                         PEACE.
Picture
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/in_a_divided_world_we_need_to_choose_empathy?
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It's a solo journey for each of us.

6/19/2019

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 I woke up at my usual time this morning and discovered that not only was it unusually hot but also extremely humid; I felt as though I had been suddenly transported to the tropics during the night. It was definitely too hot to bake anything for breakfast so I had to scrap the breakfast I had planned for my teacher, The Dharma Frog. I hunted through my kitchen cabinets and managed to cobble together bit and pieces of this and that to make a very tasty meal. The tea was steeping when Dharma arrived on my pad.
"Good morning, Dharma! We've sure got a steamy one this morning, eh?" "Yes, Irwin, it is warm and only going to get warmer, I'm afraid," he replied. "I hope you haven't prepared anything too heavy for breakfast." "No, Sir," I answered. "It was far too warm to cook so I kept it simple." We sat down to dine and I noticed that Dharma was being unusually quiet. "Everything, okay?" I asked him. "Tadpole, do you know who you are?" I had to think about this for a few seconds. "Yes. At least I think I do. I'm a son, a brother, your student, a friend, a writer....." Dharma smiled, "No, Son, I wasn't asking about what labels you've assigned yourself. No, I was asking more about your beliefs. What do you believe about yourself?" I wasn't sure where this was going and I didn't answer. Dharma continued, "Irwin when a frog lets go of what he is, he becomes what he might be. We all hold limiting beliefs about ourselves. But once we can accept that it's safe to let them go, it then opens the door for our lives to dramatically improve. Frogs, and humans too are our own worst enemies." I agreed with Dharma but I had a question for him about the best way to let go of these tightly-held and limiting beliefs. What follows is a synopsis of what he told me. I found it very helpful and I hope you will, too!
The understanding of the mind/body connection is a fascinating and expanding field. Humans are only just beginning to fully understand how one can affect the other. This science is called PNI or psychoneuroimmunology. "It focuses on studying how specific stressors affect specific areas of the body. Psychological studies have shown that certain emotions have more impact on the heart like anger, for example." What is less understood, though, is the idea that our "suitcases" carry not only limiting beliefs about ourselves but also self-imposed limitations on negativity and doubt. Just in case you are wondering, "Doubts are limiting decisions and/or limiting beliefs about yourself and your abilities. Self-doubt manifests in words like "I can't," "I'm not good enough," or "I'm not smart enough."
Dharma reminded me that when these limiting beliefs pile up in our mental "black bag," they prevent us from seeing where we need to go or what we need to do. "They cloud your judgment and sometimes make you take a misstep. Many of us feel like we are stumbling around "in the dark" at some point or other. This is the effect of maintaining those black bags beyond their usefulness," Dharma instructed me. I was beginning to see the light. Without realizing it, I, too, had a suitcase that was overstuffed with negative thinking. I begged him, "Wise One, PLEASE tell me how I can get rid of these beliefs and doubts. I find the idea of change rather unsettling and I'm hoping you can explain to me how I can begin to unpack my own large and very heavy black bag." 

"Tadpole, you're not alone in your thinking. Many frogs and humans, as well, find the idea of change unsettling. I don't believe that anyone can or should expect someone else to fix that fear for them. It's something each of us must do on our own. Sure, we hire a life coach or find a teacher, like me, to help guide the process by giving them a road map but, ultimately the journey is a solo one. But there is good news. Once you consciously decide that you are ready to release what should be released, the conscious mind invites the higher self in with the help of 'good spirits'. All the conscious mind has to do is relax and let it happen, and be willing to let go. The higher self takes care of the rest. When we release limiting beliefs, we allow light to shine on and illuminate our path." So it's all up to me, Dharma?" "Yes, Irwin, it is. I can promise you that I will be there to answer your questions and to encourage you in every way that I can. But the decision to change, to face your fear, is all up to you. You and you alone have the power to transform your life, as long as you're willing to face your limiting beliefs and doubts.  Each of us has the power to be our own superhero, to swoop in and save the day. Our inner-superhero will help us become what we're meant to be."
After Dharma hopped away, I gave some thought to what he had told me. I'm not sure I'm ready to release ALL of my doubts and limiting beliefs right away, but I know that I will get there with Dharma's help, love, and encouragement. I know that not everyone, especially humans, has a teacher as wonderful as Dharma Frog so I hope that by posting his weekly lesson I can help those of you who may need a little loving encouragement now and then.
Please come back by tomorrow for a look at empathy and how it can be used to help heal a divided world. It seems an appropriate topic, given the global discord that's happening right now. But until we meet again, I wish you (and your inner-superhero)
                                                                         PEACE. 
Picture
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/focus-forgiveness/201110/creating-the-life-you-want-step-2-letting-go-limiting-beliefs
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A day to treat yourself.

6/18/2019

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Today is National Splurge Day. And if you're anything like me, you enjoy indulging yourself every now and again. This day is a fun, feel-good holiday that was created for you to do something special for yourself. Splurge is defined as spending freely or excessively on yourself. But for most of us, all those with budgets, splurging in the true sense of the word might not be possible. But that doesn't mean we can't partake in a few niceties today.
Splurging can be as simple as taking a bubble bath, relaxing with a good book and a glass of wine, or spending the afternoon watching your favorite movie. Perhaps splurging for you means preparing your favorite meal...the one usually reserved for your birthday. There are all sorts of ways that we can splurge without breaking the bank. And here's the good news. It's been proven that splurging on ourselves is actually a good thing, just so long as it's done in a way that won't cause hardships down the line. 
We all work hard and giving ourselves a treat now and then lifts our spirits and is good for our souls, Splurging, though, can wreak havoc on a tight budget so one way to help overcome that challenge is to start a "splurge account." This is a small savings account where you save your loose change or any unexpected windfall (a bonus at work, money for your birthday, etc). A few frogs I know actually budget for their splurges by foregoing a few fancy coffees each month and putting that money into their splurge account for a bigger treat later on. However you do choose to do it, splurging is possible for nearly everyone. Perhaps your splurge today will be starting your next year's splurge account; start off with a few dollars and watch it grow monthly.
I did a little research and found some good advice on what are the best things to splurge on, at least when it comes to spending money.
1.  When it's something that is memorable. These items include vacations with family or friends. If you can't seem to "pull the trigger and commit" then try thinking of the vacation as a stack of wonderful memories instead of a stack of cash. Stuff is just stuff, but memories are things we all cherish and last an entire lifetime.
2.  When the purchase is an investment in your career. This could mean springing for that new power suit you've been eying...the one with the BIG price tag. Or it might mean spending money to take a class that will add new skills to your resume or advance the ones you already have. It's often said that money makes money and this is one of those times that it is true.
3.  If you're genuinely going to use the item over and over again. This is the quality over quantity thing we learned when we were young. Spending money on a designer purse you love and that will last you for years is, in the long run, a better investment than buying multiple cheap ones that fall apart quickly. There are many more examples I'm sure you can think of.
4.  When you shop on special sales days like Black Friday. Sometimes these deals are simply too good to pass up. But the item in question must still be something you will genuinely use often. If it's not, then it's still a waste of money...even if it's cheap!
5.  When you've budgeted for the item in advance. This is still the smartest way to make that "splurge" purchase.
As I said earlier, splurging isn't always about spending the "big bucks." Buying yourself a bouquet of roses, if that's your favorite flower, or taking the time to give yourself a mani/pedi and facial can feel luxurious if they're things you don't take the time to do often.
For me, I enjoy cooking and baking. So a splurge for me will be spending a few dollars on ingredients to try out a new recipe.
We all have things we love to do and yet rarely do them, either because of the cost or the time involved. Today is your excuse for doing them all...or at least one of them...no quilt allowed! We spend time looking out for and doing for others; every one that is special to us. So why can't we do something nice for ourselves every now and then? Aren't we special too? The answer is YES! Of course we're special. However you plan to celebrate National Splurge Day, just be smart about it, okay? And why not post your splurge on social media to share with others? Just use #NationalSplurgeDay.

Of course, tomorrow is Wednesday and that means a visit from my wise teacher and dear friend, The Dharma Frog. Please join me back here tomorrow to find out what life lesson he has in store for me. Who knows? it might help you, too.
                                                                       PEACE.
Picture
https://www.bustle.com/articles/144431-6-times-its-ok-to-splurge-because-treating-yourself-is-necessary
https://nationaldaycalendar.com/national-splurge-day-june-18/
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Biggest cities through the centuries.

6/17/2019

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Most countries take a census. Counting the residents of a particular place serves many purposes, one of which is so that resources can be better and more equitably distributed. Land of Lily pad is no different. We are gearing up for our next census and there has been some question as to who, exactly, is eligible to be counted. I say everyone, but that's just my personal opinion. But it got me thinking about centuries long ago. We know from history that many places did do census-taking, but what about prior to that? How did anyone keep track of the population? 
In order to understand how civilizations have evolved over time, it's useful to look at population growth and decline in different geographic areas. It's a pretty massive undertaking to try and determine how  many people lived in urban areas "prior to recorded history." Tertius Chandler's book, Four Thousand Years of Urban Growth: An Historical Census used a wide variety of historical sources to locate approximate populations for the world's largest cities since 3100 BCE. Using a few of his charts, i thought it might be fun to see what were the largest cities beginning with 3100 BCE. Not sure what BCE refers to? I had to look it up myself. BCE stands for Before Common Era which is, generally, the same as BC, and CE equates to AD. These newfangled terms seek to eliminate the religious reference and are now more commonly used in academic settings.
In 3100 BC (BCE), Memphis, Egypt was Number 1, with a population of 30,000 people.
In 2240, the Number 1 city was Akkad, Babylonia (Iraq). In 2030, the biggest city was Ur, Babylonia (Iraq) with an estimated population of 65,000. Jumping ahead to 195 BCE, the biggest place was 
Xi'an, China. Its population was 400,000. Rome, Italy jumped to the top of the list in 25 BCE when its population exceeded 450,000
Now on to CE (or AD):
Baghdad was the Number 1 city in 775 and was the first city to reach a population of 1 million citizens. From 1425 to 1500, Beijing, China reigned supreme with a population of 1.27 million. London, England was the first city to reach the 5 million mark. It held the title from 1825 to 1900. So what city hit 10 million people first? It was New York City and it held the record from 1925 to 1950. In 1965, however, a new record was broken. Tokyo's population reached 20 million and held onto that record until 1975. 
​In case you are wondering, the top three largest cities in Land of Lily Pad are; # 3-Ribbiton, #2-Pond Scum, and the #1 largest city and the capital,  the one where I live, is City of Swamp.
I found these facts fascinating and I hope you did as well. If you like to indulge yourself every now and again (and who doesn't, right?) I know you will want to stop back by tomorrow for a blog celebrating  National Splurge Day. Until then, I wish you
                                                                         PEACE.
Picture
​Rosenberg, Matt. "Largest Cities Throughout History." ThoughtCo, Jul. 12, 2018, thoughtco.com/largest-cities-throughout-history-4068071.
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    Land of Lily Pad's first published author. I enjoy writing fun and educational books for kids. My blog is for you parents; the kiddos might like some of them, too. As always, everything I write is family-friendly, so don't hesitate to share my messages with everyone. I hope you find them helpful and maybe even inspirational. Cheers! 

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