It's hard to believe that August is already here. There's still a lot of summer left to enjoy, though, and many ways to keep the fun going all month long!  Since the kids will be back in school soon enough, why not pick out  a few of your favorite things to celebrate and plan a few end-of-summer celebrations?
August Special Days:
1.  Startup Day Across America, National Girlfriends Day, Respect For Parent Day, National Night Out.
2.  National Coloring Book Day
3.  National Watermelon Day
4.  National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day, National Coast Guard Day
5.  National Underwear Day, National Disc Golf Day, National Mustard Day
6.  National Fresh Breath Day, National Wiggle Toes Day, National Friendship Day, National Sisters Day.
7.  Purple Heart Day, National Lighthouse Day
8.  National Happiness Day, National Dollar Day; National Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Day
9.  National Veep Day, National Book Lovers Day (A great thing to celebrate!)
10. National Lazy Day, National S'Mores Day
11. National Sons And Daughters Day, National Presidential Joke Day, 
12. National Vinyl Records Day, National Middle Child Day, National Bowling Day, National Garage Sale Day (Perhaps you call it a yard sale or a tag sale...all the same thing)
13. Left-handers Day (Interesting that it's celebrated on the 13th...)
14. National Spirit of '45 Day, National V-J Day
15. National Relaxation Day
16. National Tell A Joke Day, National Airborne Day, National Airborne Day
17. National Nonprofit Day, National I Love My Feet (or Flippers) Day, National Thrift Shop Day
18. National Mail Order Catalog Day, National Ice Cream Pie Day
19. National Aviation Day, National Soft Ice Cream Day
​20. National Radio Day
21. National Senior Citizens Day
22. national Bao Day, National Tooth fairy Day
23. National Ride The Wind Day
24. National Waffle Day
25. National Kiss And Make Up Day, National Second Hand Wardrobe Day
26. National Webmistress Day, National Dog Day, National Women's Equality Day
27 National Just Because Day
28. Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day
29. Whew! A day off from all these parties....
30. National Toasted Marshmallow Day; National Grief Awareness Day
31. National Matchmaker Day; National Diatomaceous Earth Day
August has so many great days to celebrate. If you're like me, you'll have a tough time deciding which ones to choose! But I've think I've narrowed down my selection and I'm hopping off to the party store to pick up my supplies. Have a great month everyone and please come back for the September Calendar of Special Days.

Do you have lofty goals or aspirations? Perhaps you want to start a business or do something to help save the planet. Many humans and many frogs, too, dare to dream BIG. But no matter what goals or ambitions are, all high achievers have one thing in common; perfectionism. if you're anything like me, you want everything you do to be just so, to be perfect, before you'll sign off on the project. Recent studies have shown that the costs of perfectionism outweigh the benefits. One of the the most hurtful aspects of perfectionism is the "all-or-nothing" attitude. 
The all-or-nothing mindset is actually a "cognitive distortion" says happiness expert Maile Proctor. It's a negative, or twisted, thought process; strictly black and white thinking. According to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Los Angeles, "Your performance is either totally good or totally bad. If you're not perfect, then you're a failure. This binary way of thinking does not account for shades of gray, and can be responsible for a great deal of negative evaluations about yourself and others." This type of thinking can hold you back from trying and/or achieving new things in your life.
We're all guilty of this in one way or another, but perfectionists take it to a whole new level. If they can't play for the best team, they don't want to play the sport at all. if they can't get hired with by the most prestigious company, there's no use in working in that field. You know the type. They have to be the best at everything they do.  Experts tell us, though, that the best way to get past this cognitive distortion is to just start. "Whatever it is, just get started, gain some momentum (which will make you feel good), reassure yourself with positive self-talk, and just keep trudging along. Here are five tips that will help you overcome your all-or-nothing attitude and help you find greater happiness, and even success!
1.  Decide what your want. This means defining your goals, no matter how big or how small they might be; whether personal or professional, Then, create an action plan.  Write down your goals and post them in a place where you'll see them every day. Discuss your goals with family or  friends who will encourage you and will, in a loving non-berating way, hold you accountable.  It's okay to think BIG, Don't let your negative self-talk discourage you from going after your goals and dreams. 
2. Take action.  This is where that all-or-nothing attitude really comes into play. Goals can be daunting because they require time and hard work. But goals happen with each small step you take. What can you do today that will further your dream? Don't set yourself up for failure by trying to do everything all at once. If you want to start a business, for instance, don't set off looking for a store front and hiring staff as your first steps. Instead, set yourself up for success by setting realistic and achievable small goals.
3.  Celebrate your small wins. Once you've started working towards your goals, remember to celebrate your smalls wins along the path to success. This can be challenging, I know, for all-or-nothing thinkers, but celebrating the small wins helps to keep you from getting discouraged and focuses your attention on progress, not perfection, Seeing, and acknowledging, your progress is the single most important factor in staying motivated. So celebrate each small win! A verbal pat on the back or rewarding yourself by doing something fun are easy and cheap ways to celebrate those small successes.
4.  Learn from your mistakes. No matter what your aspirations are, you're bound to have a few set-backs along the way. Don't let your all-or-nothing attitude tell you to give up because something didn't turn out "just right" the first time. Rather, think of those set-backs as lessons, not mistakes, and learn from them. Perfectionists see mistakes as failures that will cause them to lose the respect of others. "But, according to the Counseling Center at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, by orienting their lives around avoiding mistakes, perfectionists miss opportunities to learn and grow." Mistakes give you the opportunity to change your approach. When you learn from your mistakes, you gain traction that will actually help to move you along your path." Mistakes aren't the end of the road, they're a useful speed bump.
5.  Reward yourself. Along with celebrating your small victories along the way, remember to reward yourself when you keep going after encountering a set-back. Determine what the real reward is for your progress. Make sure it's something big enough to keep you motivated. "A 1999 study showed that perceived self-interest is responsible for three-quarters of why you do things. So don't hold back from treating yourself when you accomplish something on your to-do list or take a positive step toward your goal!"
The more you can ditch your all-or-nothing attitude, the happier you'll be. Even those of us who are hard-wired for perfection can learn to celebrate our progress. Don't negate the little accomplishments that are an integral part of both your success and happiness. Go Big or Go Home sound great on the surface but, really, learning to take small steps and celebrating those tiny victories is the best way to achieve your goals.
​Now get out there and start taking a few small steps!

Ahh, the weekend is upon us. And I have some big plans! I haven't seen my school chum, Mahalo, for ages. He lives in Hawaii so we don't get together very often these days. I'm excited, though, because this weekend he's coming to Land of Lily Pad for a visit.
Hawaii is famous for many things; luaus, pristine beaches, volcanoes, and breathtakingly beautiful vistas. But it's also known for surfing. I've tried surfing a couple of times and really enjoyed it. While Mahalo is visiting, I'm sure we'll be waxing the boards and hit the surf. The last Friday in July, which is today, also happens to be National Get Gnarly Day. The word gnarly often gets a bad rap. it can mean bad or dangerous. But it can also mean exciting, which is why surfers use the word to describe awesome waves. Just like surfers challenging waves, National Get Gnarly Day challenges us to put some gnarliness into everything we do today. If you'd like to celebrate Get Gnarly Day but don't live near the the ocean, here are a few other ways you can show your gnarliness.
1.  Find a gnarly hobby.  Hulda Crooks, born in 1896, started hiking and climbing at age 54, after the death of her husband. Although she had been an active jogger and walker her whole life, she was by no means an active mountain climber. Crooks first scaled Mount Whitney in California (the highest peak in the contiguous United States) at age 66. Believe it or not, she scaled Mount Fuji, in Japan, at the age of 91! I guess you could say that mountain climbing added gnarliness to her life. The point is, it's never too late to take up a gnarly new hobby or a new sport.
2.  Meet gnarly people.  Gnarly people are everywhere. Accept those invitations you've previous declined...you never know who'll be there. Volunteer at a local charity, take a cooking or art class. Stepping out of your comfort zone is best way to introduce yourself to new experiences and new people. Plus it will make you gnarly. And gnarly people have a way of finding each other....
3.  Get a gnarly passport. It's a fact, gnarly people love to travel. If gnaliness is truly your new way of life, then you must have a passport. Even if you don't have any immediate plans to travel, you never know when an amazing opportunity will just pop up. Gnarly people are always ready for anything.
4.  Find a gnarly new style.  Redecorate a room in your house or find yourself a gnarly new hairstyle. Both can revitalize a lackluster attitude and outlook on life. Gather together a group of friends  and take turns helping to paint a room in each other's home. Add a gnarly color to your life. Why stick with safe beige, white, and baby blue all the time? The world is a colorful place, man. Changing things up is a sure sign of gnarliness.
5.  Throw a gnarly party. Celebrate all things gnarly. It's something to share so be sure and let your enthusiasm shine! Invite all those new friends from your gnarly new social circle and find great things to celebrate; gnarly food and drink, gnarly movies, or maybe even your gnarly kids! When you're gnarly, anything and everything is worthy of a celebration!
The history of National Get Gnarly Day is one you might not expect. In 2016, the US Whirlpool Corporation launched a campaign to add gNARliness into everything they did. It was a way to encourage their employees to get excited about reaching their goals and satisfying their customers. The NAR in gnarliness had special meaning for them since NAR stood for North American Region (Whirlpool products being available worldwide). When the campaign kicked off, the response from employees was so overwhelming, the company created National Get Gnarly Day and it became "official" just last year.
Whatever you do today and over the weekend, to show your gnarliness, be sure to take lots of photos. And add #NationalGetGnarlyDay when you post your pics on social media. 
 Mahalo and I are off to ride some gnarly waves. See you all back here on Monday!                                                      

" Oh those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer..." sang Nat King Cole back in 1963. The summertime of yesteryear was far lazier than the ones we're experiencing in the 21st century. These days summer can be crazy...trying to cram so many activities into just a few short months....but they're more apt to for hazy. We can loose track of the time and before we know it, fall is here and summer is just a blur. Often we can't even remember all the things we did. We focus, instead, all the the things we didn't do. One of those things might be the goals we've set for ourselves. Summer has a way of distracting us. Our goals, hopes, and dream, take a back seat to all the other things that are demanding our immediate attention; the kid's camp, swimming, picnics, family BBQ's and reunions, vacations, travel, and so many more things.
It's easy to lose track of our goals with so many fun activities going on around us. But something happens when we neglect the goals we've set for ourselves. We're left feeling unfulfilled.  In his book, The Slight Edge, there's a powerful quote from author Jeff Olsen that reminds us of the importance of staying focused on our goals. "Here's the unfortunate and powerfully destructive truth of being incomplete; it keeps the past alive." Summers will come and go throughout your life and with each passing year, your abandoned goals move farther out of reach. When summer is over, and falls jolts us back into reality, it becomes easy to forget the promises we made to ourselves. We say, "Oh well, I'll start them again next year...it'll be my New Year's Resolution for 2018," then than that become 2019, or 2020 and beyond. Jeff Olsen tells us, "For things to change, you've got to change. For things to get better, you've got to get better. It's easy to do. But, then, it's just as easy not to do."
There are a few key ways, though, that we can remain focused on our goals and still find time to enjoy all the good things happening in the moment. After all, summer is the time to really enjoy life!
1. Create a daily schedule for the summer months.  You may need to make adjustments to your schedule, as things come up, but even with extra activities there is always time to focus on your goals. This may mean eliminating an activity here and there and using your free time more wisely. The idea is to allow time for spontaneity while still accomplishing the things you need and want to do.
2.  Do more things to increase your energy. If you live in a place that gets really hot in the summer, you know just how draining that heat can be. We're all more active in the summer months, certainly, but all that running around can zap your energy for the things that are most important. If you find yourself going out at at night to "paint the town," then blowing off your morning exercise routine the next day, perhaps you're lacking mental clarity and motivation when it comes to making the time to work towards your weight-loss goal (or whatever other goal you've set for yourself). Spend some quiet time and re-examine your goals. Are they still important to you? If not, determine what your new ones are and then focus your time and energy there. Daily exercise,healthy eating, meditation, laughter, and spending time in nature all excellent ways to maintain your energy this summer.
3.  Don't think of distractions as distractions. This is my favorite tip. It's a kind of off-the-wall concept. Let's say that your friends have invited you to join them for a day at the beach. You really want to go. But you've promised yourself that this summer you'd hit the gym every day and work on loosing those last fifteen pounds. Rather than think of the invitation as a distraction, try thinking of it as an opportunity. Yes, an opportunity. You can actually do both! You don't have to give up the gym to go to the beach. The beach will be still there when you've finished your work-out...and so will your friends. So what if you cant spend the entire day with them? You'll feel great with loads of energy after your trip to the gym and guess what? You'll  still have plenty of daylight hours to hang with your buds. It's a big win-win. And a pretty neat concept, am I right?
When all is said and done, you want to bring harmony to your life. That shouldn't mean forsaking summer fun so that you can constantly work on achieving your goals. It's more about time management and setting priorities. It's wonderful to have fun and live spontaneously during the summer, but it's also beneficial to stay focused on our dreams. Harmony is about finding the right balance between work and play. 
“Whatever price you pay, there’s a bigger price to pay for not doing it than the price for doing it. The price of neglect is much worse than the price of discipline.” – The Slight Edge

It's Wednesday again...already. I've been up since before dawn preparing for the Dharma Frog's weekly visit and lesson. I've finished preparing breakfast and brewing the tea...a lovely blend called Summer's Bliss (seemed appropriate). The sun is just now coming up over Land of Lily Pad. The birds are signing and it promises to be a spectacular day! And, right on time, Dharma hops onto my lily pad and lands with a thud. All is right in my world.
Then, before he even sits down to eat, Dharma says to me, "Son, are you living the life you're meant to live? You, know, Irwin, a frog may not always end up where he thought he was going, but he will always end up where he was meant o be." "Gee, Sir," I stammered, "I'm not sure if I'm living the life I'm meant to, or not." My wise teacher reminded me that life has a way of passing us by as we become busy with our schedules and daily routines. And, before you know it, moments have shifted, seasons have come and gone, and years have us by. Then we get hit by a reminder that nothing lasts forever; a serious illness, the passing of a loved one, the loss of a job. For while, we're jolted back to the present moment but, soon enough, the daily grind of life has shifted our attention back onto other things. It's hard to stay living in the present moment. Life can be very distracting.
Humans, and most frogs too, however, have this nagging inner voice (some call it a soul) that usually begins talking to us at 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning. It asks of us, "Are you living the life you were meant to live?" It's easy to silence this voice during the hectic hours of daytime but, alone at night, the voice begins to speak louder and louder.  And then there comes the time when we, each one of us, can longer ignore or silence that voice. If you haven't given this question much thought lately, Dharma says now now might be a good time to start. He suggests asking yourself a few simple, yet powerful, questions.
1. What does success mean to me? We all a working definition of what success is. It's usually based, in large part, on our values and ideals. A way to gain clarity on this subject is to look at the people you most admire. How are they living their life? If more than one person inspires you, see if they have any commonalities. Then, think ahead 5, 10, even 20 years from now, if you were living your most successful life, what would you be doing? What would an ideal day look like? What difference would you be making...and for whom? The more thought you give to these questions, the more excited you'll become to live the life that wants to live within you.
2.  How am I currently living my life? Ask yourself whether your are currently living in alignment with your ideal life.  where are you currently spending your time? How are you interacting with others? What pursuits are you involved in?  If you see big gaps, then you may want to spend sometime reflecting on why this is so. Have you set a standard that is too high? Or are you letting liming beliefs and fears hold you back? And it may just be that you're going through a transitional period of growth and change that is temporarily consuming you (and maybe zapping your energy).  More often than not, however, these discrepancies exist because we're simply carrying on with our life and don't have a clear vision of what it is that we do want. We are simply going whichever way the wind blows us.
3.  What can I begin doing today? If you're going down a path that you don't really feel you want to own, that's okay. Stop, take a deep breath of total acceptance, and then realize that you're just exactly where you need to be at this moment in time. Release the tension of disappointment, regret, and all those would haves, could haves should haves. Dharma says this is the perfect time to pat yourself on the back for making it this far.  Realize, he said, that your entire life has been in preparation for this moment...whether it's a moment of reflection, of realization, or of celebration. Then ask yourself how you will structure your day, going forward incrementally, to achieve your highest vision. What goals will you set? What activities will your prioritize? What habits will you lose...and which ones will you create? And, most importantly, what step will you take toward your vision today?
This process, Dharma likes to say, is a bit like building something. First, you must have an idea; then you draw up a blueprint, assemble the parts and, finally, put the thing together in the most logical and straight forward way. If you like putting together jigsaw puzzles, think of this process as puzzle where the pieces represent everything about you - your strengths, your weaknesses, challenges, experiences, expertise, and values. How will you piece them all together into a beautiful representation of your journey here on earth, the lessons you learned, and the evidence that you leave behind? That puzzle is the answer your soul, or inner voice, will one day seek. As always, Dharma has hit the nail on the head.
After he left this morning, I knew what projects and questions I needed to work on over the coming days and weeks. Being a writer is something I love to do. I was meant to write. I don't doubt this at all. But I don't think that's ALL there is for me. So, I will follow Dharma's very wise suggestions and see if I can't find the rest of the life I am meant to be living.​

There's something about a merry-go-round that evokes wonderful childhood memories. Since day is National Merry-Go-Round Day, I thought it would appropriate to use this morning's blog to write about the history of this simple, but marvelous invention.
The merry-go-round, also known as a carousel (France) and roundabout (UK), is an amusement ride that consists of a rotating circular platform with seats for its riders. The seats, generally in rows, are made up of beautifully-painted wooden, aluminum, or fiberglass horses (other animals are also used) that are mounted on posts that go up and down to simulate the running and galloping of the animals. Circus music plays as the platform turns round and round. In the good ol' days, the music was played on a steam calliope. The animals all had wonderful names like Thunder, Galloper, Jumper, and Horeseabout. Just ask any kid, and they'll be quick to tell you which is their favorite one to ride. Each horse or animal roughly weighs 100 pounds (45 kg).
Any rotating platform can be called a merry-go-round. The simple ones found in your neighborhood playground are kid-powered; the children run, pushing the platform, and when it gets up to a good fast speed will hop on and ride it until it slows back down.
The modern carousel evolved from early jousting traditions in Europe and the Middle East. Knights would ride horses in a circle tossing balls from one to the other, an activity that required great skill and horsemanship. This game was introduced to Europe at the time of the Crusades. The term carousel originated from the Italian word garosello and the Spanish word carosella which means "little battle" a term used by the Crusaders to describe a combat preparation exercise. By the 17th century, the balls had been dispensed with and, instead, the riders had to spear small rings that were hanging from poles overhead and rip them off. Calvary spectacles that replaced medieval jousting, such as the ring-tilt, were popular in Italy and France. These games became popular with commoners and soon carousels soon sprang up at fairgrounds all over Europe. At the Place du Carrousel in Paris, an early make believe carousel was set up with wooden horses for the children.
By the early 18th century, carousels were being built and operated all across central Europe and England. The animals and mechanisms would be crafted during the winter months and the family and workers would go touring in their wagon train throughout the region in summertime, operating their large menagerie carousel at various venues and fairs. These early carousels had no platform, but the animals were hung from chains and would fly out from the centrifugal force of the spinning mechanism. They were, in the beginning, powered by live animals walking in a circle or by people pulling a rope or or cranking.
In the UK, roundabouts turn clockwise, while in North America and Europe, they revolve counterclockwise, as viewed from above. 
By the mid-19th century, the carousel platform had been developed and the animals and chariots were fixed to the circular floor that would suspend from a center pole and rotate around. This version of the carousel, called  dobbies, were operated manually by a person or by ponies.  The first steam powered carousel was debuted at Aylsham Fair in the UK, around 1861. Soon afterwards, engineer Frederick Savage branched out of agricultural machinery production and into the production and construction of fairground machines. He rapidly became an innovator in the field.  In the United States, the carousel industry was developed by immigrants, most notably Gustav Dentzel of Germany and someone named Dare, from England, in the late 19th-century.  In the 1840's, Franz Wiesenoffer created the first merry-go-round in the United States in Hessville, Ohio. July 25th, 1871 marked the very first carousel patent issued in the US. (And thus the reason for today's celebration!)
The best way to celebrate this fun holiday is to, of course, find a carousel and just have fun riding it. It needn't be a big fancy one at the amusement park, although those can be very special. Nearly every child's playground has one, though, and they're just as much now as they were years ago when you first pushed one around. Go ahead! Be a kid today and have a little fun! You deserve it. And don't forget to use #MerryGoRoundDay on all your social media. 
This afternoon, I'm taking little brother Quigley, and his BFF, to the Lily Pad "Hop On Board" Amusement Park for a day of fun....riding round, and round, and round. (I hope no one grabs my favorite horse named Jumper!)

My cousin, Doolittle Dart, has a terrible time making up his mind. He's the worst when it comes to decision-making. Consequently, he always has a stomach ache. You might ask why these two things have in common and it's certainly a valid question. Next to the brain, the gut is the smart organ anyone has.  
If you don't believe me, check out these facts: The gut is the only organ that performs its functions without oversight from the brain; there are over 100 million brain cells in your gut and it even has it's own nervous system; the gut sends emotional signals to the brain, suggesting we "feel with our guts first; and GI (gastrointestinal) conditions can be seen as the "mental illness" of your gut.  Intuition, then, is actually found in the stomach and is a powerful aspect of humans - frogs, too! It's something we can all access, if we're open to it.  Intuition is often referred to as our "gut instinct" and it encourages us to do one thing rather than another. And when we don't listen to our gut, it can cause us to feel bad...even experiencing physical pain, like Doolittle's tummy ache. While everyone has intuition that can guide them to making right decisions, not everyone trusts it. But trusting your intuition, or gut instinct, is something that we can all learn to do.
If you're like my cousin Doolittle, the best way for you to start trusting your gut instinct is to think of your intuition as a natural gift. Trusting in something that we can't see, hear, smell, or touch can be unnerving. Intuition is commonly referred to as our sixth sense and operates outside the normal parameters of your everyday experiences. Learning to trust your gut means being open to it and welcoming it into your life. Even though it may not always make sense to you, just agree that you're you're willing to follow it.  Next, cultivate your sixth sense with solitude and silence. The best way to do this is, of course, to remove yourself from noise and distraction. Schedule a time each day where you can be "alone with your thoughts." If you meditate regularly, then use this as your quiet solitude. Listen to what the messages arise. Often, you'll find powerful emotions can surge from within. While these emotions can uncomfortable, realize that they are part of the learning curve and will help you to better recognize your intuition in the future. Recording your intuition is the next part. Becoming aware of your intuition and acting upon it are two different things. It can be very helpful to record your intuition experiences, then notice if there is a pattern.(P.S. You should start to see where intuition is helping to guide you; it's real and it does work!) If you still feel unsure and haven't actually put your intuition to the test yet, process your intuition with a trusted friend, or family member. Share your insights with them. This can be especially helpful if you've experienced some form of trauma which can cloud your judgement by promoting fear instead of your your own personal power. When you test your intuition out on a friend or small group, you can learn what to trust and what not to trust. Just remember to pay attention if your friend disagrees with your thinking. If their opinion resonates within you than that, too, is your intuition speaking to you. And, lastly; ​Eventually you'll want to put your intuition into practice...and not just observe it. Believe it or not, you do this subconsciously already. (You eat when you're hungry and sleep when you're tired.) It's okay to start out small. Try ordering a new dish at your favorite restaurant instead of your usual. If it sounds good, order it! That's intuition at its most basic.
Once you gain some "experience" with trusting your gut on the small stuff, you will feel more comfortable trying it out on the bigger things; career changes, getting married, starting a family, going back to school, or even saying goodbye to an unhealthy relationship.
​Learning to trust our gut isn't easy for everyone but with time, practice, and patience it can become your best and most trusted friend. So stop second-guessing yourself and listening to what others tell you to do. You have the power within you to make these decisions on your own...if you're willing to stop for for a few minutes and go within.  Your gut instinct is your inner wisdom at work, providing you with guidance and direction. You can think of it as your internal GPS. It know where you want, and need, to go and it will do it's best to get there safely. You only have to trust your gut.
​Now, if only I can get Doolittle to read this.....

Did you eve plan a trip somewhere to a place you've longed to see? Then, after your trip is over, you realize that the whole experience left you feeling a little flat. You were rushed, tried to do too much, and probably spent far more money than you'd originally planned. We're a little more than midway through the summer...peak time for traveling. Vacations can be loads of fun. But, as you probably know, they can be very stressful, too. I came across an article the other day on how to plan, and enjoy, a better, happier, stress-free vacation. I think it's the perfect time to share these tips with you. So if you're planning a vacay in the near future, I hope these helpful hints will make your time away less stressful and way more pleasurable.
Humans don't get a lot of vacation time each year. Couple that with the high cost of traveling, and you can wind up feeling a bit overwhelmed when it comes time to plan your summer get-away. There's scientific evidence that shows how humans often miscalculate what kind of vacation they'll enjoy the most and end up missing out on what vacations have to offer in the moment. Many times, vacations are planned months...or even years...in advance. It's really hard to predict what kind of vacation you might want in the future but there are a few tricks, based on actual research, you can use to help plan and enjoy your vacations better.
1. Get advice from those who've gone before you. Sure, you can use travel guides, but science shows it's better to talk to others who have actually been to where you want to go. Leverage the power of social connect. Ask your questions and then, based on the answers you receive, decide if it's really a place you want to visit.
2. Mix up destinations and experiences so you don't adapt. It's nice to linger and relax while on vacation, but the experts agree that humans adapt quite easily to even the most amazing or unusual experiences. It's called hedonic adaptation. That means it's a good idea not to stay put for too long! That fabulous beach sunset is awe-inspiring the first couple of times you see it. But after the tenth time, you may find yourself not even noticing it. It makes good sense, then, to mix it up and move around. Too much of the same good thing and you might find yourself getting bored.
​3.  Minimize your choices. It's a bit like going into the ice cream store and trying to decide which flavor you want when you're confronted by twenty or more flavors. Too many choices make the decision much harder. If you like to cram a lot of things into your time off, you may come home and feel like you've just done too much. Limiting your choices can help. Staying in a small town with fewer things to see and do can actually be more satisfying than being in a big city where the choices are limitless. Use the strategy of imaging what a typical day on your vacation might be like. And be realistic. Imagine not only the good, but also the bad and the ugly aspects of the day. If you're thinking about going to Paris, for example, you will indeed have lots to see and do. But how much of it will you actually get around to doing, if you're spending all your time in long lines at the Louvre and Eiffel Tower? Ask yourself the tough questions. You may find that visiting Paris during the summer (the busiest time of year there) isn't what you really want. Perhaps a visit to beautiful French countryside is more in keeping with your idea of fun. You'll find great museums and architecture everywhere in France, and you won't spend all day waiting in those long Parisian lines!
4.  Consider your own personality when making choices. Just because your best friend's uncle enjoyed seeing thus and such, it doesn't mean you will. Are you more of an extrovert or an introvert?  The answer can help you decide if you'll be happier relaxing on a beach in the Caribbean or attending Broadway shows in New York City. Just don't neglect the importance of a challenge. Vacations are a great time to take a step outside your comfort zone. Research has shown that travel can be transformative if you give yourself the right level of challenges as part of the experience.
5.  Don't let costs ruin your vacation. "Spending money can be stressful, and there’s no getting around that traveling can be expensive. But a few simple rules will help you get the most pleasure for your buck. Since worrying about expenses is a real drag on happiness, it makes sense to consider buying prepaid vacation plans, where costs are up front and you don’t have to worry about nickel and diming your way through your vacation. Also, it’s a good idea to leave your most luxurious splurge to the end of your trip. Studies find that people tend to evaluate past vacations based on how they ended rather than their overall experience," so says travel author Jaime Kurtz.
6.  Plan for some uncertainty and doses of awe and flow.  Planning a vacation can be as much fun as actual taking the trip. It's good not to have every minute of every day planned out, however. Leave some uncertainty in your plans. If you're going on a spa holiday, let's say, leave some time in your schedule for exploring new things and a little bit of challenge. Along the way, you may find yourself in the presence of vast and awe-inspiring experiences. And don't forget to go with the flow. Losing track of time as you wander around a new place, is so much more enjoyable than constantly checking your watch because you're on a tight schedule, Who needs that kind of stress on a holiday?
7.  Choose immersion and connection in your travel. Simply passing through, then checking off destinations that might be on your "bucket list," isn't a way to increase happiness and satisfaction when you travel.  Avoiding "tourist traps" and immersing yourself in the local culture is a far better way to see those "must see" places. Again, research has shown that humans underestimate how much they'll actually enjoy talking to a stranger. In fact, when we make the effort to step away from the familiar to meet other people and experience their cultures, it can deepen our appreciation of the places we see. Immersing yourself in the local culture and connecting with native residents will make your trip far more memorable than staying in a big chain hotel. Get outside your comfort zone and really "see" the place your visiting! Live like a native, not a tourist.
8.  Take time to savor your vacation.  Jaime Kuntz, author of The Happy Traveler  says, "Being mindfully present for any experience can heighten our sense of enjoyment when we are traveling. However, too many of us lose our connection to our experiences because we worry about what’s happening at home or spend too much time “sharing” our adventures with friends via social media. It’s a good idea to put your phone away for large parts of your trip and just be present. Research suggests that, even though many of us may post photos of our trips hoping to share our happiness with others, this can backfire and actually create more distance between us and our loved ones at home. Plus, it’s impossible to really enjoy fully what’s in front of us if we’re checking our “likes” on social media or worrying too much about getting the “perfect photo.”
I hope these hints and tricks help to make your next trip not only a memorable one, but a happy one, as well.
Have a great weekend everyone. And stay safe, wherever your travels may take you.  I invite you all back here again on Monday! Meanwhile, it's time for me to go tip my toe in the water....

We should never let labels define who we are...but, all-too-often, we do. Take me, for example. You might label me as one, or all of the following: small, green, frog, amphibian, writer, son, friend, brother, silly, outgoing, nature-lover, a free-spirit, stupid or wise (your call). Indeed I am all of those things, but I don't define myself by any of them. Natasha Tsakos, a Swiss visual performance artist now living in Florida, said, "Labels are prisons of human potential" and she's so right! Whatever labels are thrust upon us by others (and by ourselves) they set limits on how far we can see ourselves going...just like the bars on a prison cell would contain us.
Most of our label problems don't come from actual circumstances, though, but by the way we define ourselves. And, believe it or not, that's good news! Why? Because it means that once we discover which label(s) we've used to define ourselves, we can then determine whether or not that "label" is actually based in truth (hint: it probably isn't). Then we can set about changing our attitude and belief about that label.
I recently read an article by one of my favorite self-help/life-style gurus, Martha Beck, who wrote that defining ourselves by labels is a universal behavior (amphibian, too). It's something called the social self; the part of each of us that interacts with the world and all those we share it with. According to Ms. Beck, "Every day we go forth with our social selves in tow, navigating dozens of complex interactions in which we pick up on others' social selves and act accordingly. You know how to talk to your boss because beneath every conversation is the understanding that you are her subordinate; you know how to speak to your uptight mother-in-law because you've decided who, and how, she is, relative to who you are." But those "people" aren't your essential self...the person (or frog) you are at your core and, unfortunately, that authentic you doesn't get the same amount of "air time" as all those other roles you play.  Once we get labeled as something or other, it becomes the role we play more often than not...it can affect the way we talk, the way we dress, the way we act. It's a little bit like being type-cast for an actor where they get associated with playing a particular type of character and then that same kind of role is the only one they get offered. Actors hate it...and so should you! 
There are a few labels that we probably actually like. I like being my parent's son and Quigley's big brother. I'm proud of being a writer and, actually, of being goofy. I bet you have a few of your own that you're rather proud of, too. But be careful! All labels, so says Martha Beck, come with a price, whether they're good labels or bad ones. Labels are inherently limiting...they can become like those prison bars. Every label can can cause of us to suffer. But the good news here, is that we can find our way out of label jail. We simply need to to spend more time with our essential self and less time with our social self. When you label yourself (or someone else does and you blindly accept it) ask yourself if the label is true. Then wait for the true answer to arise...and it will. 
Ms. Beck gives a brilliant exercise for each of us to use to help define more accurately who we really are.  Finish this sentence as many ays as you can: 
"I'm a ______________." Then go back and consider each and every label you wrote down. Maybe yours are the common ones like your place in the family unit, what you do for a living, etc. Maybe some will be deeper...I'm a chronic complainer, a neurotic, a worrier, etc. Then ask yourself the BIG question: Is it true? Does any one label encompass who you really are? We change and evolve every day. What you where even yesterday, isn't going to be exactly the same as what you are right now. So why allow your labels to hang around? Isn't it time to shed them...at least some of them, anyway? 
We'll probably never be 100% label-free. That's okay, too. As long as you don't let those labels "itch" or define you. I like to think of my personal labels just like the ones on my clothes. Some of them are bigger and scratchier than others. Some are far less irritating...you know, just like the clothing labels that often imprinted right onto the fabric. Those are much easier to "wear." As I change my clothes, those labels get changed as well. And none of them are a permanent part of my being. They aren't tattooed onto my skin.
If you're holding on to negative assumptions about yourself based on some label that you got as a kid, perhaps it's time to change the "garment" that label's attached to. I can pretty much assure you, anyway, that the "label" is a lie and the "shirt" doesn't fit you anymore..
Maybe it's time to give yourself a "get out of jail free" card and go shop for a new "grown-up" wardrobe...one that better fits who you are today. Just remember not to get too attached to it.
Oh, and by the way...Prison garb is never attractive and orange is not the new black. Personally, I think green is.

Today is Wednesday and that means only one thing...my weekly lesson from the Dharma Frog. In true Dharma fashion he arrived early this morning, and after a simple breakfast of tea, toast and jam, began my lesson with this; "The art of being happy, Irwin, lies in the frog's power of extracting it from common things."
Joy is a big-sounding word; filled with our own personal connotations of what we think joy ought to be. But rarely are those connotations ever really accurate. Dharma often reminds me that we can find joy in having empathy and compassion for others.  Sometimes, though, empathy and compassion can be emotionally-draining. Empathy can often feel more like a liability than an asset. We often see evidence of this in the helping professions - teachers, health care, and social work - where job burnout is high.  If you're a highly empathic person, or frog, you risk having increased stress and depression. So what's the solution? Not care at all or wear a "psychological hazmat suit" to protect yourself from the stress and suffering you see everyday. Dharma believes that the answer to these questions is "No." Actually, he says that the best solution is the exact opposite. Instead of creating emotional barriers to prevent us feeling too much, we need to increase our capacity for even more empathy. Don't become immune to the stress and struggles of others, but increase your susceptibility to catching joy! Positive empathy is what he calls it.
Most psychological science has focused on the negative aspects of empathy; the ability to understand and feel what someone else is feeling like pain, sadness, loneliness, etc. But humans, and us frogs as well, can also  catch other's joy and happiness. That is also a form of empathy and one we're learning more about every day. When we witness the good fortune of others, it can actually activate the reward system in  our own brain. This "contagious" happiness can be a huge source of our own well-being. Positive empathy has been linked to having greater life satisfaction, peace of mind and, yes, even happiness! Looking for happiness in common things, as well as allowing ourselves to feel genuinely happy for others, can have a positive effect on our physical and emotional health.  It turns out that positive empathy can also increase our trust, support, and satisfaction in all our relationships. When we feel more connected to others, which means we can experience both their heartaches and their joy, we have more and better (i.e. fulfilling) interactions. Experts on the subject are finding that positive empathy enhances that "warm glow" we get when we help others; this makes having compassion more sustainable (and with less chance of burnout).
Dharma explained to me that joy needn't be only those big moments life (marriage, the birth of our children, career advancement, etc) but that joy can (and should) be found daily in small things like a smile, a hug, and any expression of good cheer. There is joy in simple pleasures; listening to music, preparing a favorite meal, holding a baby, and watching children at play. These are the things, Dharma believes, that bring lasting happiness...being able to extract happiness from common and everyday things. There is joy in being connected to something bigger than yourself - like nature, family, or faith. Joy is also wonderment, curiosity and, especially, awe. We can find joy in the appreciation and acknowledgement we receive from others. And there is joy in laughter...especially when it's shared.
My wise teacher tells me that positive empathy, empathic joy, allows us to stay engaged with life. We can use it, too, as a resource to help us get through life's most difficult times. Positive empathy gives us hope in the face of uncertainty and when we are struggling with needs that are yet unmet. 
What is the best way to catch joy?  It's a bit like catching flies for us frogs. Becoming aware (increasing your power of observation) is something we can train ourselves to do. I'd probably starve to death, if I simply sat on my lily pad and waited for a bug to fly by. But by becoming more observant of the world around me and actively becoming engaged, I see where the bugs are and no longer have to wait until one just happens to fly by my head. Catching joy is the same way. You needn't wait for joy and happiness to happen to you. By becoming more aware of the world around you and actively engaging in your life (this means don't "sleep walk" through it) you'll ind many, many reasons to feel happy and joyous. Happiness is all around us when we open our eyes.
After Dharma left this morning, I decided to put today's lesson into actual practice; I would find joy in everything I did...starting with washing up the breakfast dishes. I put on my favorite tunes and began clearing the table. Much to my surprise, I found that I did feel happier and more grateful. Life offers us so many good and wonderful opportunities to find joy. And they can be as close, and as simple, as your kitchen sink.