Perhaps it's your crooked smile, or that your teeth aren't movie-star straight. maybe you dislike your dimples, red hair, or you think your mouth is too big. Physical attritubes, such as these, can be changed. But at what cost? Cosmetic proceedures are on the rise...and so are the prices. People are getting nipped here, tucked there, and generally made to look like someone other than themselves. They seem to find this desirable. Nobody wants to look like themselves anymore. But there's even more to it than that. It goes WAY deeper than the physical image. Humans often don't like what's on the inside, either. And no amount of cosmetic surgery can change that!
Before you can learn to love what's on the "outside", humans must first learn to love what's on the inside. Bullies are people who don't really love who they are. They need to make others feel terrible in order to make themselves feel good. But it isn't a one-time fix. They will need to constantly bully someone in order to keep reassuring themselves that they're better than everyone else. The sad fact is that, deep down, they know they're not. No matter what they say or do. Bullys lack self-love.
But I have found a few ways that can help, frogs and humans alike, to learn to be more accepting of themselves.
1. What is your personality type? Are you a helper/caregiver type or are you a career/success-driven type? Learning to embrace our personality-type is the first step in self love. We are what we are. The sooner we learn to accept this, the better we'll feel.
2. What's your signature style? Outgoing and bold? Intense? Ditzy? They're all wonderful and every type is needed to make our world more interesting.
3. What are your beliefs? What do you believe about the universe, about nature, about life?
4. Spirituality. Do you attend church regularly or are more of a quiet reflection type, preferring to meditate or take a solitary walk to feel spiritually awakened?
5. What are your aspirations? Do you strive for a cause that is greater than yourself?
6. What is your dominant sense? Sight, sound, touch? How do you best experience your world?
7. Are you a happy person?
8. Are you creative?
9. Genes. what traits have you inherited from your parents and grandparents>
10. How do you feel about your body? The size and build of your body is genetically encoded but how you care for it will determine what it looks like.
11. Your face. it's the mirror of the soul. If we are happy and upbeat, it shows on our face. If we're negative and tense that, too, will show clearly.
12. What is your ethnicity? You can't change it so why not learn to embrace it. Celebrate your culture and learn as much about it as you can. Being proud of who you are will increase your self-confidence as well as your self-love!
There are other things, as well, that we should consider when thinking about, and embracing, our uniqueness. Things like, your voice, diction, gender, health, and even your hormones. There are so many factors and variables that go into the equation of making each human unique. Sure, some of these things can be changed, but most of them, the important parts of us (frogs and humans), are pretty much set-in-stone. We can either learn to love them, or we can spend our entire life being unhappy and wishing that we were different.
There have been times when I wanted to be a red-eyed tree frog, or a beautiful blue dart frog, but I know I can never be either of them. I am a small, common green frog and I've learned to be OK with that. I have the unique gift of being able to write. And I embrace that whole-heartedly. I'll never be exactly like the frog on the lily pad next door, even though we live in ehe same swamp. I like that! The parts of myself that used to bother me, when I was a froglet, are now the very things I love most about myself. It comes down to changing our beliefs about what's beautiful, what special, what's important, and we see as "worthy."
Self-love is something we're born with. Unfortunately, society can sometimes alter our beliefs about ourselves...but only if we let it. Remembering that we each have a purpose and a unique destiny can go along way to helping us reclaim, and relove, those individual and quirky qualities and traits we are born with. Celebrate you!